WWE ARMAGEDDON 2003
TD Waterhouse Center
Orlando, Florida
December 14, 2003
Results courtesy of lordsodpain.net
Mark Henry w/Theodore Long vs. Booker T
The announcers greatly hyped the strength of Mark Henry from the moment he set
foot on the ramp. Booker T early on attempted to bombard Henry with punches to
no avail. The World's Strongest Man kept Booker T down. Booker quickly began a
new game plan, which included a pescado and a missile dropkick in rapid
succession. Teddy Long distracted him long enough, however, for Henry to regain
control. He would maintain it with a backbreaker and a stretch-style submission
maneuver. Booker raked the eyes to escape, but was once more on the unhappy side
of offense when Henry placed him on the middle rope and gave him the modified
Bossman splash where he slid over his head to the outside. Another submission, a
rear headlock, gave Booker T a hope spot that lead to Booker T running right
into the Bear Hug. The announcers began talking about the capture of a certain
former dictator today, and how Andre the Giant was not as strong as Henry.
Booker T would escape the Bear Hug only to eat a vicious clothesline. When Henry
attempted a huge leg drop Booker T sat up. The impact of the missed move
actually echoed through the surprisingly lively arena. Booker was up first, by
was Irish whipped anyway. Spring boarding backwards over Henry he delivered a
flying front kick and a arm bar side kick combination one after another while
Henry was dazed. An axe kick brought Henry down (sold a moment late) but only
scored a two-count. When Mark returned to his feet he gave Booker the Bob Holly
style spine buster, which also only scored a two-count. The massive leg drop hit
this time, but Henry lacks the Hulkamaniacs to make that a successful finisher
and Booker kicked out. A power bomb follow-up was badly botched, where Booker
was simply dropped. Returning to his feet after the botched move Booker T kicked
Henry in the stomach to double in over. A second, better executed, axe kick
would score the pin fall so JR could compare him to our troops in Iraq.
Intercontinental Championship - Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam (C)
Foley would show some old-school officiating by displaying the belt to both
competitors and to the crowd before the match start. After psyching Orton out
RVD would sweep Orton and sent him to the outside to immediately regroup.
Returning to the ring Randy placed RVD in a side headlock that began a decent
chain wrestling sequence. RVD back flipped over a back body drop and hit a spin
kick and then a drop kick to Orton's gut. A cross body lead to a two count, but
a two count only, for the reigning champ. RVD continued the assault, delivering
a spin kick that knocked Orton of the ring apron and a cannonball plancha. More
near falls, with the champion in complete control, until he went to the top rope
and Orton pushed him forward to the guard rail. The challenger followed outside
and hitting a standing dropkick which would garner him a string of near falls.
Orton began to cheat now, choking Van Dam on the middle rope, but Foley was
right there with the count. A second time Foley pulled Orton off and still
managed to keep Ric Flair from delivering the cheap shot. Mick went outside to
argue with the Legend. Back in the ring, Randy Orton was pounding and picking
Rob apart. A running cross body took Orton down, but he answered right back with
stiff clotheslines. JR mentioned that no IC Champ has ever retained at
Armageddon. Snap Mare take down lead up to a dropkick to RVD's face. At this
point I believe I have Orton down for six headlocks in this match. Bread and
butter RVD, with the scoop slam into the Split Legged moonsault for two. Orton
set RVD up for a power bomb and then neck dropped him straight down. More
headlocks than you can shake a stick at, I swear! A jumping spin drop kick to
Randy's throat put both competitors down, but Foley forget to count. The crowd
didn't, however, when Rob put him to the corner for the ten punches. RVD began
his assault, utilizing half of the moves he knows including a monkey flip, a
Northern Lights Suplex into a bridge and the twirling leg drop from the apron
over the guard rail. When going back into the ring Orton grabbed RVD midway
through the ring and gave delivered an amazing DDT while Rob's legs were
suspended on the second rope. Rob came back quickly from that maneuver, hitting
the other half of his arsenal including step-over spin kicks and rolling
thunder. Flair attempted to interfere twice and ate a knuckle sandwich each
time. While Foley dealt with Flair Orton crotched Rob on the top and hit the RKO
for the pin, which Mick begrudgingly counted. Orton celebrated in the ring with
his new strap following the win. JR actually compared the RKO to the Stunner.
