WCW Monday Nitro
Salt Lake City,
July 20, 1998
And we're live from Salt Lake City, UT, with three hours of WCW Monday Nitro!!!
We get some "T&A" from the Nitro Girls to start.
In attendance, Nash, Giant, NJPW stars, Ultimo Dragon, Scott Norton, and Jerry Mathers, as the Beaver.
Tony: "My goodness, Mike Tenay, that's nWo music!!!" "Medium Sexy, The Nash Killer" comes out. Sign: "Hogan's Gots Bosoms" Hall: "Hey yo" Hall's getting booed. Hall says that there's no reason for a survey, because everyone came to see the: Hmmm...apparently everyone came to see the boos. Hall talks about the "sad saga of Kevin Nash losing his little buddy." Hall makes references to "Gilligan" and "The Skipper." Hall: "I don't see how you can call yourself the leader of the Wolfpac, when you're not even a man." Hall mentions Hogan in an approving light, drawing big boos. Hall: "Love him or hate him, at least Hollywood Hogan is a man."
Tony says that the two top contenders to the US Title will wrestle to determine the new champ! The top contenders are Bret Hart and DDP! So much for a tournament. Something like that might cut into Hogan's interview time.
We see a retrospective of the Hall/Nash problems from last week.
Match 1: Johnny Boone vs. Stevie Ray Yes yes yes! No no no! Stevie Ray comes out without his belt. Stevie says that nobody took him seriously about his belt. Stevie says he left the belt with his brother, but he has one of the "Top Ten TV Title" competitors in the ring tonight. His opponent - Woah! It's Bore-Us Malenko! They haven't mentioned his opponent's name yet. Stevie opening up on Johnny Boone. That's who it is. Stevie drops Boone gut-first over the top, and then kicks him to the apron. Zbysko calls Stevie Ray a "man on a mission." As long as he's not "Mabel" Stevie talks to the camera, but Chavo Guerrero runs out with the TV belt! The announcers have a fit over the fact that Stevie said he'd given the belt back to Booker, but he obviously didn't. Boone tries a rollup, but it's only two. In the ring, Stevie hits the Slapjack for the win! Chavo's got Pepe with him, by the way. Chavo and Pepe drop the TV belt, and hit the road, while Stevie Ray tries to hide the belt behind his back. That's pretty funny.
We see Hogan shove Bagwell out of his wheelchair last week. In case someone wasn't watching before the commercial, we see it again. The only amusing thing from that was having Hogan asking Rick Steiner if he wanted "another leg broken," as Steiner is standing there with an arm brace. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.
Mean Gene is out, and calls out "The Dogfood Gremlin" Rick Steiner Steiner's got his arm bandage off. He's in street clothes, though. Gene asks Rick about Scott. Rick says that Scott was talking trash. Rick says that he's always gotten Scott in after he's done things, high school, college, WCW, etc. Rick says that if Scott wants to fight, Rick will fight him at Road Wild. Rick: "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a stinking crybaby." Gene comes up with the startling observation that the Steiners are brothers. Rick says he's ready to go, and is ready to take Scott on right now. Rick says he'll do whatever he has to do to get Scott. Buff Bagwell gets wheeled out. Rick: "Marcus, what happened to you last week is a tragedy." Rick says he went out to win, not to paralyze Buff. Rick says he feels its his fault, and y'know I y'know just y'know feel bad y'know I'll be there. Bagwell says that people ask him if he's forgiven Rick, and says he was mad about it at first. Bagwell says that what Rick did changed his life. Bagwell says he loves the fans a different way, and he forgives Rick. Bagwell shakes his hand, and gets out of his wheelchair to hug Rick. Scott Steiner runs out and hits Rick with a chair! Bagwell gets between the Steiners, and manages to hobble over to get the chair from Scott. Scott points at Rick, and Bagwell nails Rick with the chair! Bagwell rips off his neck brace, drops to a knee, and poses! Bagwell: "I'm Buff, and I'm the Stuff!" Bagwell and Scott lay some more hurtin' on Rick, as the announcers convey their disgust. Buff could have been a good face/tweener, but my personal guess is that Hogan had to have a semi-talented wrestler to pump up his lame-ass nWo faction. Aldo D. thinks that Hogan should have an unfriendly encounter with two 500-pound women.
