Raw
Baltimore, Maryland
November 30, 2009
results thanks to pwtorch.com
WWE Raw opened with a plug for Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston...tonight. Yes,
they're giving away their hottest feud on free TV tonight without any pre-show
advertising. I'll be shocked if they give away the match, much less a clean
finish. Also, Verne Troyer, a/k/a Mini Me is hosting the show.
In-ring: Chris Jericho and Big Show came to the ring dressed in suits to start
the show. Jericho said they want to clear the air on some false beliefs going
around that DX is the greatest tag team of all time. Jericho said they're going
to deal with facts and expose DX right now. He paused and said they have
embarrassed and beaten every tag team put in their way. On and on down the list.
Jericho said DX has been together since 1996, but have never won tag team gold.
Actually, 1997 was the official formation.
Big Show said they will dominate and destroy DX beyond the point of recognition.
So, they're vowing to maim and nearly kill DX. Can't back that one up, so no
one's buying the promo here. Show with another fact: over 43 championships
between Jericho and him. Show said Jericho was the first Undisputed champion and
he is the only man to hold the WCW, WWE, and ECW titles. Jericho emphasized that
they can't be beat. A video reel of their domination played in the background
over their shoulders as Show sold The Fist as he vowed to send DX into a deep
coma.
Jericho said DX doesn't know what they're getting themselves into. Lighting was
darkness to set a heelish tone, then the audience chanted "DX, DX" to interrupt
this boring monologue. Finally, DX's music hit to bring out Shawn Michaels and
Triple H. I don't know if Jericho and Show were intentionally boring to set up a
bigger pop for DX, but that six-minute promo was utter boredom.
Triple H took the mic in the ring and got right down to the facts: "You are
boring us to death." Well, that confirms it. Hunter, wearing some sort of beanie
shaped like an army helmet, said they have amassed an army of DX followers who
believe in DX not because of the merchandise or funny jokes but because they
grab life by the throat and get what they want. So, Hunter advocated violence to
get what he wants. Great message. Michaels then talked about wrestling in his
hometown of San Antonio at the TLC PPV to become the tag champs for the first
time ever.
Hunter then entered game show host narrator to say not only does a tag match
victory at TLC mean DX is tag champs, but Jericho is off Raw for good. Hunter
reminded us Jericho is on Raw only because he has the tag belts. "Bye-bye,"
Hunter said. Jericho sneered. Hunter said they are going to personally remove
Jericho from Raw in two weeks so they don't have to hear him whine anymore.
Crowd chimed in with the "na na na goodbye" song.
Jericho paused and said everyone knows that without Chris Jericho, Raw is
nothing. He said the ratings will go in the toilet and the show will be left
with no one but crazies like DX. Jericho said it drives them crazy every day
that JeriShow has the titles while they have none. He said they won the titles
the first night of their existence while DX rests on their reputation. Jericho
told them there's nothing they can do about losing at TLC.
Hunter said Jericho makes a lot of interesting points, but the only point he has
to say is that two weeks can't come fast enough. He said Jericho's time is
limited on Raw with the clock ticking. He wanted Jericho one-on-one tonight.
Jericho smirked and backed away to conference with Big Show on the challenge.
Don't they have to run this through Mini Me? Jericho said he accepts, but under
one condition. Big Show said if Jericho loses, he faces DX in a handicap match
next week. But, if Hunter loses, he faces Jericho and Show in a handicap match.
(Removing the idea that WWE somehow had to find a way to book that stipulation
for next week, why would anyone logically make that challenge? Why not, "If
Hunter loses, he has to wrestle the entire Raw roster with a blindfold and one
hand tied behind his back with mousetraps on the floor and Shawn Michaels is
barred from the country?" Anyways, the match was set for tonight. JeriShow left
the ring to leave DX in the ring to think about the gutless challenge. PYB (3)
talk time: 14:30.
[Q2]
Raw Flashback: Kofi vs. Orton explodes tonight. Also, Verne Troyer hosts. Jerry
Lawler advertised him "from the Austin Powers movies." What is this, 1999?
Goodness gracious, WWE continues to date themselves after the Scooby Doo
references for Freddy Prinze, Jr. a few months ago.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Divas champion Melina and Gail Kim came to the ring for a divas tag
match to start the show. After the screen inexplicably went blank for a few
seconds, they cut backstage where Josh Mathews interviewed Maryse and Jillian
Hall. Maryse talked about her return to WWE to attack Melina last week as the
Gobbledygooker, then the heel divas marched to the ring. Gail had to hold back
Melina from smashing Maryse before the opening bell.
1 -- Divas champion MELINA & GAIL KIM vs. MARYSE & JILLIAN HALL
Melina and Maryse were going to start, but Maryse played the heel and backed off
to her corner to tag in Jillian without mixing it up with Melina. Maryse
eventually picked her spot and picked up a win over the champion to get her hand
raised and establish herself as the #1 contender to Melina's title.
