Raw is War
Las Vegas, Nevada
May 22, 2006
By Louie Dee
May 22, 2006
It was another unhappy ending to RAW for Mr. McMahon. While he partially got what he wanted (the Spirit Squad taking out Shawn Michaels), it was the actions of Triple H that Mr. McMahon didn’t enjoy.
As the night began, the WWE Chairman announced that Triple H needed to give him a meaningful and sincere public apology; if he failed to do so, there would be swift and vengeful retaliation on The Game. Triple H did apologize to McMahon, who accepted it on one condition: that when McMahon called for it, The Game come out during the main event and bash in Shawn Michaels’ skull with a sledgehammer.
Before the match, Michaels accosted Triple H in the back, accusing him of selling out. “I used to have respect for you, whether we were friends or enemies,” Michaels said, “until today, because you sold your soul to the devil.” The Game tried to defend himself, but HBK told him to “do what Mr. McMahon wants you to do, you sellout.”
When Michaels came out to face all five members of the Spirit Squad in the main event, Mr. McMahon chose to banish the referee from the ring. The World Tag Team Champions then proceeded to basically mug Michaels, using their numbers advantage. After a severe beating, however, Michaels fought back, sending the Squad flying. He nailed Mikey and Johnny each with both a chairshot and Sweet Chin Music, but as he tried the kick on Nicky, the cheerleader bashed him in the knee with the steel chair. The Squad then placed HBK’s knee into the folding chair, and Kenny dropped a vicious legdrop off the top rope onto Michaels’ exposed joint.
At that time, the Chairman called for Triple H, who came out to do his duty. As the Squad held Michaels in the corner, The Game sized up his former partner. However, before he could do the deed, Kenny stole the sledgehammer and said he would do it himself. Triple H was very angry about that, and blocked Kenny’s path. He then nailed him with a spinebuster, and it degenerated into a 5-on-1 attack on Triple H. The Game was able to overcome the Squad, eventually nailing Kenny with a Pedigree. As the show came to a close, Mr. McMahon stared down Triple H from the stage with a look of disdain and bewilderment on his face. So the question remains…since The Game never did hold up his end of the apology, does that mean that the Chairman will still enact swift and vengeful retaliation on him?
And also, what is the condition of Michaels’ knee? After the match, he was helped from the ring by the medical staff, and it appears that HBK’s knee is severely injured. The extent is unknown, but hopefully there will be an update on his condition in the near future.
This week, two matches were made for ECW One Night Stand on June 11. Mick Foley came out early in the night, dressed to the nines. He extolled the virtues of Edge’s hardcore credentials, and brought out the Rated-R Superstar. Foley said that Edge embodied all that is hardcore, as opposed to the slime from ECW, and awarded him the “un-retired” Hardcore Championship. Edge wouldn’t accept it, however, instead wanting Foley to have it. They looked as if they were going to fight, but the Rated-R Superstar instead had Lilian Garcia announce them as co-holders of the Hardcore Championship.
Finally, Paul Heyman emerged from the back to break up the love fest, telling Foley that he couldn’t believe the Hardcore Legend prostituted his legacy for a mutual admiration society with Edge & Lita. He then threw out a challenge for the “co-Hardcore Champions” to face any two of what Foley called “the slime that escaped from ECW” at One Night Stand. They initially refused, but after Heyman said that Lita had more balls than them, Edge accepted. The trio then came after Paul, who introduced them to their pay-per-view opponents: Tommy Dreamer & Terry Funk! The real hardcore duo attacked Edge & Foley with various weapons, sending the icons scurrying out of the arena.
The other match made for One Night Stand will be for the WWE Championship. On RAW, Rob Van Dam got a rematch for the Intercontinental Championship against Shelton Benjamin. RVD lost the gold last week in that controversial 2-on-3 Handicap Texas Tornado Match, and was looking for retribution. And during the match, RVD took it to the new champion, but Shelton came back and nailed RVD with a Samoan Drop. The challenger rolled into referee Chad Patton’s ankle on the move, allowing Shelton to grab his gold. He went to hit RVD with it, but the challenger nailed him with a modified Van Daminator. He went for the cover, but Patton called for the bell, disqualifying RVD for the foreign object use. Rightfully, RVD was furious, since he technically never possessed the weapon.