Mean Gene brings out "Mr. Loophole" Chris Jericho Jericho: "Thank you, Gene Mean." Jericho wanted to address the faithful Jericholoics. Jericho has been suffering mental abuse from Dean Malenko, who has been interfering in his matches, speaking about his family, speaking about his dead father (?).... Jericho says Malenko wants a shot at the belt. Jericho says that Malenko can't be a true Paragon of Virtue, a true Role Model. Jericho says he's a fair champion, so next week in San Antonio, Jericho will give Malenko a chance at the belt. However, it's the last time, and if he loses, he will never, eeeeeeever, get a chance at either Jericho or the belt, again. Jericho fixes his hair in the belt.
The announcers talk, and Scott Hall comes up to throw a toothpick at Zbysko Hall says he's got something to say: Hall says he's been hanging around Hogan, and learning about movies, and the one thing he's learned that sells is "action." Hall says that Nash has been in the sequel to "Tears of Endearment," though. Hall: "Kev, why don't you try a little Monostat for that infection." The announcers say we'll see the Nash interview again.
We see the parking lot, where there's a sign that says "Star of the Show" and a wrecked car. That's kinda surreal.
Match 2: Sick Boy (w/Lodi) vs. Steve McMichael Lodi brings out Sick Boy. It's apparently just Tenay and Zbysko in the booth. Sick Boy will be facing Mongo. Tony's back now. Mongo: "Here comes a Horseman." Tony says that "Star of the Show" thing is a takeoff on Jay Leno. It looks like those rumors of Jay Leno involvement in Road Wild are true. Lodi gets scared of Mongo, and hits him with the paper sign. Mongo tries to choke him, but Sick Boy attacks. Back in the ring, Mongo avoids a rollup, and hits a big forearm. Sick Boy hits a springboard back-elbow. Mongo hits a side suplex, and hits a pair of tackles. Mongo signals for the Mongo Spike, and hits it for the win.
We see the great Arn Anderson interview from last week!!!! Kick ass!
Tony sends a chill through my body by saying that we'll be seeing another installment of the Eric Bischoff show after the commercial. Dear God no.
This week's Nitro Party winner - some high school schmoe from Boone, NC. I think I'm losing teeth just watching this.
It's time for the most controversial show on Nitro, nWo Nightcap Bischoff is introduced as the man who scares Leno, and the original E-Mail, Easy E Eric Bischoff. Bischoff comes out with Liz to some cheap canned applause. I can feel the suck waves flowing from my TV like a might Tsunami. I'm only going to have the strength to hit the high points on this one. Bischoff is trying to do a monologue. The only good thing is that he seems to be intentionally bad, instead of taking it seriously. We're getting a curious mix of boos from the crowd and the canned laugh track. Tony says that Bischoff is doing Jay Leno's exact monologue from Jay Leno on Friday's show! Bischoff says that California is putting a tax on oversized vehicle, starting with Jay Leno's chin. More chin jokes. Bischoff threatens that we'll be back interviewing Hogan after a commercial break. It's 8:59, and we're in the MIDDLE of this fool thing. Is Bischoff on Vince's payroll, or is he just suicidal?
We're back with Hour Number Two!
We see another look at the Kevin Nash interview from last week.
Actually, we're having technical difficulties.
We cut to the back, to see Scott Hall in the production truck coming out with the videotape. Kevin Nash is out there too, and Hall throws the tape at him. Nash starts beating the tar out of Hall, and they go out to the parking lot. They go near a trailer, and nWo Hollywood runs out.
The Wolfpac comes out too, and it's a good old-fashioned "Pier Six Brawl" I wonder if anything ever happens on Piers One through Five. Probably just really intense "shuffleboard" games. Bret Hart comes to the announce position Hart says he's going to kick DDP's butt, and wants to face him right now. In the back, we see Konnan standing over a prone DDP. Hart wants them to bring DDP's "ass" to the ring. Hart feigns innocence about what happened. A trainer is looking over DDP, as Hart smirks to the ring. Tenay: "What's the deal with the broadcast booth tonight?"
JJ Dillon comes out, and powerwalks to the ring Dillon is motioning to the back. Hart is motioning for the belt. Dillon wants more time, Hart says he's chicken. We see the Hall/Nash/nWo/Wolfpac "donnybrook" from, oh, a good 3 minutes ago.
