Raw
Spokane, Washington
February 16, 2009
results thanks to pwtorch.com
The show started with a quiet arena.
Lilian Garcia then introduced Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero to a chorus of boos.
Vickie then introduced the new World Hvt. champion, Edge, who stole the belt
from John Cena at No Way Out last night. Edge and Vickie then grasped hands and
Edge wobbled onto stage before his pyro shot off. They entered the ring. Jerry
Lawler confirmed that John Cena is no longer the World Hvt. champion despite
knocking out Kofi Kingston last night to take his spot in the Raw Chamber.
Edge said Rated R stands for remarkable tonight. Or resplendent. Or really,
really smart. Edge said he could have gone home and cried about losing the WWE
Title in the opening Chamber match, but he took matters into his own hands. He
could have been like the fans: "Big fat, failure turtles" and crawled into their
shells. Edge said the fans told him he's a loser after the opening match, but
they were all wrong. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Edge then jumped out of the ring and jumped around telling everyone they're
wrong. Where's Pepe the imaginary stick for that horse ride? He stopped at one
kid on the front row and told him he'll grow up to be wrong his entire life. Kid
smiled. Pops booed. Edge said Jesus turned water into wine (Jesus's first
recorded miracle), but he turned the WWE Title into the World Hvt. Title.
Vickie took the mic and said Stephanie took Shane to the hospital during last
night's show, which made her the highest-ranking authority figure in WWE. And
so, she had to make a decision to find a suitable replacement for Kofi. And no
one is more deserving than her husband, Edge. Back to the Board of Directors,
who confirmed Vickie's decision that Edge is officially the World Hvt. champion.
Boos. He said each and every one of them might not like it, but they will accept
it. Cue up the big mid-ring liplock between storyline hubby and wife.
On cue, John Cena's music interrupted and Cena came out on stage to a huge pop.
Once in the ring, Cena adjusted his cap and looked at his World Title belt
resting on Edge's shoulder. Cena paused for the "Cena, Cena" chant before
thanking them. Cena said they might not like what he says next.
"Congratulations," he told Edge. Cena said how Edge got into that match is
irrelevant because the fact is Edge won fair and square. He can't say he likes
it, but congrats. Cena very calm before officially proclaiming Edge the new
World champ.
Cena said he's remarkable, really really lucky, right place right time, and ...
re-match. Crowd like that one. Edge furrowed his eyebrow. He said he competed in
two Chamber matches last night, so he's not competing tonight. Maybe not for a
week. Maybe not even a month. If you want to see Edge in the ring, check him out
on Smackdown. Cena said he understands that. He wants Edge fresh. Cena told Edge
to tell Festus and Funaki to say hello. He then threw up in his mouth a little
bit thinking about Edge and Vickie doing whatever they do on Smackdown.
Cena said he officially does have a re-match against officially the World champ.
Edge said he forgot all about that little Cena wit. Maybe he forget the history.
Let's refresh it back to when Edge cashed in MITB to win his first WWE Title
from Cena. (New Year's Resolution 2007.) Or when he went to Cena's home and
slapped his old man. Edge then took Cena's line that the champ is here. Edge did
the You Can't See Me wave in front of Cena, then he tried to walk off, but Cena
yanked him back. Cena said if Edge tries to hide, he'll find him. You try to
run, and I'll catch you. "We're going to fight, and I'm going to hurt you," Cena
said. He shoved him away, then Edge stared back at him. Cue up Cena's music as
Edge dipped out of the ring. Edge and Vickie dipped out as Michael Cole recapped
everything from last night's main event.
[Q2]
Backstage: They showed Shane McMahon staring into the hard camera. He said he's
proposing the following to Randy Orton: meet me in the ring to end this tonight.
No Cody, no Ted, no Legacy. Shane said it ends tonight. My goodness, how can I
get his rejuvenating power to recover from a brutal beating and a trip to the
hospital to look completely fresh and unscraped? Is he chugging JBL's secret
potion?
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Cryme Tyme was already in the ring for the opening six-man tag match.
Intercontinental champion C.M. Punk then came out as their tag partner. William
Regal came out as the first part of the heel trio, followed by Cody & Teddy of
Legacy.
