Raw is War
March 11, 2002
Just six days before WrestleMania X8, the March 11 episode of RAW emanated live from Detroit in front of a sold-out crowd of 16,167 at the Joe Louis Arena!
The crowd rose to their feet for the opening match, a six-man contest pitting Rob Van Dam and the Hardy Boyz against Intercontinental Champion William Regal and the Dudley Boyz. As the match began, J.R. announced that there would be a four-team elimination match for the Tag Team Championship this Sunday at WrestleMania, with the champions Billy & Chuck defending against the Dudleys, the Hardys and the APA. Before the opening bell even rang, RVD leapt from the inside of the ring over the top rope, splashing onto the IC Champion. D-Von had soon reached under the ring for a table, but Jeff Hardy kicked it into his face! Soon all six superstars were in the ring, and the Dudleys hit 3-D on Jeff. But Matt nailed the Twist of Fate on D-Von, and soon tagged in RVD. RVD downed Regal with a roundhouse kick, and then hit a huge Five-Star Frog Splash on the IC Champion, then pinning him for the win!
J.R. mentioned that an emergency board meeting was going on at World Wrestling Federation headquarters in Stamford, Conn. Footage of that meeting was then shown, with Vince McMahon and Ric Flair being seen with the entire board of directors of WWFE, including Linda McMahon. Mr. McMahon said the company was in a state of emergency because of Ric Flair. Vince said that since Flair acquired his ownership of the company, the company had been a ship without a rudder. Vince said that his proven leadership wanted to take the ship in one direction, and Flair wanted to take it in another. Vince asked the board to do the right thing -- to choose which direction the company would go in, and who would lead the company. Vince said he intended to prove tonight that Flair is not in the right emotional state of mind to lead the company, and he asked for a unanimous vote that one of them must lead the company -- either Flair or Vince McMahon must have absolute authority and power.
Your Olympic hero and mine, Kurt Angle, headed to the ring to a chorus of boos. J.R. announced that Kane was not scheduled to be at RAW due to the vicious attack the Big Red Machine suffered at Angle's hands last Thursday on SmackDown! Kurt said he wanted to take the time to talk about something the people of Detroit were very familiar with -- crime. He said he wasn't talking about carjacking or mugging, but instead about something even more important -- robbery.
Angle said he was robbed of his WrestleMania title shot. He said that two weeks ago on RAW, he had Chris Jericho right where he wanted him, until that "burnt moron" Kane cost him the match.
Angle asked Kane who the hell he thought he was. Angle said Kane had experienced first-hand last week on SmackDown! how he treats people who cost him title shots. Angle said that Kane might be the Big Red Machine, but he was the Big Red, White and Blue Machine! Angle said that he had spoken to Mr. McMahon earlier in the day, and he would be facing Kane this Sunday at WrestleMania! He said that at WrestleMania, he would make Kane's childhood burns seem like a paper cut.
Kurt said it wasn't Kane's whole fault he wasn't wrestling for the title at WrestleMania -- he said the other reason was the utter stupidity of the fans! He said every time he walked out, the people chanted, "You suck!" Angle begged someone to tell him how the Federation fans got so stupid.
Suddenly, out walked Booker T. Booker said he was sick and tired of Angle running off at the mouth, telling the people they were stupid. He said Kurt was pissing him off. Booker said the people in the arena weren't stupid -- they were beyond stupid, and brain dead! Booker said the fans were the reason he lost his Japanese shampoo commercial! He said he was mad because this was supposed to be his first WrestleMania, and he didn't even have an opponent! Angle said, "You're damn skippy, homey!"
As Angle and Booker talked, Edge walked out to the stage. Edge said he couldn't believe Booker was complaining about not having a title shot at WrestleMania; he said he already had a title -- the dumbest man in the company! Booker then made fun of Edge for being the first one voted off Weakest Link last night. Edge responded by saying that he got one question wrong, and asked how Booker did on Weakest Link! Booker said he didn't remember, and Edge refreshed his memory by playing footage from the show, of Booker getting numerous questions wrong!