Match 3: Yuji Nagata (w/Sonny Oono) vs. Saturn Sonny Oono and Yuji Nagata come out. I guess he's not back in Japan yet. He'll be taking on the other suplex machine, Saturn. Aldo D. misses Yuji's floormats. I gotta agree - those things had class. Saturn reverses a hiptoss into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Saturn with an armlock, but Nagata gets to the ropes. Nagata comes back with a belly-to-belly. Nagata goes to work on the left leg. The announcers say that things backstage are so intense between Hall and Nash that they've just separated them. Saturn hits a German suplex. Nagata hits a Yakuza Kick. JJ Dillon has signed a match for Sting and Nash against Hall and Giant for the tag titles. Nagata with a belly-to-back suplex. Saturn avoids a corner charge, and hits a small package for two. Saturn with a T-Bone suplex. Saturn hits a superkick. Oono distracts the ref, and Raven comes in and plants Saturn with an Evenflow. Nagata locks on the Nagatalock, and gets the pin on the unconcious Saturn. The Flock comes back in to attack Saturn. Kanyon runs in and dismantles the Flock. He delivers Flatliners to the Flock. Kidman gets caught on top, and Kanyon delivers a PILEDRIVER FROM THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE!!!! OH SHIT!!!! That move ruled!!!!!! Kanyon helps Saturn up, but Saturn delivers a Spicolli Driver to Kanyon! Saturn: "Kanyon, stay out of my business. Raven, I'm coming for you!"As an aside, for the second week, Kidman came out in preppy clothes, while the rest of the flock looked their usual grungy selves. Hint of a future turn?
We see Hart's "I'm mad" speech from last week, followed by Hart taking out the cruisers.
The Nitro Girls are in the crowd. Kim is dancing with some kid who just waves at the camera.
Heenan joins the broadcast booth.
Match 4: WCW World Tag Team Champions Sting and Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall and Giant Wolfpac music comes on, bringing out the champs. They don't look happy. They put a belt on Mark "Shooter" Curtis. Nash gets on the mic. Nash sounds happy, actually, informing us that "Wolfpac in the house." nWo music comes on, bringing out Hall and Big Tobacco. Giant and Hall goof on the way to the ring. People in the crowd have nWo shirts with the log in half-white and half-red. The Shooter calls for the bell. Hall throws his shirt at Nash. Hall bounces around like a chihuaua, while Nash moves methodically. Hall throws his toothpick at Nash. Nash moves forward, and Hall tags Giant. The big men lock up, and Giant shoves Nash into the corner. Giant with kicks, and an avalanche clothesline. Nash reverses a whip to an avalanche of his own. Nash hits the big boot, sending Giant out. Hall comes in, and gets bounced by the faces. Nash tags Sting in to face Hall. Sting is wrestling in jeans, red boots, and his Wolfpac shirt. Hall does his shoulder-drive armlock, but Sting clotheslines him. Commercial. As we come back, Sting is calling for Giant to get tagged in. Hall spits on Sting, and tags Big Tobacco. Sting avoids a corner charge, and Giant gets hung on the turnbuckles. Sting hits a Stinger Splash, but Giant gets his foot up when he tries it again. Giant gets some shots in, and tags Hall. Hall paintbrushes Sting's head. Hall has "Wolfpac" on the back of his trunks. Hall gets some Giant help on his abdominal stretch. Sting makes the tag, and Nash is a house o'fire! Giant's getting beat up, and Nash lets Hall tag in. Nash starts pounding on Hall, but misses Snake Eyes. Nash avoids Hall, and hits the big boot. Nash signals for the Jackknife. That brings Giant in, to axehandle Nash. Sting comes in and delivers a low blow to Giant, and bulldogs him. Everyone but Sting is down in the ring. Sting goes back to the apron. Hall grabs a boot, but Nash still makes the tag. It's Sting and Hall. Sting hits a Stinger Splash, turns Hall around,a nd hits another. Sting tries the Scorpion, as Nash deals with Giant. Sting's still trying for the Scorpion Deathlock. Bret Hart comes in, distracts Sting, and Sting sends Hart outside. Sting's on the turnbuckle yelling at Hart, allowing Hall to hit the Outsider Edge for the win and the belts! Giant and Hall leave with the belts.
