St. Louis, Missouri
August 17, 2009
results thanks to pwtorch.com
-Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler opened the show as the camera panned the St. Louis crowd. They plugged Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton & John Cena for tonight. Also, DX will be live tonight.
-Lilian Garcia introduced Freddie Prinze, Jr. He came out slapping hands and hugged Lilian. He got on the mic as the crowd gave him polite applause. Prinze said that, like all the fans, he’s a life-long WWE fan. He bragged about his hundreds of action figures, collection of Coliseum Videos and the Ice Cream bars that would make you vomit if you ate them. Freddie seemed really giddy about being in charge. He said, though, it’s about what the fans want. With Summerslam around the corner, Prinze said he was going to start things early. He said both the Divas Championship and United States Championship would be defended tonight. He also said tonight marks the return of Degeneration X. He said he wasn’t finished, but some 70s cop music interrupted. Oh, sorry, it’s scary music. Out walked a guy with a hook and a black trenchcoat. Ah, it’s the bad guy from “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” Jeez, HOW long ago was that now? The dude took the mic and in a gravelly voice, told Prinze he knows what he did last summer and he knows what he’s going to do this summer. He’s going to.....and then Santino took off the hat and said he was going to put him in one of his movies. Santino talked about his script and showed off his evil acting ability.
Santino also said he could be in a romantic comedy, and some trademark romantic comedy music played. Santino put glasses and a wig on and said, “oh, I’m obviously a nerd.” “She’s All That” is the movie he’s referencing here. Santino then took off his wig and glasses and said that now he’s a hunk. Prinze said he thought it was good, but he needs a little help. Santino said he needs something more current- how about a partner for Freddie in the upcoming season of “24"? Santino took off his cut-off and had a CPU jacket on. He went to Lilian and asked her where she put the bomb, pretty much interrogating her. Crowd helpfully clapped for his performance. Santino told him to call Kiefer and his wife, the werewolf killer (Buffy, The Vampire Slayer was what he was looking for). Freddie told Santino he had to practice backstage, like, for the next two hours. Marella quickly ran backstage, happy that Freddie was apparently happy with his performance. “At least it wasn’t a Scooby Doo joke” Freddie said. Prinze said he had one more thing, and started talking up the main event- but Randy Orton interrupted.
Orton reminded everyone that he’s teaming up tonight with the person he faces on Sunday. He said he didn’t like it, and won’t do it. In fact, he said he doesn’t feel like competing at all tonight. Prinze reminded Orton that tonight, he’s in his hometown. Orton said he’s not here to please the people and said he has nothing in common with any of them. He said it’s about him. “You suck” chants. Orton asked again that Prinze take him out of the match. “Do I look like Seth Green to you? Do I look like Jeremy Piven?” Prinze told him not to bully him. Prinze said the match is still on. Orton grabbed Prinze and was about to give him his famed back-breaker- he paused, but did it anyway. “RKO, RKO” chants by some in the crowd. Referees and medics checked on Prinze, who was holding his neck while down on the mat. Orton stared at his handiwork from the ramp. That segment felt twice as long as it really was (about 16 minutes), and I couldn’t done without Santino’s dated references.
-They showed a replay of Prinze getting pwn3d by Orton. They also showed him being helped out of the ring, in a lot of pain, during the break. Jerry Lawler, on behalf of WWE, apologized for what happened. Cole said Prinze had been taken to a nearby medical facility and they hoped to get an update on his condition.
1- KOFI KINGSTON vs. CARLITO- UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
They showed parts of Carlito and Kofi’s mixed-tag match from Superstars this past week. In fact, Carlito’s partner in that match, Rosa Mendes, came to the ring with him. Kingston, after a shoulderblock, got a quick cover for two. Carlito stopped short after hitting the ropes, and nailed Kofi from behind. He then knocked him out of the ring as they went to break.
