WWE Raw is War
Moline, Illinois
November 6, 2006
Payback is a Dick
By Louie Dee
November 6, 2006
Eric Bischoff was given back control of RAW for one night only…and if the title
of his book Controversy Creates Cash is true, then the first RAW following Cyber
Sunday was a banker’s dream.
As the show opened, Edge & Randy Orton were in the ring gloating about their
victory over DX at Cyber Sunday when they introduced Bischoff. Bischoff revealed
that thanks to the “impressive” job he did as referee in that match, Mr. McMahon
made him RAW General Manager for the night. And following up on his previous
assignment, Bischoff’s first acts were to give John Cena the night off and ban
DX from the building. The interim GM then began to “reward” certain RAW
Superstars for past loyalty before being interrupted by the new World Tag Team
Champions, Ric Flair & Roddy Piper.
But when the new champions, who know all about Bischoff’s use of power from
their days in WCW, confronted the GM, they got a reward of their own: a
main-event No- Disqualification Match against Edge & Orton for the gold…with
Bischoff as the referee.
During the match, Bischoff clearly officiated in Edge & Orton’s favor, counting
fast during their pinfall attempts. However, the No-DQ stipulation would come
back to haunt him; after Bischoff was knocked down by Flair, Orton had the
“Nature Boy” in position for the RKO when DX stormed the ring. HBK delivered
some Sweet Chin Music to the Legend Killer, and substitute referee Mike Chioda
counted the winning pinfall for Flair.
That wasn’t all they had in store however. DX brought out Big Dick Johnson, and
after The Game nailed Bischoff with a Pedigree, the corpulent male stripper did
a little dancing. HBK and The Game then capped off the festivities by making
Eric Bischoff the first member of the Big Dick Johnson Kiss My Ass Club, proving
that while you can get them down, you can never truly count DX out.
One of the Superstars Bischoff rewarded was Johnny Nitro, who was given a chance
to regain the Intercontinental Championship from Jeff Hardy. During the match,
however, Melina’s interference led to Nitro being disqualified. Bischoff, in an
extra-giving mood, decided to have the match restarted under No-Disqualification
rules. With her interaction now legal, Melina interfered again by jumping on
Hardy’s back; he threw her off, but when he went for a Swanton Bomb, Nitro
pulled him down. One smash with the Intercontinental Championship later, Nitro
got the three count to regain the gold. Following the win, Nitro told WWE.com
exactly how he feels about Hardy.
“Let’s just say I’ve already talked to Paris, K-Fed and Ashton,” Nitro revealed,
“and they’re all stoked because nobody likes Jeff Hardy. He mistakes his
eccentricity for talent, of which he has none. He’s got no talent, no class, and
no looks…he’s nothing compared to Johnny Nitro.”
Bischoff wasn’t just in a rewarding mood however, as he doled out some
punishment as well. To punish the fans, he gave John Cena the night off…but like
DX, The Champ didn’t take his cue.
During RAW, Kevin Federline laid out a challenge to The Champ. With RAW live in
his hometown of Miami on New Year’s Day, K-Fed challenged Cena to a one-on-one
match at the American Airlines Arena on Jan. 1.
Later, as a “reward” for Maria’s involvement in his firing last December,
Bischoff forced the terrified Diva to either face Umaga or be fired herself.
Jonathan Coachman had to drag the frightened Maria to the ring, and as the bell
rang he tossed her to the Bulldozer. Umaga destroyed the poor Diva, but before
he could finish the job, Cena stormed to the ring and attacked the Samoan
Bulldozer. Armando Alejandro Estrada had to hold Umaga back as Cena raged in the
ring. Todd Grisham came out to interview The Champ, who explained his rage
before giving Grisham an FU and accepting K-Fed’s challenge.
“I have some advice for you,” the WWE Champion said about Federline. “Take that
$300 million you stole from Britney and buy yourself an army, navy and air
force…because that’s the only way you’ll make it out of Miami alive.”
The match is on, and before leaving, Cena said, “anyone who’s looking for a
fight…my name is John Cena. You want some? Come get some!”
The RAW announce team wasn’t safe from Bischoff’s wrath either. After Jim Ross
called Bischoff a “disgrace” during the broadcast, the GM sent Chris Masters to
the ring. It was revealed that J.R. was Masters’ opponent, but Jerry Lawler
stood up to the power-mad Bischoff. For his trouble, he was put into the match,
but forced to be handcuffed to the top rope or else get fired. Lawler abided by
the stipulation, but was easily thrashed by “The Masterpiece,” who forced “The
King” to submit to the Master Lock.
And if that isn’t bad enough, even his own family wasn’t safe from Bischoff’s
power trip. The GM made a match pitting his nephew Eugene & Hacksaw Jim Duggan
against the Spirit Squad, with the stipulation that the losing team must split
up forever. Both teams have had issues as of late, but in the end, Kenny &
Johnny kept the Squad together when Johnny pinned Duggan. After the match,
however, Eugene seemingly snapped, blindsiding his mentor and attacking the
Legend with his own 2x4. As Eugene stormed back to the locker room, the WWE fans
were only left to wonder why he had snapped.
Mickie James was also punished, but this was more of a collective punishment
from Bischoff and new Women’s Champion Lita. Lita, who defeated Mickie at Cyber
Sunday to claim the vacant gold, asked Bischoff to sanction a rematch…but she
had a plan. Once the match was set to begin, Lita revealed that Mickie would
have one arm tied behind her back. James protested, but had no choice; her arm
was tied up, making her easy prey for the Women’s Champion, who won the match
following a DDT.
Shelton Benjamin also had a bad night on RAW. Backstage, he confronted Carlito
about his winning the vote to face Jeff Hardy at Cyber Sunday, promising to show
Carlito in their match that the fans wasted their votes. However, come match
time, a distraction from Cryme Tyme cost Shelton the bout. As a perplexed
Benjamin looked on, Shad & JTG (who had joined Jim Ross on commentary) jacked
Shelton’s shirt, chain and sunglasses. The distraction allowed Carlito the
opportunity to nail Benjamin with the Back Cracker and pick up the win. See,
Cryme Tyme doesn’t just take…they give back to others as well.
Matches
Women's Champion Lita def. Mickie James
Umaga vs. Maria (No Contest)
Johnny Nitro def. Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy (new champion)
Johnny & Kenny def. Eugene & Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Carlito def. Shelton Benjamin
Chris Masters def. Jerry "The King" Lawler
World Tag Team Champions Ric Flair & Roddy piper def. Edge & Randy Orton