We see the extended-form Road Wild preview with Travis Twitt signing. He threatens to see me in Sturgis. No, I'll see you in HELL!!!
We see Hart at the announcer's booth from earlier in the night, along with DDP winning the Oscar for "Best Performance As A Twitching Blob, Getting Shouted At In Spanish By A Hyperactive Hispanic Gangster"
Match 5: Disco Inferno and Alex Wright vs. Masahiro Chono and The Great Muta Yes! Disco!!!! Disco informs us that he's going to do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight. Das Nitrogirl makes the next entrance. nWo music brings out.... It's Masa Chono and the Great Muta! The Dancers, well, dance, as Chono and Muta enter the ring. The NJPW duo attacks early, and start putting the smack down on Wright. Alex hits a spinwheel kick. Chono holds the distinction of being the last wrestler to beat the great Lou Thesz. Disco tags in, and kicks Chono down in the corner. Disco ducks for a backdrop, but gets a Yakuza Kick when he looks up. Muta does a weird little dance, and attacks Disco. Disco hits his swinging neckbreaker on Muta. Disco hits the ropes, but Chono kicks him. Muta hits a dragonscrew legwhip, and then applies a legbar for the submission win. Scott Norton comes in, and powerslams Wright. Norton then powerbombs Disco. The announcers, of course, never say the "P" word.
We're here with Hour Number Three!
The Nitro Girls come back out, with Kim Getting a solo. The WCW trainer comes out, gets Kim, and takes her to the back.
Match 6: Tokyo Magnum vs. Ultimo Dragon Yes! Tokyo Magnum! Magnum is dancing like Alex Wright. He'll be facing his teacher, Ultimo Dragon. Tokyo dances at Ultimo, and Dragon wipes him out with a forearm. Dragon kicks Tokyo's leg out from under him. Magnum dances, and falls for the headstand dropkick. Dragon hits his Dragon Kicks. Magnum tries to come back, but gets met with a kick. Stiff kick to Magnum's back, followed by another one. Magnum puts Dragon on the top turnbuckle, and frankensteiners him off. Tenay: "We haven't seen Hogan yet." Heenan: "Don't wish for bad things." Magnum goes up top, dives off, and Dragon misses him with a dropkick. Dragon hits a NICE brainbuster. Dragon waits a few seconds, applies the Dragon Sleeper, and gets the win.
We see Hall and Giant win the belts from a good 15 minutes ago.
Match 7: Jim Powers vs. Scott Norton (w/Vincent) Jim "Juice" Powers is out to fulfil out Hour Number Three "Jobber Quota" He'll be facing Scott "Grand Master Flash" Norton, and The Most Useless Man In Wrestling. Powers hits the ropes, and then hits the mat when he tries a shoulerblock. Norton crushes Powers against the corner. Powers gets three kicks in, and hits a kneelift. Powers ducks a clothesline, but gets powerslamed. Norton works over Powers in the corner. Norton hits a short-arm clothesline. Powers avoids an avalanche, and fights back on two more. Powers doesn't budge Norton with two clothesline, and gets caught in a Samoan Drop. Norton powerbombs Powers for the win, and Tenay finally says the "P" word.Tenay says that Norton is sending a message to Nash by using the puh-puh-puh-powerbomb.
We see Bischoff running down Leno again.
We see a "special look" at Hogan attacking people.
"Voodoo Child" brings out the Great Orange Ego himself nWo Hollywood accompanies him. Hall is wearing a "Syxx-like" bandanna. Muta and Chono are with them. Bischoff says he's sorry that Karl Malone couldn't be here tonight, but he decided to bring us the real stars in the world of entertainment. As he does that, Vincent is in the camera shot. What's wrong with this picture? Hogan: "Blah blah blah God blah ruler of wrestling blah blah" Hogan has nothing but love for Hall. Hogan says that he admires the worship and dedication of Marcus Bagwell and Scott Steiner. Hogan says that Goldberg is the next man on his hit list. Hogan: "Blah blah blah worship blah universal power blah blah wrestling at our feet blah" Hogan says that Jay Leno needs to take a back seat to the man who is going to take over the late night scene. Protect us all. Hogan says that Hart is ready, and DDP needs to show up to take his beating like a man. That's ten minutes of my life I'll never have back.