Battle of the Sexes - Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Lita and Trish Stratus
Did you know that Eric Bischoff is like Saddam Hussein? Thanks for the factoid
JR! Yes, they both need a bath - I know. Proving my theory that WWE entrances
take too long JR and the King had enough time to compare this Battle of the
Sexes to the famous tennis match of the same name. Starting the match Jericho
tried to talk to Chris, but when he touched her chin she slapped him. Jericho
refused to fight back, only defending himself. When he caught her cross body he
did give her a spanking but let go to announce he didn't want this. Trish took
advantage of Jericho and hit her offense, which Chris bumped around for like a
madman. Christian tagged himself in and pushed Trish down like... well like a
large man pushing a women down. Lita tagged in, to the delight of the Chaotic
Evil Wonder Twin. He grabbed her hands like every abusive boyfriend but Lita
head butted him. Playing the fox Lita picked and moved, evading and countering
Christian to actually get a near fall. When it looked like she was in complete
control Jericho hit her in the back while she ran the ropes. Christian body
slammed her, and tagged in his apparently Chaotic Neutral partner who did the
same. She tried to do the same attack plan that worked with Christian, but he
began working on her hair. Christian tagged in and also attacked the hair. Then
he hit below...err, above the belt by ripping off Lita's top while she sobbed
and taunted her with it. A low blow gave her time to tag in Trish, who also was
able to evade Christian's attacks and cause him to fly outside on his own
charge. Jericho was on the top and was nearly taken ff with a head scissors, but
pushed Trish off of him. Christian came in and once more charges Trish, who
bended backwards under the attack. That caused the rather inept Christian to run
into Jericho, knocking him off the apron. Trish rolled Christian up but was
unable to get the hand to slap down a third time. Seemingly tired of the game
Christian gave her a clothesline, but turned directly into a top rope
Litacanrana. Jericho pulled Lita out of the ring though, and threw her into the
guard rail. Rolling into the ring Jericho helped Trish up, and stared at her
without attack. Christian seized the opportunity of Trish and Jericho's staring
into one another’s eyes and rolled the third Canadian Blonde in the ring up for
the victory. Afterward the Christian celebrated, with Jericho looking fairly
dismayed over the whole thing. The two left the ring in their respective states
of emotion.
Shawn Michaels vs. Batista w/Ric Flair
Michaels played Trish and Lita here, picking and moving with the monster. The
monster caught him though, and began pounding him. Shawn slid under a kick to
the outside, decking Ric Flair for good measure. Batista stalled outside for a
bit with Flair before returning to the ring to pound Michaels some more. He
couldn't hit any power moves, though, as Shawn kept slipping free. Still,
Batista remained in control with clotheslines and until he could finally hit a
suplex. From here Batista work over the back of HBK; mostly with Irish whips and
forearms. He attempted a belly to back Superplex but was knocked off. Still up
top Michaels waited until his opponent stood to give him a moonsault. Both men
were down, and this referee remembered his count. Michaels nipped up, but
Batista clothesline him down. Batista threw Michaels outside and then into the
ring steps with another Irish whip. More attacks to the back of HBK, with a
backbreaker submission. Michaels trued to come back with a chop fest, which he
actually was able to out-slap the big member of Evolution. Batista went for a
Baldo-Bomb, but Michaels reversed it into a DDT. The crowd began to feel it as
Shawn went to the top and delivered the elbow drop. That could only mean one
thing and soon HBK was tuning up the band for Sweet Chin Music, only to be
caught and given a pair of spine busters in successions. Batista went for
a power bomb after the spine busters but The Heartbreak Kid hopped off his
shoulders and delivered the super kick out of no where. After the match Flair
helped a confused, and then angered, Batista to his feet.
Maven vs. Matt Hardy
Maven's music hit for his match with Matt Hardy, which was announced on heat,
but Batista refused to leave the ring in his anger. When Matt came down he was
still there, so they fought briefly to the outside. As soon as possible the
afterthought of Mattitude threw Maven into the ring where Batista tore him apart
with power bombs. Batista would finally leave, and the referee would declare the
match could not take place. Matt Version 1.0 would become livid at the match not
taking place and would splash Maven and pin the winner of Tough Enough, counting
the pin himself and announcing the "Win" himself.
World Tag-Team Championship - Tag Team Turmoil
La Resistance and Rosey and the Hurricane started us off. Hurricane badly
screwed up a springboard plancha almost immediately, but appeared unhurt. As the
Frenchman worked over the Green Lantern JR and King mused whether or not France
should be allowed to bid for contracts in Iraq, to the audible sighs of the
reporter. Helms hit the X-Factor to tag in S.H.I.T. who barreled over the
cheese-eating surrender monkeys. Hurricane stood on Rosey's shoulders as he sat
on the top rope and splashed his way to victory. Jindrak and Cade's music hit,
and they ran in from the audience and rolled Helms up (tights in hand) for a
quick elimination. Lance Storm and Val Venis entered with ladies in tow.
Jindrak and Val ran around the ring, occasionally actually hitting the other.
Lance came in, and proceeded to work over Cade. The crowd began chanting boring
as the two traded submission locks. Storm grabbed Cade's arm, stood on the rope
and black flipped over. He went to the well again, and ate a fist full of
Jindrak for his mistake. Val got the tag though, and came in a house of fire to
work over both of the odd couple at once. A Blue Thunder power bomb only got
two. When going for a suplex Cade tripped Val so Jindrak landed on top, and
held the leg down to eliminate Val and Lance. The Dudleyz were next, who
injected some much needed life into the crowd. Initially the Duds would control
the pace, but Devon would get caught in the wrong corner of the young cheaters.
