Raw is War

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
November 26, 2001

Just 13 days before the World Wrestling Federation Championship and the World Championship are unified at Vengeance, the Nov. 26 episode of RAW emanated live from Oklahoma City!

As the show began, footage was shown from earlier in the day of World Wrestling Federation co-owners Ric Flair and Vince McMahon. Ric said he respected Vince, but Vince had worn him out on SmackDown!, after Vince talked down to him. Ric also complained about the gang attacks on The Rock and Stone Cold on Thursday's show. Flair said that from now on, nothing would go down without his notice. Ric held out his hand, and Vince shook it, saying it was fair. Vince said he had a way to make it up to Flair, which he would reveal later in the show.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler greeted fans to the show, as Ross mentioned how good it was to be back in his home state of Oklahoma.

Vince and Kurt Angle strutted to the ring as the show kicked off. Vince said that one week ago on RAW, he had welcomed William Regal as the first member of the "Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club." Vince said he liked when people kissed his ass, and that tonight, a second member would be inducted. Before he revealed that individual, he introduced Kurt to the crowd, calling Kurt a hero, and the man he believed would soon be the undisputed champion.

Kurt said that all his life, he'd been a winner. He said he was the toughest kid on his block, and the toughest kid in the Boy Scouts, the most popular kid in high school, and the best athlete and student at Clarion University. Angle then spoke about winning the gold medal in the 1996 Olympics, and about winning all the titles in the World Wrestling Federation. Kurt promised that at Vengeance, he would indeed become the first-ever undisputed World Champion.

Vince then showed footage from last Monday's RAW, of Stone Cold Steve Austin attacking him, and from Thursday's SmackDown!, of Austin getting mauled by William Regal and others. Vince said that made it a wonderful Thanksgiving. He said the moral to the story was that Stone Cold doesn't want any more of Mr. McMahon, having learned his lesson the first time. He said Stone Cold didn't want to go through Austin-McMahon II, but would have to if he kept crossing him and Kurt.

Vince said he didn't think it was too much to ask for him to invite Stone Cold to be the newest member of the "Kiss My Ass Club!" He said that if Stone Cold knew what was good for him, he wo

Backstage, Regal watched Vince's footage with the Dudley Boyz, Test and Christian. Regal was thrilled at the prospect of Austin kissing Vince's ass. He then warned the others that Austin might try to exact revenge after they all attacked the Rattlesnake on SmackDown! He suggested that they all stick together on RAW to fend off Austin. Suddenly, Ric Flair walked in and said that they all had matches, and if anyone interfered in anyone else's matches, they would be suspended! Regal reasoned that if they couldn't watch each others' backs, then Austin shouldn't be able to interfere in their matches. Flair said it was a point well taken, and that he would keep Austin from heading to ringside for their matches, but he couldn't control the Texas Rattlesnake backstage!

The first match on RAW was for the European Championship, as Christian defended against Jeff Hardy, who was accompanied to ringside by Lita. As the match began, J.R. informed fans that Jeff was a bit lightheaded coming into the match, still feeling the aftereffects of his Swanton Bomb from the top of the cage through a table at Survivor Series. Matt Hardy soon made his way to ringside, and argued with Lita that Jeff shouldn't be in the ring. Christian went to work on Jeff's head and neck, but Jeff battled back with a Twist of Fate. Matt screamed at him to go for the cover, but Jeff went up top. Jeff set up for the Swanton, but Christian rolled out of the ring.

Matt got in the way, so as not to allow his brother to jump, and Christian knocked Matt into the post, knocking Jeff from the top. Christian then pinned Jeff to win the bout and retain his title.

A trainer checked on Jeff backstage, and Matt told his brother that he was stupid for even getting in the ring, and for taking unnecessary risks. Matt said he got involved because he cared about him and about the team. Jeff said that since they were kids, Matt was trying to control them, thinking he was smarter and better. Matt said there was no question that he was smarter. Lita tried to get involved, and Matt told his girlfriend to shut up! Lita said she thought Matt was in there because he cared about Jeff, but it was clear that all he cared about was himself. Lita then stormed out, and Jeff asked Matt who felt stupid now. Matt then left the trainer's room in search of his girlfriend.

Next up, Rob Van Dam defended the Hardcore Championship against Rob Van Dam. The weapons came out early, including a stop sign, a garbage can and a steel chair. D-Von soon scored with a scintillating running neckbreaker onto a chair for a two-count! Moments later, Van Dam hit the Five-Star Frog Splash onto a chair to pin D-Von and retain his championship!

Backstage, Regal, Test, Bubba and Christian looked very disappointed. Regal said he needed to go to the bathroom, and asked the others to accompany him, because you never knew when Stone Cold was going to attack. As they all headed for the bathroom, Bubba screamed, "I ain't holding nothing!"

Moments later, the men were in the bathroom when Big Show entered and used the urinal next to Regal. Regal looked over in surprise at the size of the Show's show! Suddenly, the door opened, and in came D-Von Dudley. In his shock, Regal turned around too quickly, and wound up peeing all over Show's leg!

