Raw is War
Rochester, New York
June 19, 2006
DX breaks it down
By Louie Dee
June 19, 2006
D-Generation X was back in the house in Rochester, and they certainly left their
mark all over Monday Night RAW.
As the show began, Mr. McMahon made his way to the ring to address his plan for
DX. As he left his office, however, he ran into a bunch of strange incidents.
From a man who had a rooster (because he heard Mr. McMahon loves cocks) to a
group of male strippers to a man delivering a penis-enlarger pump, the Chairman
got it all. When he finally got to the ring, his speech was quickly cut off by
Shane McMahon emerging from the back; when Shane told his father that sister
Stephanie was in labor, the Chairman was so hell-bent on getting back at DX that
he was hesitant to go. But after being coerced by Shane and cursing Stephanie
for having bad timing, the boss left Jonathan Coachman in charge.
From there, things just broke down. The Spirit Squad came out to interrupt a
match between Charlie Haas and Viscera that stemmed from Haas saying that Lilian
had accepted his apology for injuring her over some “pillow talk.” Big Vis
proceeded to destroy Haas, but the match never finished as the Squad ran in to
attack both men and call out DX. Triple H and Shawn Michaels popped up on the
TitanTron and said they’d come out when ready, but until then they had two
words…look up. When the Squad did, a waterfall of green paint dropped on them,
covering the World Tag Team Champions in liquid and embarrassing them.
DX then turned their focus to interim boss Jonathan Coachman. After apparently
desecrating his office, DX came in to talk to Coachman. Of course, they mocked
the poor Executive Assistant in the process, but soon seemed to change their
tune. Coachman told them they needed to reconsider their “plan” for tonight,
which seemed to bring HBK and The Game around. Instead, they put poor Coachman
through the wall head-first and then pulled down his pants to expose a very thin
thong. It was not a pretty sight for sure, so to spruce it up a bit, HBK and the
Game spray-painted DX on his exposed derriere.
Finally, it came time for DX to head to the ring for their official reunion. In
the back, the Spirit Squad tried to round up several RAW Superstars in the
locker room to help them combat DX, and they seemed in agreement; unfortunately,
seemed was the operative word.
DX came to the ring, and Triple H took the fans back by delivering his famous
“Let’s get ready to suck it!” line. Michaels then confessed that he was a bad
boy, saying that Stephanie being in labor was all a joke. He then asked Triple H
what kind of man would get her pregnant anyway, to which the quick-witted Game
replied “I don’t know, but he must be some kind of stud!”
HBK quickly changed the subject, shifting the focus to Vengeance. As he spoke
though, the Spirit Squad’s music interrupted him…and out came five little men
dressed as cheerleaders. DX shared a quick laugh and dispatched them, with The
Game lauding Shawn for his handiwork. Triple H had his own idea of what
cheerleaders should look like, bringing out four hot ladies to do a cheer. I
REALLY have to start hanging out with those guys more…anyway, after the cheer,
the ladies revealed the letters DX written on their bras. But just as The Game
tried to get them to flash their goodies, the perennial wet blankets that are
the World Tag Team Champions really did interrupt.
Out with them came a group of Superstars, from Umaga to Cade & Murdoch to Matt
Striker. When they charged the ring, however, the backup bailed, leaving the
Squad to fend for themselves. Poor Johnny and Mikey didn’t realize it, and once
they got in the ring they were toast. After a brief scuffle, Triple H pounded
Mikey into the mat with a Pedigree while Johnny got a little Sweet Chin Music.
DX then brought back the little people, telling the Squad they had two words for
them…which were suck it, of course, but instead of saying them, the little men
mooned the Squad and had the words written on their butt cheeks.
From the first minute to the last minute, it was clear that D-Generation X ruled
RAW once again like they did in the group’s heyday. They left their mark on RAW,
but can they do the same to the Spirit Squad at Vengeance?
As for poor Coachman, DX wasn’t the only nuisance he ran into. Coachman found
Paul Heyman in his office shortly after DX doused the Squad, and Heyman told the
interim boss that he had a busload of ECW rebels in the parking lot ready to
destroy RAW. Instead, Heyman negotiated with Coachman and got a match made for
ECW on Sci Fi: Edge & Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam & Kurt Angle. He also managed
to get a match between John Cena and Balls Mahoney made for RAW, and that’s
where the hardcore group did their damage.