1 -- PRICELESS (CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE, JR.) & WILLIAM REGAL (w/Layla) vs.
CRYME TYME (SHAD GASPAR & JTG) & IC champion C.M. PUNK
Crow firmly behind Punk to start things off. Punk had his right elbow heavily
taped, and he quickly delivered a kick to the face on Cody. Punk then nailed the
Go 2 Sleep about 45 seconds into the match before making a cover, but Regal
broke it up. DiBiase dragged Cody to the outside and they cut to break with the
heels retreating.
[Commercial Break]
They returned from break with Punk kicked Regal off the apron, but DiBiase
nailed Punk from behind to smash him through the ropes to the floor. Regal then
rolled Punk back into the ring to allow DiBiase to work on Punk. Layla
encouraged Regal to kill Punk, but Punk fought back with a kick strike. Regal
answered with a knee to the face before Cody tagged in and sold a jaw injury
from the G2S earlier in the match.
[Q3]
At 7:30, JTG took the hot tag, but his offense was short-lived as DiBiase and
Cody quickly took out JTG mid-ring. DiBiase then dropped JTG with the Dream
Street - a Cobra Clutch Russian legsweep. He made the cover for the decisive
win.
WINNERS: Priceless & Regal at 8:10. Okay match. Cryme Tyme report card - no
pre-match ring intro, Shad had virtually zero TV time, and JTG's comeback was
cut off very quickly. Meanwhile, IC Title feud of Punk vs. Regal continues to
flounder. (*1/4)
Backstage: Stephanie McMahon was chewing out Shane McMahon for challenging Orton
to a fight tonight. She tried to talk Shane into thinking clearly after spending
the night in the hospital. Shane said this is happening tonight whether Orton
wants it or night. He walked off, leaving Steph quite frustrated.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Chris Jericho was in the ring out of the break sporting a suit. He
looked very upset and shared his stare with the crowd ringside. Jericho said the
Academy Awards are this Sunday, so he is imploring the voters not to vote for
Mickey Rourke. See, if he wins, that could send a message to all of the "Hall of
Famers" and "washed up, hasbeen losers" who are leeching off this business. He
said he knows why the fans "respect" the legends and enable them because they
are like the fans: weak, shallow, insecure human beings. Jericho said they need
to be shut up and shut down for their own good. Suddenly, Roddy Piper's music
interrupted.
Piper walked out on stage looking tan (in a healthy way) with a little more
volume to his hair. Piper, who made a name for himself in the Northwest, asked
the music to be cut. He said he's going to shoot with Jericho on the truth.
Piper said he's watched Jericho his entire career and he likes him. Tell you
why. Jericho says what's on his mind, then you have the guts to come in the ring
and back it up. Now, you get on TV and call out Flair and himself. What happened
to being entertaining? Piper accused Jericho of patronizing the fans, then told
him to shut the hell up.
Jericho told Piper to keep dancing on a string for these fans. Piper interrupted
that he's not finished. He said Rourke is his friend and he watched his movie,
"The Wrestler." Piper said he cried. The movie is not about a bunch of
old-timers that want another run, he said. He said the movie is about the honor
and respect we have for everyone. Piper said it's about the physical and
emotional pain. Most of all, most important, they do what they do for the thrill
of performing.
Piper...is...taking...his...time...delivering...this...promo. Piper said Flair
was right that they live for this. He said fans come up to Piper and say they
remember watching Piper slap Mr. T and shave Adrian Adonis's head. Chris, you
want to bury these moments. No, these moments are to be celebrated. Piper said
last year, he was in the Royal Rumble in MSG. He said 24,000 people jumped to
their feet and for one second, he felt like he was back at the first
WrestleMania. 24,000 in MSG? Must be on the "WWE scale of over-exaggeration" of
saying WrestleMania 3 drew over 94,000.
[Q4]
Piper shook his head remembering the good ol' times. He said he might have one
good hip and he might hurt all the time, but he'll crawl out here on his hands
and knees to give the fans one more memorable moment. Cause "old school's cool,"
he said. Jericho looked down at the mat, then kneed him in the groin before
pie-facing Piper. Lawler was indignant on commentary. Jericho screamed down at
Piper to crawl on his knees. Jericho kicked Piper again, then unbuttoned his
jacket and left the ring. Big heel heat on Jericho. Lawler said this might be
the worst thing he's ever seen on Raw. He called Jericho a complete jerk.
