Raw is War
Columbus, Ohio
May 2, 2006
Chaos in Columbus
By Ed Williams III
May 1, 2006
All in the course of one crazy and chaotic night on RAW, WWE Champion John Cena
proved once again why he is one of the most resilient champions in WWE history,
Shawn Michaels stuck it to the Spirit Squad on multiple occasions to gain some
revenge on them and Mr. McMahon from Backlash, and Triple H defied the
Chairman's orders when he walked out of his assignment as special referee of the
main event.
Mr. McMahon kicked off RAW with a huge announcement, declaring that the Spirit
Squad would be the co-General Managers for the evening. And right from the
outset, it appeared as though it could very well be John Cena’s last night as
WWE Champion. After drawing “spirit straws”, it was determined that Kenny would
challenge Cena for the gold and attempt to become the youngest WWE Champion in
history at just 20 years of age.
Before the bell rang for RAW’s main event, John Cena’s chances of retaining the
WWE Championship against Kenny of the Spirit Squad seemed slim to none, and
“slim” was headed for the exits of the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, OH. He was
fresh off the heels of arguably the most hellacious Triple Threat Match in WWE
history, he had to contend with all five members of the Spirit Squad, and his
arch-rival Triple H was the special guest referee. But somehow, some way, The
Champ showed his unparalleled tenacity and for the second time in perhaps the
toughest 24 hours of his career, successfully defended the WWE Championship
against all odds.
Cena knew he was in trouble right from the beginning when had Kenny up for an
FU. Before he could execute his signature maneuver, Triple H decked The Champ.
But The Game wasn’t doing Kenny any favors either. Upset that he was refereeing
instead of competing for the WWE Championship, Triple H took a lackadaisical
approach to officiating and was slow to get into position for all of Kenny’s pin
attempts as well. Kenny was not amused at The Game’s lack of enthusiasm and
pushed the King of Kings out of frustration. Triple H responded with a
thunderous punch and laid out Johnny with a Pedigree before simply leaving the
match. One has to wonder what Mr. McMahon thinks of Triple H walking out on his
officiating duties.
Since the match needed another referee, Shawn Michaels, who had already
officiated one match earlier in the evening, came to the ring. But before he
did, he and The Game crossed paths and engaged in a rather uncomfortable stare
down. Wanting revenge on the Spirit Squad for their involvement in his match at
Backlash, HBK helped Cena clean house. With the ring cleared, Cena hit Kenny
with the FU, and HBK counted the 1-2-3, getting back at both the Squad and Mr.
McMahon in the process.
But this wasn’t the first time the Showstopper got some payback. The Spirit
Squad tried to continue to send HBK down the highway to hell when they made him
officiate the Kane vs. Rob Conway match. To make it more interesting, or
dangerous rather, they forced Michaels to wear a shirt plastered with “May 19”
all over it, in hopes of riling up the Big Red Monster. Every time Kane hears or
sees that date, which just so happens to be the same date his movie, See No
Evil, opens in theaters everywhere, he goes into a destructive fit of rage. So,
before Kane came to the ring, HBK low-blowed Conway and put the shirt on him. In
just moments, Conway became a casualty to the unfortunate circumstances as Kane
destroyed him, and HBK got his revenge.
Not all the action happened inside the ring, though. In fact, there were plenty
of fireworks at the broadcast booth. During the night, RAW play-by-play
announcer Joey Styles was summoned to the back for a meeting with the Spirit
Squad. They informed Styles that he needed to show more spirit otherwise they
would force him to wear a cheerleading outfit next week. Jerry “The King” Lawler
poked fun at Styles upon his return to the booth, and Styles responded by
slapping The King. Lawler shoved Joey down, sending him in retreat. The King
tried to get Styles to come back out with an apology, but he wasn’t willing to
accept.
“I’m going to show the whole world why for seven years I was considered the
loose cannon of commentary,” said an emotional Styles.
With that, Style passionately let out all of his frustrations, explaining that
he was sick of being lectured on the differences between pro wrestling and
sports-entertainment. He explained why he was sick of boogers, bathroom humor
and a Chairman who mocks “God”. But he also said he was sick of all of the fans
that buy into it. And just like that, Joey Styles quit as the play-by-play man
of RAW. What does this mean for the future of the RAW announce team? Who will be
doing play-by-play next week on RAW?
One thing that we do know about next week’s RAW is that Edge will face Mick
Foley in a WrestleMania Hardcore Rematch. Foley was the guest on the Cutting
Edge, and he thanked Edge for helping him have his WrestleMania moment. Foley
may have lost at WrestleMania, but according to the Hardcore Legend, his moment
came when he looked in Edge’s eyes after the match and knew he would never be
the same. Foley wanted the rematch right then and there, but he will have to
wait one more week.
With the Spirit Squad in charge on RAW, it should probably come as no surprise
that there was a Divas Cheerleader Match. Torrie Wilson and Maria teamed up to
take on Women’s Champion Mickie James and Victoria. Torrie and Maria may not be
the most-technically sound competitors inside the ring, but when it comes to
Cheerleader Matches, they’re a dream team. When Mickie tried to suplex Maria
into the ring, the injured Trish Stratus appeared from out of nowhere and
tripped up the Women’s Champion, allowing Maria to score the upset. An enraged
Mickie made Maria pay later in the evening when she attacked the bubbly Diva
during the Kiss Cam on WWE.com’s Unlimited.
Carlito & Rob Van Dam were victorious in tag team competition against Shelton
Benjamin & Chris Masters. Shelton was ready to use the steel chair, but former
tag team partner Charlie Haas came from out of the crowd and took away the
foreign object. Carlito then scored a roll up for the win.
Plus, Nicky, Johnny and Mikey of the Spirit Squad defeated Eugene, Snitsky &
Goldust of the “Odd Squad”. After the match Matt Striker attacked Eugene during
a backstage interview to get some revenge from Backlash. Striker was still
furious over being forced to ingest one of Eugene’s boogers on an edition of his
Classroom at the pay-per-view.
And the monstrous Umaga continued his streak of dominance with a brutal victory
over Rory Fox.
Matches
Maria & Torrie Wilson def. Women's Champion Mickie James & Victoria (Cheerleader Match)
WWE Champion John Cena def. Kenny
Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam & Carlito def. Chris Masters & Shelton Benjamin
Kane def. Rob Conway
Nicky, Mikey & Johnny def. Snitsky, Goldust & Eugene
Umaga def. Rory Fox