Carlito had Kofi grounded out of break, and about five minutes into the match. The two men traded rights in the middle of the ring, but Carlito came back with a big boot for two. Carlito continued his aggressive streak, laying the boots into Kofi in the corner. Back elbow for two. Kingston fought out of a chin-lock and got a side-Russian leg sweep. Side roll for two. Kingston did his “boom, boom, boom” legdrop for two. Springboard cross-body for two by Kofi. Kingston tried to lift Carlito up for something, but it didn’t work- he went for an uppercut and got two. High cross-body, but Carlito rolled through and got two. Kingston’s Trouble in Paradise got only two. Carlito missed a clothesline and Kofi hit the Trouble in Paradise for the win.
WINNER: Kingston, at 9:20. Hot match. Fun, too. Both men had their working boots on tonight.
-Cole reminded viewers that DX will re-unite tonight. Cameras were in the parking lot waiting for their arrival.
-They showed downtown St. Louis as Cole talked about tonight’s Raw. Lawler and Cole threw it to a package of DX’s Greatest Hits.
-They showed the WWE.com voting question of the night- can Cena and Orton beat Big Show and Jericho tonight? Never bet against Cena.
-Miz came out for a match; he now has regular tights with the yin/yang symbol on them. They showed how he got his second chance on Raw last week as The Calgary Kid. On the mic, he said he’s got a new lease on his Raw life, a new look but the same ol’ Miz. He said he’s back on his quest to be the new United States Champion. He’s the Miz, he’s awesome. He faces Evan Bourne next.
2- THE MIZ vs. EVAN BOURNE
Miz went to town right at the outset, taking Bourne to the corner and straight whupping him. They did a criss-cross that ended when Bourne hit a flying forearm. Dropkick in the corner by Bourne for two. Bourne missed a charge thought and Miz hit a clothesline that nearly took Evan out of his boots. Miz took Bourne to the mat and really stretched him out, hooking him at the elbows and pulling back on his arms while sitting on his back. Bourne tried to get to the ropes once he was on his feet, but Miz slammed him into the buckle anyway. Corner clothesline from Miz. He went to the top, but Bourne hit him with a spinning heel kick as Miz came down, but Miz got his hands up. To the outside Miz went, and Bourne flew onto him. Miz got kicked by Bourne while he was in the ring, and Bourne came back with a flying head-scissors and a standing moonsault for two. He got an inside cradle for two. Knee to the face, then Bourne went to the top. Miz tripped him, though it looked like Bourne sat down first. He got Evan up for the Electric Chair but brought him down and hit his finisher, the Skull Crushing Finale according to Lawler, for the win.
WINNER: Miz, at 4:50. About as good as you can get for an under-five minute match. Disappointing that one man had to lose, but I think they put the right guy over- after jerking Miz around for the last few weeks, he needed a legit win.
-Apparently, the arrival of DX is imminent. But all that was in the parking lot was a guy driving a forklift. “Next?” was the graphic on the screen.
-Lawler thanked Aerosmith for “You Gotta Move,” the official theme song of Summerslam.
-Cole once again talked about Cena & Orton vs. Jericho & Show.
-Lawler said the arrival of DX is minutes away. They showed Triple H trying to bring Michaels back last week.
-Back to the parking lot, a white limo with DX spray-painted on the hood and the sides drove up. Trips walked out, in full DX regalia. Shawn didn’t exit the limo with him, but he thought he did. Hunter tried to talk Shawn out of the limo, and ended up pulling him out. Shawn finally agreed to do this. The two of them talked about walking to the ring when they came upon Jillian Hall and Alicia Fox. Jillian tried to sing the DX theme song, but Hunter put a plastic garbage can over her head to stop her. They continued walking and Shawn said it’s good to be home. Hunter said there’s always some idiot waiting to jump out and do something stupid. On cue, Santino, as CTU agent, jumped out from the side and asked them where the bomb was. Shawn superkicked him.