Caldwell's Analysis: I think Piper was trying to win the Place Your Bet
challenge for longest talking segment of the show dragging out his words on the
promo. (Came in just short of the opening segment.) Still, that made for a great
promo exchange leading to Jericho regaining his momentum as a top heel. Piper
remained coherent during the promo after warming up in the first two minutes, so
it made for a very nice exchange. Looking forward to seeing what WWE actually
does with Jericho, Flair, Rourke, Piper, et al. To make it clear, I thought
Piper's emotion was spot-on and his promo delivery was very effective to set up
his major points. It just took some time to get there.
Backstage: Todd Grisham brought in Randy Orton for a word on Shane's challenge.
Orton said he has no problem fighting Shane, but he has a problem with the
implication that he needs Cody and Teddy to do his dirty work. They won't be
there tonight and if Shane wants a fight until someone isn't moving, then he can
make that happen. Orton stared off into space in deep thought.
[Commercial Break]
WrestleMania recall: They went back to WrestleMania 9. Why?!?!?! Showed Jim Ross
debuting in WWE sporting a toga. And then Hulk Hogan pulling an Edge by taking
the WWE Title from Yokozuna after Bret Hart lost it in the main event. Good
times.
In-ring: Jamie Noble smiled after watching the clip, then talked about the day
after No Way Out being so important kicking off the road to WrestleMania. He
said he's never been in Money in the Bank, but when Noble gets his big Mania
moment, he won't fumble. Noble said Chavo Guerrero only made it nine seconds
last year and this year... Cue up Kane's pyro explosion music, who was the
perpetrator of the nine-second match last year. Ya know, it's almost been an
hour and we've had one match.
2 -- KANE vs. JAMIE NOBLE
Boot. Chokeslam. Pin. Kane made the cover for the win. Lawler had 16 seconds. I
had 15.2 seconds on the stopwatch. Winner for Shortest Match of the night.
WINNER: Kane at 0:15. Well, nearly an hour of TV and still less than ten minutes
of TV. And almost half of that occurred during the commercial.
Backstage: JBL was shown walking around sporting a huge shiner over his right
eye. He looked very upset with things. And he has a major announcement
concerning Shawn Michaels tonight.
Caldwell's Observation: I sure hope the second hour of the show delivers some
semblance of WrestleMania direction. Edge-Cena left the show kinda hanging there
like, okay, well, something may or may not happen somewhere at some time,
perhaps, but maybe on Smackdown, okay maybe not. Throw in another round of
SuperShane vs. Orton and we're looking at a directionless episode of TV barring
a very strong second hour. Let's see how it goes.
[Commercial Break]
ECW plug: Christian returned to ECW. And he return yielded immediate...impact.
heavy emphasis on the word Impact.
[Q5 -- second hour]
In-ring: Just a minute before the top of the second hour, JBL's limo pulled up
and JBL stepped out of the ring looking down on his luck with a busted lip and
shiner over his right eye. JBL took the mic and said as of last night, Shawn
Michaels is no longer his employee. His people wrote Michaels a very hefty check
last night and he is now financially stable. ... And he could care less. JBL
said people may call Michaels rich, but he is still wealthy because he has more
money than any of the people in this arena.
JBL said he hired Michaels to get him to WrestleMania 25 as the conquering hero,
but after No Way Out last night, he had an epiphany. Those goals were too small,
you see. JBL said his goals are much grander and are about immortality because
he believes he has a date with destiny at WrestleMania. Something no one has
ever done and that is to end The Streak. JBL wants The Undertaker. His date with
destiny is to go to WrestleMania and defeat Taker. And there, it will be known
he is the greatest wrestler of all-time.
Not so fast, said Shawn Michaels's music. Michaels came out on stage fired up
and back to the old Michaels dancing in the streets. Michaels came into the ring
and danced on the ring apron before tossing away his Cowboy hat. JBL still had
his on. Michaels smiled in JBL's face as the fans chanted "H-B-K." A little
Scott Hall look from Michaels. He said last night, he had an epiphany too.