WINNER: Maryse & Jillian at 2:57. Okay tag match. Jillian is a good enough
secondary heel and she kept the match going before the ultimate finish to set up
Maryse as the next contender to the women's division title on Raw. (1/2*)
Video package: They showed Sheamus winning the #1 contender battle royal last
week, then giving John Cena a powerslam through the contract table. ...
Backstage: They showed Sheamus walking down the hallway. We'll hear from up on
the other side of the break.
[Q3]
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Sheamus came to the ring as Michael Cole talked about Sheamus having a
"chance of a lifetime" against John Cena. Sheamus said he doesn't need to pin or
submit Cena, even though he can. He said all he needs to do is put him through a
table and he's already done it once. Easy way of putting the WWE Title in
jeopardy with the deck stacked against Cena. Sheamus said Cena will then take
him seriously. Santino Marella then came out as Sheamus's opponent. Lawler was
confused that Sheamus was scheduled to wrestle tonight even though Justin
Roberts announced a one-fall match and the ref was in the ring before Sheamus
even came out. Let's get it together folks. Santino said Sheamus must be very
focused on his match against "John Chana" tonight. He said Sheamus must not be
"so smart person" for over-looking him in his promo. He said Sheamus must be "jealious-oh"
because he has skin pigmentation. Santino said Sheamus must think he's after his
Lucky Charms.
Santino called him "Lameus" and Sheamus had enough. He blasted him with a right
hand to beat down Santino. Sheamus gave him a running clothesline and stalked
Santino as Cole did his "low tone voice" to sell the "serious nature" of the
action. Anything to help sell Cena being in jeopardy. Sheamus toyed with Santino
for a bit before delivering his bicycle kick to the head. Sheamus then wanted
the Outsider's Edge and he bounced Santino's head off the mat executing Scott
Hall's finisher. Sheamus wasn't done, as he went under the ring and retrieved a
table. Sheamus set it up in the corner as the audience chanted Cena's name.
Sheamus then put Santino through the table with a running bodyslam that left
Santino slumped in the corner. Sheamus screamed at the hard camera before
leaving the ring and said, "It's nothing compared to what I'm going to do to
John Cena." Effective segment after the initial comedy that distracted from
trying to set up Sheamus as a credible threat to Cena. PYB (3) talk time: 10:05.
Backstage: They faded to a shot of Jericho and Big Show walking down the
hallway. They stopped when they spotted Verne Troyer on his phone way down below
on the floor. Show leaned down to shake hands with Troyer, who then went back to
being on the phone. Jericho tried to get his attention, but Troyer no-sold.
Jericho, upset, stomped off. Troyer then shook hands with Big Show to wrap the
segment.
[Commercial Break]
[Q4]
On-stage: Verne Troyer came out on stage and sat on a stool to talk about
everyone being so nice to him in Los Angeles during Summerslam except for one
inconsiderate jerk...The Miz. On cue, Miz's music interrupted and he came out on
stage. "Really?! I'm inconsiderate?" Miz said he doesn't remember seeing him at
the Summerslam party. He knelt down and sarcastically apologized, saying he felt
awful. Miz said if he could give him... one million dollars and put him in some
cool clothes, maybe he could call him Mini Miz. Troyer said it's not like he's
heard that one before. He shot back that Miz hasn't been in any movies before,
but they filmed two Jackass movies. Troyer said he's a better actor and star
than Miz. Miz said he has no problem using two ringposts as the uprights for him
to punt Troyer right through them. Mark Henry's music interrupted and Henry came
out on stage to defend Mini Me.
Miz congratulated Troyer on being saved by the World's Blandest Man. He went
into Fat Bastard voice telling Troyer to get in his belly. Miz said Henry is
about as boring as this excuse for a human being's attempt at hosting his show.
Miz cut a promo on Henry's perceived boring and bland persona, which begs the
question of what happened to "I'm better than you in the ring and I'll prove
it?" Troyer said he's tired of listening to Miz, so he booked a match - Miz vs.
Mark Henry. Rough-around-the-edges segment. PYB (3) talk time: 6:15.
Plug for later: Triple H vs. Chris Jericho. What happened to Little's People
Court with Hornswoggle? Also, what happened to wrestling on this show? Just a
bunch of filler talk in the first hour tonight.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: Kofi Kingston came to the ring for the unadvertised match against Randy
Orton, but Cody Rhodes ambushed him before he could enter the ring. Cody left
Kofi KO'ed on the floor, but Kofi slowly entered the ring and said he still
wanted the match against Orton. Orton's music hit, but Ted DiBiase ambushed Kofi
from behind and attacked the leg. Cole said they were expecting Kingston vs.
Orton tonight, but now it seems unlikely. Kofi sold a left knee injury as refs
checked on him. Orton's music hit a second time and Orton made record time
hitting the ring.
[Q5 -- second hour]
2 -- RANDY ORTON vs. KOFI KINGSTON
The bell sounded after the ref checked with Kofi one more time, then Orton
quickly went after the knee that was softened up by Legacy. The crowd tried to
rally behind Kofi as Orton took apart the knee. Orton stalked Kofi then went
back to attacking the knee. Ref threatened to DQ him, but he inexplicably didn't
DQ Orton. WWE is quite inconsistent with how much leeway referees are given to
determine DQs. Orton backed away, then Kofi made a brief comeback, but Orton
finished him off with the RKO for the pin and the win.