Later in the night, John Cena took on Chris Masters in a non-title match. On WWE.com Unlimited, Masters told Cena that his odds of winning a big jackpot were better than his odds of breaking the Master Lock. But in the end, it was Cena who made Masters tap out, using the STFU. RVD then came out, and told Cena that he was cashing in his briefcase. But instead of doing it right there, where he felt he would get screwed out of what he earned, he was going to do it on his own turf: the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City, home of ECW One Night Stand on June 11. After a brief staredown, the two exchanged blows, with Masters also getting involved. That distraction allowed RVD to grab his briefcase; he then tossed it into the Champ’s face and laid him out with another modified Van Daminator.
All the ECW excitement made the fans happy, but Jerry Lawler had a problem with it, running down ECW on WWE.com Unlimited and calling it “Extremely Crappy Wrestling.”
A new WWE Superstar was made on RAW as well. After Mickie James defeated Torrie Wilson in a non-title match, Trish Stratus came out on the stage. She told the Women’s Champion that she need not worry about Beth attacking her illegally anymore, because now she could do it legally. Stratus introduced Beth Phoenix as the newest RAW Diva, and Beth welcomed herself by attacking James and chasing her out of the arena. I can’t wait for Beth to be added to the Fantasy game; hell, she’s been in my personal fantasy for two weeks now.
Also on RAW, Kane finally revealed the horror of May 19. Kane told Todd Grisham that May 19 was the day his family perished in a fire, but now that it has passed and he has a successful movie, he was happy and the pain was over. The Big Red Monster told Grisham that he would inflict pain on Trevor Murdoch and make himself even happier.
Murdoch, playing the role of Ebert, gave his review of See No Evil, telling the fans that Tom Hanks (star of The Da Vinci Code, which also premiered on May 19) would win Best Actor over Kane. Obviously, that didn’t excite the Big Red Monster, who came out and destroyed Murdoch. He made quick work of him, pinning the southern brawler after a chokeslam, and then giving him two more for fun. While Murdoch was seeing stars, the voices came back, and a shadow of Kane’s old mask appeared on the TitanTron. The voice told Kane that this was just the beginning and it will never be over, and Kane looked perplexed as he left the ring.
Viscera had a bittersweet night on RAW as well. He came to the ring and called out Lilian Garcia. He told her it was time for him to settle down, so she reminded him that last time RAW was in Vegas (last July for Vengeance), Big Vis dumped her for Godfather’s ladies. The rotund sex panther apologized to Lilian, producing a cheeseburger from his pocket. Big Vis, who was both hungry and horny, asked the sultry RAW ring announcer to marry him, so he wouldn’t have to eat fast food anymore; however, before she could answer, they were interrupted by Armando Alejandro Estrada. He said that Umaga was also hungry, and the Samoan bulldozer came out to attack Big Vis. Eventually, Umaga got the best of the altercation, jabbing Big Vis in the throat with the Samoan Spike.
And in a “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” moment, Snitsky accidentally hit on his partner Goldust. It all started when he came up to Carlito, who was trying to convince Maria to help him cheat at poker. Hey, the “win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat” mantra worked for Jesse Ventura, why not Carlito? Anyway, Snitsky said that he had a showgirl coming to meet him, and Maria spotted one in the distance. The foot worshipper went over to the “lady,” insinuating that he wanted to give a foot massage. When he looked up and saw it was Goldust, both men were a little startled. Apparently, Goldust likes to dress up as a showgirl. As the two weirdos looked at each other, Carlito popped his head back in to remind everyone that what they just saw was in fact not cool.
While Goldust may enjoy dressing up like a woman, some real ladies will soon have an opportunity to strut their stuff on RAW, as it was announced that WWE is now accepting applications for the 2006 $250,000 Diva Search.
World Tag Team Champions The Spirit Squad vs.
Shawn Michaels (5-on-1 Handicap Match; No Contest)
WWE Champion John Cena def. Chris Masters (Non-Title Match)
Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin def. Rob Van Dam (DQ)
Women's Champion Mickie James def. Torrie Wilson (Non-Title Match)
Kane def. Trevor Murdoch