Michael Cole interviewed Stacy Keibler about her Bra and Panties Match against Trish Stratus. Stacy said that when she was in her bra and panties, she always came out on top!

During the break, an angry Big Show exited from Ric Flair's office with a smile on his face.

The Women's Championship was on the line as Trish Stratus defended against Stacy Keibler in a Bra and Panties match. As the match began, J.R. announced that Big Show would meet William Regal one-on-one on RAW. Stacy soon ripped off Trish's shirt, and moments later, Trish had taken off Stacy's! Moments later, Trish rolled Stacy up and took off Stacy's shorts! Trish then pinned Stacy to retain her championship!

The Rock headed to the ring to a huge ovation, as finally he had come back to Oklahoma City! As the fans chanted "Rocky," the World Champion said that he never claimed to be a genius, but if there were currently two champions -- he and Stone Cold -- then wouldn't it make sense for the two champions to meet each other, champion vs. champion, in a WrestleMania rematch?

Rock said that obviously Vince didn't see that logic. Rock mocked Vince, saying that the owner instead decided to put two "losers" like Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle in the ring to get their ass whooped. He then mocked Vince for having a grown man kiss his ass, and Rock said that Vince would even have a woodchuck nibble on his scrotum, and have a deer stick his antlers up his billion-dollar ass!

Rock said that if Vince wanted to do things his way, then fine. But Rock said that come Vengeance, no matter what Vince did ... but before Rock could finish his thought, out came Chris Jericho!

Y2J said it was funny that Rock mentioned his millions, because it was the millions who led him to an epiphany last Thursday on SmackDown!, when Jericho beat Rock with his own move, the Rock Bottom. He said he had realized what his biggest weakness was -- he cared about what the people thought about him. He said he was more concerned with entertaining people than with winning his matches. He said it was fun, but it got him nowhere.

He said that now he had turned the page, and that he no longer cared about the millions, but now he cared about just one -- himself.

As a result, Y2J said he was now a bigger star than he could have ever imagined. He said he was now larger than life, and he was now completely focused on becoming the undisputed champion at Vengeance, further cementing his status as a living legend.

Rock mocked Y2J for wanting to be a living legend. He said that at Vengeance, the former Jerichoholics would witness him whipping Y2J's ass. He then said that since Y2J interrupted Rock in the first place, then this one was for Jericho on behalf of the millions -- "If ya smell what The Rock is cookin'!"

Next up, Edge defended the Intercontinental Championship against the man from whom he won the title at Survivor Series -- Test. Edge went for the spear on Test, but Test pulled the ref in the way, and the ref disqualified Test. After the bout, Test grabbed a steel chair from the outside and went to attack Edge, but Edge was saved by Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert, who, along with Edge, triple-teamed Test!

Kurt Angle talked to Vince McMahon and told him to concentrate on which cheek he would have Stone Cold kiss! Kurt said that he couldn't wait for that moment. Angle said that if there was anything that was pathetic, it was an ass-kisser. William Regal then entered the locker room and asked if Vince could pull some strings for him, since he didn't want to face the Big Show. Vince said he had a partner now, so he couldn't do it on his own, but he did whisper some words of advice to Regal on how to deal with Show.

That match was up next, and Show was not a happy man as the match began. Show dominated Regal with his size and strength in the early-going, until suddenly, Booker T ran in through the crowd. Show distracted the ref long enough for Regal to nail Show with brass knuckles. Security guards chased Booker from the arena as Regal pinned Show for the win!

Mr. McMahon paced backstage as he was approached by the Undertaker. Taker asked since when did Vince send for him. Vince asked how Taker's Thanksgiving was, saying that he was the one who put him in the main event against Angle on SmackDown! Vince said that when he came to the ring with a chair on SmackDown!, he was going to knock the hell out of him, because he cares! Vince said that he had cared for Taker for 11 years. Vince said when Taker said that he wanted some respect, that was all he had given him for 11 years. Mr.

McMahon said he had taken it for granted that Taker would always be there for him -- and that's the ultimate respect you could pay someone. Vince then said that Taker owes him, because Taker is the American Badass, and without the Federation, Taker would be in jail. Vince also said that the two men were a lot alike, before walking out of the locker room and leaving Taker to think about it.

At WWF New York, Lance Storm talked about how now that he's out of a job, he was just biding his time to come back. The camera then panned back -- revealing that Storm was working as a janitor at WWF New York!

The Rock was set to take on Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle in a Handicap Match, but before the match began, out came Ric Flair! Flair said he didn't think Vince would mind that he was turning the Handicap Match into a tag match! Flair then introduced Rock's partner -- Kane!

Jericho and Angle isolated Rock, double-teaming the People's Champion and trying to wear him down. Finally, Rock made the tag to Kane, and the Big Red Machine cleaned house! Kane was going to the chokeslam on Kurt, but Y2J hit a missile dropkick and broke that up. Angle and Jericho then double-teamed Kane, trying to keep the 7-footer off his vertical base. Soon Kane made the tag, and an irate Rock went at it with Y2J, nailing him with a spinebuster, and locking him in the sharpshooter! But Kurt broke that up, only to be met by a flying clothesline from Kane!