Bubba came in and the two wrecked house together of course. After numerous near
falls Cade would get thrown to the outside which enabled a 3D to eliminate Cade
and Jindrak. Falling the fall they attacked and apparently hurt the Dudley Boyz.
Next up was Test and Scott Steiner, who are no longer with Stacey apparently.
With the Dudleyz injured the two would easily be able to out power and suplex
the Tag Champs, especially Bubba, at will. When a suplex was attempted though,
Bubba fought out and pushed Test down. Then something amazing happened, he hit
the Senton Bomb! Devon got the hot tag off the Senton and entered to attack both
Test and Steiner. They eventually overwhelm him though and begin running him
through both their move sets. No matter what neither could get the pin, even
with Test using the ropes as leverage. Discouraged with this Test hit Devon with
the chair while the ref could clearly see him. Bubba broke up the tag and gave
Test a Bubba Bomb for the elimination. As Lillian was announcing their victory
Bischoff's music hits and he enters the arena. As the Dudley Boyz rolled around
in exhaustion and pain he announced the final team of Batista and Ric Flair.
From the moment the final team entered they dominated the weakened Dudley Boyz.
Batista hit the sit-out power bomb for the victory.
Women's' Championship - Molly Holly (C) vs. Ivory
Filler match of the year. Of course, Molly Holly is sexually frustrated
according to the announcers; or maybe she is simply irregular. It is a good
thing the women can wrestle so well otherwise I might fast forward through this
match. Actually, it doesn't matter that they wrestle so well, because I still
fast forwarded through the match. Hmm... My ESP kicked in. I had a dream I was
watching this match on my computer. Anyway! Molly exposed the turnbuckle,
but Ivory blocked the face smash and would reverse it. Still, Molly got the pin
after rolling over the pin. Yeah...
Triple Threat World Heavyweight Championship - Kane vs. Triple H vs.
Goldberg (C)
Hunter looks like he's had one too many YJ Stinger's these days. I guess they
are trying to make people believe that HHH is going to win this match, so
Evolution can hold all the gold. Three-way stare down, where both competitors
wondered who would begin, started the match. Hunter taunted Goldberg, but backed
away. Kane came forward, so Triple H could get behind him. Kane and Hunter
worked together on Goldberg. It was a short-lived partnership, with Kane turning
on Hunter. Goldberg took his chance and power slam Kane down, but he sat up.
Kane man-handled the champion while the Game hid outside. He came in hen Bill
took the advantage but was suplexed down. Kane went to the top but Goldberg
sloppily slammed him off. Hunter tried to attack from behind but Goldberg
sloppily powers lamed him as well. I tried my hand but was sloppily power
slammed. As doing me in he went to spear Kane, and ate the boot to the face.
Once again Kane and Hunter were working together on Goldberg again. When Hunter
went for a pin their friendship ended quickly enough. Before they could come to
blows Goldberg was revived, and he threw Hunter (Who must be very hurt to hide
outside the whole match) out. Kane was about to hit the choke slam but Hunter
accidentally hit him with a steel chair. Goldberg beat on Hunter and went to
break his leg with the chair him but Kane returned to throw him outside and
fight him there. I love how the announcers are out on the ramp, but the Spanish
announcers remain ringside. Goldberg had fought back and was about to suplex
Kane through the table but Hunter stopped him with a chair. Kane Choke-slammed
the champ but the table didn't budge an inch. So Hunter laid him atop of it,
climbing the guard rail to elbow drop him through it properly. HHH grabbed a
chair, but Kane was wary. Triple H actually hid the chair behind him. Kane
turned away so Hunter through him into the steel steps, but couldn't hit the
pedigree. Kane chased HHH back in and worked over the eight time champion with
everything he had. Went he went looking for the choke slam Triple H put a thumb
in the burned boy's eye. A DDT couldn't keep the monster down and after sitting
up Kane was on his feet. Kane too looks a little pudgy. Hunter ran, but Kane
caught him and choke slammed him on the steel ramp. He carried Hunter back to
the ring, and got in just in time to get speared. All three members were down
and Bill covered Kane so Hunter could break it up. All standing the three traded
punches. The heels worked together again, but Goldberg could not be denied. He
speared Kane again, and gave Hunter one as well. Evolution ran down but Goldberg
left them lying. The time prevented anything but a two counter on Hunter since
Kane was able to break it up. Goldberg and Kane tried to choke one another out
but Hunter broke it up and Evolution pulled the Big Red Machine out of the ring.
While Batista restrained Kane HHH pinned a crotched Goldberg.