Cena naturally made short work of Balls, making him tap out to the STFU. But as
Cena stalked Heyman, Sabu ran into the ring and tossed a chair at him. The
crazed ECW star then slammed Cena into the announce table and set up a chair in
the ring. With Cena prone, Sabu leaped and did a Triple Jump Legdrop onto the
former WWE Champion, putting them both through the table. A bloodied Cena then
had to be helped to the back as Sabu and Heyman ran out through the crowd.
That wasn’t ECW’s only appearance of the night. Edge took on Ric Flair later in
the show, with Mick Foley doing commentary. In the end, Flair brought Lita into
the ring, which distracted the referee; Foley jumped up on the apron and gave
Flair a Mandible Claw, which led into Edge nailing a spear for the win. When it
was over, however, WWE Champion Rob Van Dam ran into the ring and attacked Edge,
nailing the No. 1 Contender with a Five-Star Frog Splash. Both RVD and Sabu left
their Vengeance opponents beaten on RAW; will the same happen this Sunday night?
One RAW Superstar did have a response for ECW, however. After defeating Snitsky
with the RKO, Randy Orton offered some words of wisdom about ECW and Vengeance.
“Am I excited to go into an ECW ring tomorrow? No,” Orton said. “But as far as
Angle goes, either tomorrow night or Sunday night Kurt Angle will find out that
vengeance is mine.”
WWE.com Unlimited featured a couple of statements being made as well. In
Striker’s Classroom, Matt Striker gave his review of ECW. However, all he did
was chastise ECW for how they dress and what they do. Later, Lance Cade & Trevor
Murdoch came out to address the crowd and announce their intention to go for the
World Tag Team Championship. Cade said they were mad because they got no
respect, with Murdoch saying that when you make rednecks angry, bad things
happen.
Speaking of red things, it was announced that Kane would face his “impostor” at
Vengeance. In an interview with Jim Ross, the Big Red Monster said that he knew
exactly who it was and why he was stalking him. However, Kane said that growing
up, this person was more demented than even him, and when Jerry Lawler asked
Kane if he was afraid, all he could say was “you just don’t understand.” After
watching that, I can only wonder what frame of mind Kane will be in come
Vengeance.
It was also announced that Umaga would face Eugene at Vengeance, and the Samoan
Bulldozer gained momentum by destroying poor John McChesney. Hell, it could’ve
been Kenny Chesney; the poor kid didn’t stand a chance from the opening bell.
Estrada then tried to remind the crowd who he was, but as they chanted his name
along with him, Armando stopped and dropped the microphone disgustedly.
Later, Maria was backstage with Eugene, who tried to give her an update on
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. Realizing that was a nightmare waiting to happen, Rob
Conway interrupted to make fun of Duggan. That made Eugene snap, and he
clobbered poor Conway. After the scuffle Eugene looked worried, but then did a
little dance before leaving.
In another Vengeance related matter, Johnny Nitro and Shelton Benjamin defeated
Carlito in a Handicap Match. The match was made after Jonathan Coachman found
Carlito laughing about DX, and despite the Caribbean Superstar’s efforts, Nitro
stole the win with a roll-up and a handful of tights. Nitro and Benjamin argued
during and after the match, and after Nitro left Benjamin in the ring, Carlito
got a measure of revenge by nailing the Intercontinental Champion with a back
cracker. These three men all meet at Vengeance for the gold, and it’s sure to be
a volatile situation.
And speaking of volatile, Mickie James showed a little bit more of her psycho
side. Mickie & Candice won a Bra & Panties Match over Torrie Wilson & Maria,
with Mickie looking dominant. When Candice tried to celebrate with her, Mickie
knocked her partner down and stripped her as well. She then went to ringside and
stole Jim Ross’ hat, but as she went to leave, a fan heckled her. Mickie seemed
to snap, pulling the fan to the barrier and pulling off her shirt before
giggling and walking away. It appears as if Mickie is sicker than ever, and
based on what’s happened to Ashley, Trish Stratus and Beth Phoenix, I’d watch
out if I was around her.
Matches
Mickie James & Candice def. Torrie Wilson & Maria (Bra and Panties Match)
Viscera vs. Charlie Haas (No Contest)
Umaga def. John McChesney
John Cena def. Balls Mahoney
Randy Orton def. Snitsky
Johnny Nitro & Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin def. Carlito (Handicap Match)
Edge def. Ric Flair