Y2J then measured Rock for the Rock Bottom, but Rock battled out and scored with a DDT for the pinfall win over Jericho!

After the bout, Rock was about to leave the ring, but thought twice about it and came back. Rock then delivered a Rock Bottom to Y2J! After thinking about leaving again, Rock grabbed a chair and went to hit Y2J, but Angle pulled Jericho out of the line of fire.

Mr. McMahon talked to the Dudleys, Regal, Test and Christian, saying that he knew the night wasn't going exactly as planned, but that they would get the last laugh. He said there was nothing Flair could do about Stone Cold kissing Vince's ass in the ring tonight. Regal said that Vince had given him a present earlier in the night, and so he had one for Vince -- so he gave Vince the chapstick from last week! Vince then left and told the group that they better have his back, just in case.

Footage was shown of several empty beer cans lying on the floor of Stone Cold's locker room.

Mr. McMahon then headed to the ring for the induction of the next member of the "Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club," which he said would be Stone Cold Steve Austin. But for the fans in attendance, he said the Rattlesnake wouldn't do anything that any of them wouldn't do. He accused them of all kissing their boss' ass. He told them not to be upset at Austin for doing what they would all do also. He then introduced Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Down to the ring came the World Wrestling Federation Champion, who stared the Federation co-owner down. The Rattlesnake drank a beer in the ring as Mr. McMahon took off his jacket. Vince unzipped his pants and told Austin to get on his knees, and Austin said, "What?" repeatedly! Vince warned Austin that he didn't want McMahon-Austin II, and told him to take the easy way and pubicly kiss his ass.

Austin said he would think about it, and downed another beer. Vince asked if Austin would kiss his ass or not, and Austin said that he had seen Vince for what he was in the past few months, and said he didn't want Austin-McMahon II. He said it was time for them to bury the hatchet. Vince said that that was his point, and told Austin to pucker up.

Vince then lowered his trousers, as Austin called him the ugliest stripped he'd ever seen in his life! Vince then gave Austin the Chapstick, and the Rattlesnake indeed put it on, saying if he was gonna go it, he was gonna do it the right way. Vince then gave him some gum, complaining that Austin's breath smelled like beer. Austin chewed the gum, and Vince then gave him some mouthwash too, telling him to gargle. Austin said that Vince was starting to get on his nerves, but if he was gonna do it, he was gonna do it the right way. He then gargled the mouthwash.

Vince then told Austin to get on his knees, and the co-owner pulled down his underwear, revealing the billion-dollar butt! He said there was not one blemish on his ass! Stone Cold got down his his knees, and said that before he kissed his ass, he wanted it to do a trick! Vince made his ass do a trick, and Austin made Vince promise that if he kissed his ass, it was over between them. Vince said yes, and told Austin to kiss.

The Rattlesnake stared at Vince's ass, and asked if Vince ever used toilet paper! Austin said this was hard for him, and Vince said he didn't have all night, and just to ro it already.

Instead of kissing his ass though, Austin gave Vince a low blow and started beating on the Federation co-owner with a leather belt! The Dudleys, Regal, Christian, Angle and Test came down to assault Austin, beating the hell out of the Rattlesnake. The fight spilled through the crowd as Kurt helped Vince recover in the ring. J.R. laughed on the outside at what he had just seen.

Inside the ring, Kurt saw J.R. laughing, and Vince grabbed a microphone and denounced the fans and J.R. for laughing. He said he would give them something to laugh at. Kurt then pulled J.R. over the announce table and threw him into the ring. Vince said he was now going to make J.R. kiss his ass -- and that the fans would be doing it through J.R.!

Kurt then made J.R. get down on his knees, and Vince told J.R. to kiss his ass! But suddenly, out came the Undertaker!

The Taker got in the ring and grabbed J.R.'s hat. He gave it back to the Oklahoma native. Taker said he's been here a long time, and just when he thought he'd seen everything, Vince takes the cake, with Vince making J.R. kiss his ass. Taker said that in 11 years, he'd seen a lot of people come and go, and he'd seen the games they and Vince had played. Taker said that when it was all said and done, they all kissed Vince's ass. Taker said that the saddest thing is that the one that kissed Vince's ass most was him! Taker said that after 11 years, he was still putting up with Vince's crap. Taker told J.R. that before he took care of the situation, was J.R. going to kiss Vince's ass? J.R. said hell no, and Taker asked if he wanted to kiss Vince's ass, and J.R. said hell no!

Taker then asked J.R. if he thought he was better than Taker -- and the American Badass punched out J.R.! Vince was shocked, as Taker said that in front of J.R.'s hometown fans, Ross would kiss Vince's ass! Taker told Vince to drop his pants, as he accused J.R. of thinking he was better than Taker. Taker told J.R. to pucker up, and then Taker said that it wouldn't be right -- until Vince was wearing J.R.'s hat! Taker then put J.R.'s hat on Vince, and forced J.R. to kiss Vince's ass!

Mr. McMahon did a dance around the ring, and Taker stared down at J.R. as RAW went off the air!

uld do so tonight on RAW!