Michaels said he can't spell it, but he had one of those. He is no longer Shawn
Michaels employee of the month or struggling, conflicted family man. You are
looking at the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, the headliner, the showstopper,
the main event.
Michaels said more importantly, you are looking into the eyes of Mr.
WrestleMania. Free at last, free at last. Michaels said a man said to him last
month at the Royal Rumble that it's hell to get to heaven. He said now standing
here looking toward WrestleMania, he realized he's living heaven on earth. As
far as he can tell, there is no better someone to face The Undertaker than the
man who revolutionized the ladder match, wrestled for over an hour and won the
WWE Title, the man who had the Match of the Year 2008 against Flair, and since
it's only a two-hour show, he's going to stop right there.
Michaels said if there's anyone who should face Taker at WM 25, you're looking
at him. JBL sneered in Michaels's face, then said being able to pay your bills
has given Michaels a little resurgence in his manhood. Beating Taker at WM is
his destiny, not Shawn's, said JBL. Michaels reminded JBL he can't tell him what
to do anymore, so here's his proposition. Next week: Michaels vs. JBL and the
winner gets Undertaker at WrestleMania to beat The Streak. JBL smirked, then
slowly said he accepts.
Michaels smiled. Looks like they're doing business one more time, he said. And
just so you know, it's going to be a little bit different. When he pushes him,
he's going to push back. Michaels poked JBL on the chest several times while
proclaiming Michaels vs. Taker at WrestleMania. He had one final parting shot
that JBL will be lucky to even make it to Mania. Michaels started to leave, then
returned to poke JBL in the chest a few more times for good measure. Michaels
left and celebrated on stage while JBL sneered at him from inside the ring.
Video package: IED reference tonight, as they recapped the Orton-McMahon feud
following Orton punting Vince in the head before the Royal Rumble. Lonnnnng
video package.
Backstage: They showed Shane McMahon warming himself up preparing for his
whooping.
[Q6]
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Rey Mysterio's music hit and Rey came out as Michael Cole described
Rey's WrestleMania quality performance last night. Rey limped out on stage
sporting a black biker looking get-up. After zero hype on the show, it's Rey vs.
Mike Knox.
3 -- REY MYSTERIO vs. MIKE KNOX
Bell sounded and Knox kicked Rey in the gut to put a beating on sore Rey. Knox
wanted a shoulderbreaker, but Rey slipped out only to take a big knock-down
clothesline. Knox then chucked Rey over the top rope to inflict more pain,
cutting to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Rey was still taking a beating out of the break. Rey tried a comeback, but Rey
snapped off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a two count. Rey recovered on the
floor, but Knox chased him back into the ring to whip Rey hard into the corner
turnbuckle. Lots of talk about Rey taking such physical punishment like no one
else in WWE history. Knox stalked Rey, who fought back with kicks to the body
before Knox stomped him with a boot to the gut. Knox slowly picked up Rey, then
put him in a bearhug at 8:00.
Rey escaped by twisting over Knox's body into a drop toehold that took Knox to
the middle rope. Rey hit the 619, then wanted a springboard smash, but Knox
ducked before hanging Rey upside down in the corner. Knox landed body blows on
Rey before a referee reprimand took him back into the corner. Knox tried to
charge Rey for a smash, but Rey back-flipped to avoid him, then Rey rolled up
Knox from behind for the pin and the win. Announcers were shocked. Knox stood
motionless in the ring trying to figure out what happened.
WINNER: Rey at 9:45. Nice victory for Rey. We keep thinking it's the blow-off
match to this feud, but perhaps there will be yet another Knox vs. Rey match
down the line considering Knox had this one won a few times. This wasn't
half-bad for Knox, who is developing a certain big-man charisma that's subtle
and effective. (*1/2)
[Q7]
Backstage: They showed Beth, Rosa, and Santino preparing for Beth's Women's
Title match.
[Commercial Break]
4 -- Women's champion MELINA vs. BETH PHOENIX (w/Santino Marella and Rosa
Mendes) -- Women's Title match
After Rosa and Santino tried to interfere, the babyface divas stormed ringside
to attack Beth on the floor. Melina took advantage by pinning Beth back in the
ring to retain the Women's Title. Hopefully this will lead to a blow-up of Team
Glamarella. The program has been losing steam for weeks.