Edge said he found it strange that someone with the word "Book" in his name had apparently never read one. Edge said Booker may not have a title shot at WrestleMania, but if he wanted an opponent, he was looking at one. Booker accepted Edge's challenge. Angle said it was "Krispy Kreme with no caffeine." Edge said that Kurt wasn't red, white and blue -- he was just really white! Edge said Kurt wasn't cool, but Angle said "cool" was his middle name! Angle then did the spinerooni -- or at least, he tried to! Edge said it was the first-ever "dorkerooni!"
Angle asked if Edge was jealous. He said he knew Booker could beat Edge at WrestleMania, but suggested they start tonight. Kurt suggested a tag match, with he and Booker against Edge and a partner of Edge's choice. Edge said, "Oui, oui," and said that even though Kane wasn't around, he would get a partner to face Angle and Booker. He then asked to hear Angle's music, so Detroit could practice saying, "You suck!"
Stephanie McMahon was talking to her and Triple H's dog, Lucy, backstage, saying it was the ugliest thing she had ever seen. Stephanie said the dog would be spending the rest of his life in a cage. She said she hated the dog. Triple H walked into the locker room, pushed Stephanie aside, and took the dog into his arms. The Game said they had done some horrible stuff to each other, but thanks for the dog. Stephanie said Lucy wasn't his dog anymore. She had a court order making Lucy hers, after telling a judge that Triple H beat his dog and didn't feed her. She asked who was the bitch now. Triple H warned Stephanie not to screw with his dog, and challenged her to try him. He threw the dog on Stephanie, and said, "She does stink ... doesn't she, Lucy?" Stephanie said Triple H was just jealous because Triple H wasn't the Undisputed Champion -- but she would introduce Lucy to a champion who hated dogs more than she does.
Next up, Rikishi went one-on-one with Test. Test went for the big kick, but the Phat Man ducked and hit Test with a kick of his own, followed by a Samoan drop. Rikishi then hit a sit-down splash and an avalanche, and set Test up for the Stink Face -- but Mr. Perfect ran down and got up on the ring apron. Rikishi dragged Perfect into the ring and then knocked him out, only to turn around and get nailed by a big boot to the face. Test then pinned Rikishi for the win.
Backstage, Stephanie screamed for Lucy to get off the sofa. Into the locker room walked Y2J, who was disgusted by Lucy. Stephanie screamed for Jericho to get the dog off the couch, which he did. Stephanie said it was worth it, because of seeing the look on The Game's face. Suddenly, a smell filled the locker room, and it turned out the dog had pooped all over the floor! Stephanie screamed for Jericho to take the dog for a walk, and to get someone to clean up the mess.
Outside the arena, Y2J took Lucy for a walk in the freezing cold. Y2J questioned why a living legend had to take Lucy for a walk. Y2J tied Lucy's leash to the door handle of a limo and left her out in the freezing cold.
In catering, DDP was talking to a stagehand, and was approached by a smiling Christian, who said positivity just wasn't working for him. The two practiced smiling. They were then approached by Billy & Chuck, who said they shouldn't be smiling at each other. Billy called the men losers, and Christian said he wasn't a loser, and would prove it. Christian said he couldn't think of a better opponent than Billy, who he called "precious." Billy said he would see Christian in the ring, and Chuck jokingly asked if Christian would throw a tantrum if he lost. DDP said he knew Christian would win tonight, and that's a good thing.
Back at the board meeting at WWFE, Vince said that as the board members deliberated, they should keep in mind how Ric Flair punched a fan last Thursday on SmackDown! and was subsequently arrested. The board member murmured to each other as Vince stared Flair down.
Hardcore Champion Goldust defended against Al Snow. Prior to the bout, Goldust brought a number of hardcore toys into the ring, including a golden chair and a golden garbage can. Goldust soon went for the Golden Globes, but Al avoided contact and hit Goldust with a golden fire extinguisher, and then slammed him onto a golden trashcan. Al then pinned Goldust to win the Hardcore Championship!
In the parking area, Lucy was still tied to the limo, as Y2J talked to Stephanie on his cell phone. Stephanie told Y2J to get some air freshener, and Jericho told the limo driver to drive him to the store to get some air freshener. As the car backed up, the sounds of a shrieking dog were heard. The driver stopped, and said it looked like he ran over something. Y2J said yes -- the driver had run over something, not him. Y2J told the driver to go clean up his mess, seeming like he didn't give a damn about the dog at all!