We see Konnan/DDP vs. Hennig/Hall from Thunder.
Match 8: Konnan (w/"Big Dog" Antoine Carr) vs. Eddie Guerrero Supercool! Eddie Guerrero! Wolfpac music brings out Konnan and some big black guy. The big guy is "Big Dog" Antoine Carr of the Utah Jazz. Konnan scratches at Guerrero, as Carr stares Guerrero down. Carr informs us that the Utah Jazz, Utah, and The Big Dog are "Bout it bout it" and rowdy rowdy. Guerrero uses some Carr/Konnan celebration to attack. Guerrero hits a clothesline. Konnan must superglue his pants to keep them attached to his butt. Konnan throws Guerrero into the air. Gorilla Press from Konnan! Guerrero goes outside to regain his senses, but comes face-to-face with the Big Dog. Guerrero hits his rear and calls for "time out." Konnan either has shiny boogers, or a nosering. Konnan flips Guerrero with his feet, and delivers a belly-to-back suplex. Konnan with a split-legged faceslam for two. Konnan hits his rolling clothesline for two. The crowd gets excited. Chavo comes out with Konnan's clothes on, saying he and P-Dogg are bout it bout it! This is hilarious. Konnan with a neckbreaker-thing. Chavo tries to get Konnan's attention. He does, allowing Eddie to hit a brainbuster. Eddie's mortified by Chavo. Eddie grabs Pepe, tries to attack Konnan, but Konnan ducks. Konnan nails Chavo, grabs Pepe, and hits Eddie, leading to his disqualification. Konnan backdrops Eddie HIGH over the ropes. Chavo hits the road after the match.
Match 9: Curt Hennig (w/Rick Rude) vs. Lex Luger Hennig. Wolfpac music brings out Flexy Lexy. Luger flexes to the crowd, and gives some fan a souvenir shirt. Luger powers Hennig to the corner out of the lockup. Hennig with a go-behind, but Luger elbows his way out of it. Luger with a hiptoss, and Hennig hits the floor. Hennig gets the advantage, and hits some running kicks. Luger's getting worked over by the heels, and Hennig hits his flipping neck snap. Luger hulks up out of a chop, but Hennig hits a thumb to the eye. Hennig locks on a sleeper. Sleeper? She's your date! Luger hulks out of it, and hits a belly-to-back suplex. Luger hotshots Hennig into the corner, hits an atomic drop, and two clotheslines. Luger flexes at Hennig. Luger throws Hennig into the ref, and hits the loaded forearm. Rude runs in, and Luger racks Rude!! Hennig hits Luger in the back, and hits the Hennigplex. The ref slowly crawls over. Rude holds Luger's leg. The ref counts one.....two.....three. Hennig wins.
More Bischoff from earlier.
Match 10: For the vacant US Heavyweight Title: Bret Hart vs. Diamond Dallas Page Michael Buffer does the honors. Bret Hart gets the first entrance. Buffer says: "And now ladies an." Buffer: "Please stand by." Mark "Shooter" Curtis is down talking to Buffer. Scott Dickenson delivered a message to Buffer. We see DDP come limping down to the ring, with a big bandage on his knee and his face beat up. DDP actually looks like hell. Good job by the "makeup artists" tonight. Page leans in the corner, and Curtis signals for the bell. Hart circles Page, and back him into a corner. Hart starts beating on Page. Page tries to fight back from his knees, but Hart hits an atomic headbutt Hart works on the ribs. Crowd: "DDP" Page gets up, but Hart ducks a punch. Hart rakes the face. Hart pretends he's Brad Armstrong with his Russian Legsweep. Hart goes for the Sharpshooter, and turns Page over, but Page gets to the ropes. They're talking about how Page should give it up, so I"m predicting a DDP win. Hart applies another Sharpshooter. Page submits to the Sharpshooter. Hart is the new US Heavyweight Champion. Page is down and twitching. Paramedics come to wheel DDP to the back, while Hart poses with the belt. Hogan and Disciple come out with nWo Hollywood. Hall gets a cheap shot on DDP as Page gets wheeled off. We get shots of nWo Hollywood celebrating, and DDP getting taken off to the hospital.
And that's the show!