-Back to the arena- the DX music started to play and the fans seemed psyched. As Shawn and Hunter came to the ring with their DX glowsticks, and can state that absence does NOT always make the heart grow fonder. “They’re baaack!” said King after Lilian announced them. The entrance took quite some time as the world’s oldest teenagers goofed around a bit in the ring. Great sign in the crowd- a picture of Michael Cole with a word bubble that said, “Vintage!” inside. Crowd chanted “DX, DX” when Hunter got the mic. He asked Shawn if it was good to be back. “God help me, I love this stuff!” was Shawn’s response. Trips did the “Are you ready?” bit. But then Legacy (sans Orton) ran out from the crowd and attacked before the crowd could properly respond to the question. They threw Triple H into the ring steps and assaulted Michaels in the ring. After about five seconds of selling the shot into the stairs, Triple H came back into the ring and started fending them off, but they took his knee out and he had to sell some more. They took Shawn’s boot off and Cody hit Triple H, then Shawn, in the head with the heel of the boot. DiBiase got the mic and told Hunter that yes, they ARE ready. Cute. Good beat-down for them heading into Summerslam. They needed all the momentum they could get, and credit WWE, they allowed them to spoil DX’s return.
-They showed DX getting attacked only moments ago.
3- MICKIE JAMES vs. GAIL KIM- DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Kim’s “future title shot” came early. This would’ve actually been a sweet match to have at Summerslam. The women traded offensive moves and both tried a dropkick, which ended with a stalemate and handshake. Crowd wasn’t into it thanks to the last segment. Kim reversed a suplex for a roll up, but they rolled through about a dozen times, circling the ring in roll-ups. Double clothesline. Cross-body by Kim for one. Hurricanrana by Mickie out of the corner, but Kim followed up with one of her own. No reactions still. Missile dropkick off the top for two. Kim set James up for her finisher, but Mickie grabbed it and went into a half-crab. Kim got the ropes and rolled Mickie up for two. Cross-body by Kim missed and Mickie measured her, then tried her DDT. Kim didn’t get up for the jumping DDT, so it looked sloppy coming down. The announcers covered by saying Kim blocked it, but she didn’t. Mickie then tried a chick-kick type move that showed a lot of air, then a forearm to the face that must’ve knocked Kim out, because she got pinned.
WINNER: James, at 3:25. OK match, save for the final 30 seconds that were just terrible. Clearly, improvising was not their strong suit. It just felt like they were rushing through a lot of the match. If they were on the PPV and had about 5-6 minutes, I’m thinking it would’ve been better. Both have shown they’re solid in-ring workers, but things were just off tonight.
-Orton attacking guest host Freddie Prinze, Jr. was shown again. Cole and Lawler updated the condition of Prinze, as they said his back and neck were having problems, but he was back at the arena.
-Josh Mathews was backstage with John Cena. Cena complimented Orton, saying he’s considered the most successful superstar in WWE. He also said Orton has problems, and all of “us” seem to be the source of the problems. But Cena said everyone has problems, including the zit on his face (there was a red mark above his lip). Cena said anyone can complain, and he mockingly said he didn’t want to wrestle Big Show because he’s afraid he’s going to eat him. He said he can’t team with Orton because he wears too much baby oil and can’t face Jericho because he never learned to read. Mathews was cracking up during this- Cena said it’s the kind of stuff Orton would say. Cena said after Summerslam, the champ is here. Jericho was standing right behind him, and Chris said Cena has more problems than a zit on his face- like dropping Jericho on his head last week. Show walked up behind Cena and told John he might not make it to Summerslam.
4- JACK SWAGGER vs. MVP
Bell rang right after the break. No hype, no entrances, no nothing. Maybe they were running long? MVP took the fight to the outside quickly, and bounced Swagger’s head off the announce table. Swagger took back over inside the ring. He wouldn’t break in the corner, continuing to kick MVP there to the point that the referee called for the bell, as Swagger didn’t break the count.
WINNER: MVP, via DQ, at 1:04. Well, I guess that’s why they didn’t hype it up.