WINNER: Melina at 3:15. Standard divas match. Not much time allotted for a
competitive bout. (*)
2009 Hall of Fame: They announced Terry and Dory Funk as the next round of
inductees to follow Steve Austin. Plenty of footage and still photos from the
territory era. Old-school clips of Terry and Dory winning the NWA Title. Shot of
Eddie Graham sitting next to Terry. They'll be inducted by Dusty Rhodes.
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
ECW plug: ECW champ Jack Swagger & Mark Henry against Finlay & Christian.
Announcers: Cole and Lawler talked up Edge winning Raw's World Title last night.
They talked about Cena talking re-match in the opening segment. Cue up a recap
of the opening promo.
Backstage: Stephanie was on the phone again asking that person to hurry up and
save Shane McMahon from going through with this deal against Randy Orton. She
lost the connection on the phone, then chucked the phone down and sat down on
the couch in dismay.
[Commercial Break]
Announcers: They plugged Michaels vs. JBL on next week's show with the winner
getting The Undertaker at WrestleMania 25.
In-ring: Shane McMahon danced out on stage in his street clothes. No limp. No
sign of pain from last night. He was even chewing on some gum. The man is
impervious to pain. Is he human? He is the son of Vince. Randy Orton's music
hit, then Orton strolled out on stage covered in grease. Shane grew tired of how
long it took Orton to come to the ring, so Shane met him on the floor for their
unsanctioned fight. There was an exchange of haymakers, then they spilled to the
front row of the stands. Shane flew off the guardrail with a clothesline that
knocked down Orton, then he landed a straight right hand.
They brawled to the production area near the hard camera area, using various
computer equipment as weaponry. An iMac was nearly used as a TV monitor. Orton
knocked Shane back over the guardrail near the announce table, where he rammed
Shane head-first into the table. Shane took a blow to the ring steps, then Orton
kicked him on the back and face. They entered the ring where Orton began toying
with Shane by stomping him repeatedly. Camera focused on Orton's face as a hint
of drool slowly left his chin. Wonderful. Orton knocked Shane to the outside.
[Q9 -- over-run]
At the top of the hour, Orton continued the assault on Shane. Lawler said that's
enough, then Shane suddenly SuperShaned and tackled Orton across the announce
table. He started landing those right hand blows before using the announce table
chair to knock around Orton. Shane, sweating like crazy, then picked up the
ringbell and cracked it over Orton's head. Announcers were silent during most of
this, allowing front row fans to add their commentary. Shane then rolled Orton
inside the ring and put him in position for the coast-to-coast. Except, Shane
put a chair in front of Orton instead of a trashcan.
Shane went to the opposite corner, shook off the pain he was feeling, then set
up for Coast to Coast, only to have DiBiase and Rhodes storm the ring and put a
beat down on Shane. Cheaters! Cole said Orton supposedly didn't need their help.
This time, they put a beating on Shane including Cody hitting his spin-out
facebuster. Orton then came to life and slowly walked over to Shane's lifeless
body. He looked at his boys to give them non-verbal instructions, then Orton
slowly backed up. He measured Shane for The Punt and connected square in the
head. Shane went numb, then rolled onto his back. SuperShane would have no-sold
and popped to his feet.
Stephanie McMahon then ran out to the ring and checked on Shane, whose eyes were
rolling in the back of his head. Steph checked on Shane, then medics hit the
ring to check on her brother. With IED flashing in his eyes, Orton slowly walked
over to the scene. Shane was put on a back brace as Orton slowly peered down.
Steph then stood up to plead with Orton not to do any more damage. He suddenly
snapped and hit the RKO on Steph. Orton snapped out of his IED and backed away
to the ring ropes to observe the scene.
Triple H then stormed the ring without any music and went right to Stephanie to
check on his wife. Hunter was in street clothes and surveyed the scene while
Orton and his cronies slowly made their way on stage. Hunter then had this
intense, intense look of pain, anger, near-tears, and Hogan-hulking-up written
on his face. Very much made for a WWE video package. Orton realized he did some
damage and his face retreated. They closed with everyone KO'ed except for
Hunter, who stared at Orton on stage looking to kill him. There's your WM main
event for Orton cashing in his Royal Rumble title victory.