Moments later, Triple H ran outside to see what had happened, and the driver said there was a dog stuck under the car. The driver said the dog was still alive, but needed help. The Game screamed for the driver to get help.
Kurt Angle and Booker T were up next in tag action, taking on Edge and his partner -- the Big Show! As the match began, J.R. informed fans that Triple H had left the arena to take the dog to the vet. Show was large and in charge as the match began, using his incredible power and size to his advantage. Angle wrenched Show in the ankle lock, but Show kicked his way out of it, knocking Kurt all the way to the outside. Show also tossed Booker over the top. Edge then got on Show's shoulders and leapt to the outside, on top of both Angle and Booker T! Show had Angle and Booker set for a double chokeslam, but they got out of it and tried to suplex Show -- only to have Show hit them with a double suplex!
Moments later, Angle suplexed Edge to the outside, and Show went to chokeslam Angle, but Booker hit Show with a scissors kick from the outside. Edge hit Booker with a spear, and Angle hit Show with a monstrous Angle slam! Angle then put Show in the ankle lock, and Show tapped out, giving Angle and Booker the victory!
In the locker room, Stephanie was very upset about what had happened to Lucy, saying Triple H was going to kill her, because the dog meant the world to The Game. Y2J said that if Hunter tried to come backstage, he had something in store for him.
At WWF New York, Torrie Wilson, Jacqueline and Terri got on the stage in bikinis to promote the "Sex on the Beach" special this Wednesday on UPN!
Billy was seconded to the ring by his Tag Team Championship partner, Chuck, as he met Christian. Christian, who was looking to get back on the winning track in the bout, was accompanied to ringside by his inspirational partner, European Champion DDP, who joined J.R. and Jerry Lawler for color commentary. Billy dominated the early part of the bout, but Christian moved when Billy went for the fame-asser. Outside the ring, Christian threw a temper tantrum, and DDP went over to calm him down. As the ref got DDP away from Christian, Chuck blindsided Christian. Back in the ring, Billy hit a fame-asser on Christian, but DDP hit the Diamond Cutter on Billy and Christian pinned Billy to finally win a match!
DDP and Christian celebrated after the bout, with Christian throwing a happy tantrum! Suddenly, as DDP was celebrating, Christian attacked him, culminating in the Unprettier. Christian screamed that he didn't need Page, since he was a winner!
More footage was shown of the WWFE board meeting. Vince asked how embarrassing it was to see a Federation co-owner punch out a fan and be arrested on television. Vince said it was one thing to attack a superstar, but it was another to attack a fan. Vince said it was even worse for him to be arrested, saying that Flair didn't give a damn about anyone in the room, or about what the Federation's logo stands for. Vince said Flair only cared about himself. He reminded fans of the Royal Rumble, when Flair forced Vince into a match and humiliated him. Vince said it wasn't about him or Flair, it was about the board doing the right thing. Vince asked for a vote of confidence, asking who was capable of leading the company. Vince said he was asking for that vote for all the right reasons. Linda said it was apparent the board had some decisions to make, and they would go to a private area to discuss their decision.
It was then announced that the Women's Championship will be on the line at WrestleMania in Triple Threat Match -- Jazz will defend against both Lita and Trish Stratus!
In divas tag-team action, Lita and Trish Stratus took on Jazz and Stacy Keibler. Jazz and Stacy double-teamed Trish as the match began. J.R. announced during the bout that Lucy had a broken leg, and that Triple H was on his way back to the arena. Lita looked to have Stacy pinned with a slam, but Jazz broke it up. All four divas were soon in the ring, and Lita tossed Stacy to the outside. Lita and Trish double-teamed Jazz, but when Lita held Jazz, Trish went for a kick and accidentally hit Lita! Jazz then pinned Lita for the win.
An irate Triple H returned to the arena. He marched into Stephanie's locker room and screamed for his wife, only to hear her music sound out in the arena. And indeed, Stephanie headed down to the ring, looking over her shoulder the entire way. She asked for a microphone, and said she knew Hunter was back, and she just wanted to apologize for what happened to Lucy, saying it was a complete accident. She said she may have said some bad things, but she knew how much Hunter loved Lucy, and never meant for anything bad to happen to the dog.