-Prinze was walking backstage, helped by a trainer who was holding his arm. Prinze kept telling the guy that “I’m going out there.”
-They showed a story in People magazine about WWE’s guest hosts from Raw.
5- CHAVO GUERRERO vs. HORNSWOGGLE- FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH
Hornswoggle ran under the ring, and Chavo went right after him. They had a wide camera shot, and fans were mugging for the crowd. Chavo came out one side, toilet seat in hand, and Horny came out the other. Hornswoggle ran up the ramp, and Chavo chased after him. Backstage, Chavo came upon Primo, who asked where Hornswoggle went. He pointed out which way he thought he went. Chavo came upon two men in dress shirts and ties and they pointed him again down the hallway. Chavo couldn’t get into a locked room and at the end of the hall was another door. Actually, there was one on each side of the hallway. He opened one door, and an empty can on a string hit him in the head. Crowd chanted, “Let’s go Blues,” as their logo was pained on the walls. Hornswoggle came out from behind the other door and made the pin.
WINNER: Hornswoggle, at 2:23. Not as bad as the painted-tunnel-on-the-wall gag, but that’s not saying much.
Chavo got up and saw Mark Henry. Henry said it wasn’t him. Then he turned around and saw Macaulay Culkin, whose gag from Home Alone was just stolen. “Not funny,” he told Chavo. That was, however.
-In the ring, Cole and Lawler previewed Summerslam.
-Jericho and big Show were walking backstage. Their match against Cena and Orton is next.
-They announced that Floyd Mayweather would be the guest host next week in Las Vegas.
-WWE.com poll update: 76% have confidence in Orton and Cena that they can beat the tag champions.
-Both teams made their entrances for the main event. Before it started, Freddie Prinze came out and said he’d take a page out of Orton’s book and make this a lumberjack match- “and they don’t like you very much,” said Prinze. Good promo from him again. The lumberjacks, led by Mark Henry, MVP and Jamie Noble came out. Match will take place after the break.
6- CHRIS JERICHO & BIG SHOW vs. RANDY ORTON & JOHN CENA- LUMBERJACK MATCH
Match was joined in progress. The rest of the lumberjacks, because I’m a completist, included Kofi Kingston, Primo Colon, Evan Bourne. He couldn’t find more people that hated Orton? Big Show had Cena in a rear waist-lock, to wear him down. Cena slowly crawled to Orton, but Orton pulled his hand back, then turned his back on the already worn-down Cena. Show went to work with more right hands, then slapped Cena hard in the chest. He charged Cena in the corner, but Cena landed a drop-toe hold. Cena made a blind tag to Orton, who was turned around, then pulled him into the ring. Orton turned around and got speared by Big Show. Orton rolled to the outside where the lumberjacks were waiting. Henry grabbed Orton and pressed him over his head and back into the ring. Some choking from Show in the corner, then a shot to the gut. And another. Jericho came in and kicked Orton in the gut. Fans weren’t sure who to cheer for here. Jericho caught Orton in a sleeper hold, which took Orton down to one knee. Orton back-dropped out of it. Cena implored Orton to make a tag. He was really into it, but Orton got pulled away at the last second. Big legdrop from Show. Another rest-hold, but Orton got to his feet. Punch to the gut, then a suplex from one-half of the tag champions. Cena continued to try to get Orton to make the tag. Jericho got powerslammed and both men were down. Jericho again stopped the tag from happening. He hooked the arm and worked a chin-lock. Lionsault from Jericho missed, and Orton was able to make the tag. Cena went all “vintage” on Jericho and even knocked Show off the apron. Attitude Adjustment on Jericho, and it’s over.
WINNERS: Cena & Orton, at 8:26.
Right after the match, Orton RKO’d Cena then walked away. Show and Jericho went to work over Cena, but first they had to dispose of the lumberjacks who tried to help. That gave Cena time to recover though, and he cleared the ring of the tag champions. Orton stood on the ramp with the title belt over his head as the show went off the air