WWE Raw
Buffalo, New York
August 6, 2007
thanks to: wwe.com
Checkmate: Booker beats
Lawler in battle of kings
By Corey Clayton
August 6, 2007
BUFFALO, N.Y. – At first, it didn’t look like a kingly battle between monarchs.
It looked more like a Pier 6 brawl on Raw between WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The
King” Lawler and King Booker, both fighting for the right to be crowned by the
loser next week in the mecca of sports-entertainment, Madison Square Garden.
The Memphis legend’s famous powerful punches gave the six-time World Champion
all he could handle. Unfortunately, Queen Sharmell proved to be a royal pain in
Lawler’s neck, distracting The King long enough to allow Booker to deliver his
patented Scissors Kick and score the crowning pinfall.
By stipulation, Lawler will have to swallow his pride and begrudgingly place a
crown upon King Booker’s head in a Royal Coronation ceremony next Monday on Raw.
Prior to the match, Booker again berated SummerSlam’s returning “King of Kings,”
Triple H, as a pretender to the throne.
Also returning was WWE’s Chairman of the Board, Mr. McMahon, who made the night
a memorable one. To Acting General Manager Jonathan Coachman’s dismay, Mr.
McMahon ordered a company-wide Battle Royal to determine a new Raw commissioner,
which was won by former WWE Commissioner William Regal.
Regal faked an injury to slip outside the ring early in the Battle Royal, then
snuck in as Sandman thought he won the match and clobbered the ECW Original to
earn the win. Mr. McMahon cold-comforted Coachman after the match by naming him
Regal’s new Executive Assistant. Watch the video...
Throughout the night, Mr. McMahon launched tirades against the United States
Congress, the media, his family members and WWE Superstars who showed no
sympathy for the Chairman, who admitted to faking his own death months ago to
see who really appreciated him. He swore to become a better man, and to reunite
his family that had been splintered by the limo explosion.
McMahon’s psyche further splintered as he was informed that he was the subject
of an Internal Revenue Service audit. Capping off the Chairman’s night of bad
karma was news of a paternity suit against him, claiming that he sired an
illegitimate child – another potential heir to the McMahon empire.
In other Raw action, Carlito invited WWE Champion John Cena into “Carlito’s
Cabana” for an interview, but The Champ took over, making the show his own.
After conducting an interview with himself and delivering a Letterman-esque Top
3 list, he pummeled the Caribbean Superstar who defeated him the week before and
spit apple chunks in his face. Cena’s SummerSlam opponent, Randy Orton, chose
the moment to try a sneak attack on The Champ, but Cena fended him off, then
lifted Carlito up for the FU.
New Raw GM William Regal intervened and ordered Carlito and Orton to decide
between themselves who would face Cena in Raw’s main event. But, since Regal
didn’t specify it had to be them specifically, the cunning pair chose the
Intercontinental Champion, Umaga, to face Cena in a non-title match, to the
delight of the new GM.
During the match between the two champions, Orton and Carlito tried to attack
Cena, but made the mistake of provoking the Samoan Bulldozer in the process, who
threw the pair from the ring. GM Regal then announced that Carlito and Orton
would face Cena and Umaga in an epic tag-team match on Raw next Monday at
Madison Square Garden.
Regal’s other action for the evening was to re-create the popular American game
show, The Dating Game, and live out his childhood dream to be a game show host.
WWE Diva Maria had the opportunity to choose between “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Ron
Simmons, and Santino Marella.
Despite Marella’s pleadings and coercion, Maria chose Simmons to the delight of
the HSBC Arena crowd. Marella demanded that Maria come with him, but ran away
scared when Umaga made his way to the ring for the next match.
Pop star wannabe Jillian Hall defeated Mickie James with an impressive show of
power. But prior to her match, Jillian Hall mocked Raw ring announcer Lilian
Garcia, who has a new album coming out this fall.
Despite the crowd’s pleas to hear Lilian preview a track from her CD, Jillian
went on to give her ear-splitting rendition of a Britney Spears song, as Lilian
winced in the corner of the ring. After Hall’s win, the pop star stared down the
Raw ring announcer, who stared back uneasily from ringside.
Mr. Kennedy came to the ring to boast about his defeat of the Dominator, Bobby
Lashley, who is undergoing surgery Tuesday on his injured shoulder. He claimed
that Lashley could still hear “KENNEDYYYYYYY” ringing in his ears after the
loss, and reiterated his claim that he should be the No. 1 contender for the WWE
Championship.
Continuing his path of rage Monday night, Raw’s deranged giant, Snitsky,
defeated Rory McAllister of The Highlanders. In just under a minute, Snitsky
pumphandle-slammed Rory to the mat and scored the pinfall.
Matches
William Regal wins company-wide Battle Royal to become Raw Commissioner
Jillian Hall def. Mickie James
Snitsky def. Highlander Rory McAllister
King Booker def. Jerry "The King" Lawler
WWE Champion John Cena def. Intercontinental Champion Umaga in a non-title match (disqualification)