It didn't take long for The Game to storm to the ring. He ran after Stephanie, chasing her up the ramp and catching her by her hair. Triple H tossed his soon-to-be ex-wife into the ring and talked some smack, before setting her up for the Pedigree. But as he went for the move, Chris Jericho attacked The Game's surgically repaired knee with a sledgehammer! Y2J nailed The Game with a second shot to Triple H's once-injured left quadriceps muscle. Officials quickly ran to the ring to check on Triple H, who was screaming in pain as Stephanie and Y2J smiled from ear to ear. The Game was heard to say that he thought he tore his quad again.
During the commercial break, Y2J ran out and again clipped Triple H's knee out from under him, and after commercial, The Game was put onto a stretcher and taken to the hospital.
Back at the WWFE board meeting, Vince thanked everyone for coming to the emergency session. Linda said she had her decision, but first asked Ric if he planned to go through with his match with Undertaker at WrestleMania. Ric said yes, and Linda said they had no choice but to grant Vince a unanimous vote of confidence with full right to act. Vince said they had made the right choice, but Linda said they reserved the right to review the decision immediately following WrestleMania. Vince said that was OK with him, and Ric thanked the board. Flair then stood up and said he'd had to watch his best friend massacred and watch his son beaten to a pulp.
He said no one would enjoy watching that or living through it. As far as embarrassing the company, he said he was sorry, but he too had a family and had responsibilities, and his main one was to protect his families at any cost. He said he could accept the temporary suspension, but no one in the room would ever strip him of his pride or of the name "Flair." He said that at WrestleMania, he would even the score with Undertaker at any cost to himself personally. Flair stared down Vince McMahon before leaving the boardroom.
Backstage, the nWo were comparing muscles. Hogan said he had goosebumps, and hadn't felt this way in years. He said he was exited about showing the world who was truly legendary. Hall said he felt the same way. Nash told the guys that it was indeed six days until Mania, but tonight it was a night of firsts -- the first match back for he and Hogan, and the first time the nWo was wrestling in a Federation ring. Nash said they would make sure that the night went down in history.
The main event on RAW was quite possibly the biggest match in RAW history, as Stone Cold Steve Austin teamed up with The Rock against the nWo -- Hogan, Hall and Nash -- in a three-on-two Handicap Match. Rock went right after Hogan, only to be attacked from behind by Hall. Hall soon tagged in Nash, who went to work on the People's Champion.
With Rock down, Nash tagged in Hogan to a huge ovation. Hogan pounded on the Brahma Bull, and then made a quick tag to Hall to continue the abuse on the Great One. Rock tried to battle back, but the nWo isolated him in their corner. Finally, though, Rock got the tag to Austin. The Rattlesnake was a house afire, hitting Nash with a Lou Thesz Press and hitting Hall with a spinebuster. He flung Hall into Nash and took both down with a double clothesline.
Nash hit Austin with a boot to the face and tagged in Hall. Hall attacked Austin with punched and kicks, and hit him with a fallaway slam for two. Nash continued to wear down the Texas Rattlesnake, but Stone Cold fought back with all his might, only to be overtaken by the nWo triple-team. Hogan soon tagged in and slammed Austin down. Hall hit Austin with a chokeslam for two, and then signaled for the Outsider's Edge. He set Austin up for the maneuver, but Austin backdropped him, and Stone Cold went for the Stunner on Hall, only to be pushed away.
Austin finally got the tag to Rock, who wore down Nash with punches and a huge flying clothesline. He DDTed Hall, only to be caught by a Nash clothesline. With Rock down, Hogan asked for the tag, and talked some smack. Rock kipped up, only to be caught by Nash from behind. Hogan wore Rock down, and the bout was soon out of control, with al five men going at it. In the ring, Hogan hit the big boot and a leg drop on The Rock, and pinned him for the win!After the bout, Austin attacked Hogan, but Nash and Hall cornered the Rattlesnake. Hall hit Austin with a Stone Cold Stunner, and the nWo celebrated their win as RAW went off the air!