Post-match: Orton picked up Kingston and wanted to continue the attack. He put
Kingston in the corner and executed his elevated DDT straight into the mat after
a pause for added effect. Orton did his viper-like stalk to go with his
evil-eyes facial expression to sell the attack. Crowd chanted, "Randy sucks" to
help sell the angle. Orton's music hit again as the announcers talked about
Orton being a tortured soul and obsessed with revenge on Kingston, who seemingly
pushed Orton too far.
WINNER: Orton at 3:08. The match outcome sets up Kingston for revenge at a later
date, but why they went this route of Kingston taking a pinfall loss was
questionable. Orton was at least awesome as the classic Orton heel getting his
revenge on Kingston for the past few weeks. Good to see Orton strong again. Now
they can set up a strong comeback from Kingston. (n/a)
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: MVP was hanging out with Verne Troyer playing the Smackdown vs. Raw
video game. Jillian Hall barged in wanting to sing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce,
but MVP distracted her by telling Troyer than Henry isn't that boring or bland.
He's just all-business in the ring. MVP then did everyone a disservice by asking
Jillian to sing her song. Henry started dancing to convey that he's "not bland,"
but he accidentally fell on top of Jillian and squashed her. MVP and Henry
walked away from the crime scene and Troyer comically said, "Hey guys, I think
she's dead." Jillian continued to sell the effects flat on her face on the
ground.
Announcers: Cole and Lawler broke down the TLC PPV card. Backstage: They showed
a red sports car speed up backstage. Out came John Cena looking very serious.
Interesting intro.
[Q6]
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: WWE champion John Cena stormed the ring and said it's his turn to make
a statement; it's his turn to go to war. Cena emphatically called out Sheamus
for a title match right here tonight. Instead, out came Carlito. Que? Carlito,
sporting no facial hair, slowly walked to the ring and said he knows he's not
Sheamus and he doesn't even know Sheamus, but there's a whole locker room full
of folks hoping Cena loses because they're all tired of Cena hogging the
spotlight with his hats, t-shirts, and wrist bands. Carlito said Sheamus is
going to do to Cena what they all want to do: put him through a table and become
new WWE champion. He said Cena might represent the people, but Sheamus
represents the locker room. Carlito told Cena his reign as champ is over. Cena
said he's never been more serious that Carlito picked the wrong guy on the wrong
night. Cena gave Carlito a challenge to step up and come get the title. "It's
party time, let's go," Cena said. Cena then took off his hat and his "damn
t-shirt" and chucked them out of the ring. Carlito decided to take a bite out of
his apple instead of taking a fight to Cena, who blasted him with a right hand
before delivering the FU. Cena dumped Carlito to the outside, then Sheamus's
music hit.
Sheamus came out on stage and stared into the ring. Cena told him to come get
some. Sheamus slowly walked down the ramp, but he stopped. Cena flexed and
readied himself for a fight like a Gladiator movie, but Sheamus merely backed
away and left the stage. Cena sold anger and frustration in the ring to wrap the
segment. Good segment, although the "we hate your merchandise, t-shirts, hogging
the spotlight" promo should probably be directed at bulletproof DX. Surprise use
of Carlito, but he served his purpose well. PYB (3) talk time: 7:37.
Backstage: They showed The Miz walking down the hallway. He has Mark Henry next.
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
On-stage: Verne Troyer was back on stage sitting on a stool to introduce "two
bros, two homies, two good friends" MVP and Mark Henry. MVP came out on stage in
street clothes to lead out Mark Henry. MVP told the audience to prepare
themselves for an epic moment. He said MVP thinks Henry has no personality, so
they're going to give people a dose of reality. MVP tried to warm up the crowd
for Henry to "do it big" showing some personality. Cue up a generic hip-hop
beat. MVP rapped in the background as Henry tried rapping, but he rapped in the
same tone as he usually talks. Basically, Miz has nowhere to hide and it's Raw,
not Real World. They eventually cut off Henry and faded to black. That wasn't
smooth. JC: I don't know where in the world this "no personality Mark Henry"
issue came from, but this was not good TV. Apparently, WWE has decided - with
their Caucasian writers writing for African-American wrestlers - that the only
way for an African-American wrestler to show personality is to act like a
rapper. Henry has potential to be a good babyface, but WWE has given him nothing
to work with. This wasn't good.
[Commercial Break. Oh, but wait, WWE says order the Jeff Hardy DVD as they try
to make money off a former star currently facing felonies and misdemeanor
charges.]
In-ring: The Miz was on his way to the ring out of the break. They quickly went
right to the ring for the match to start.
3 -- U.S. champion THE MIZ vs. MARK HENRY -- non-title match
The bell sounded and Miz tried to mount Henry in the corner to attack him with
right hand blows. They cut to a shot of Troyer sitting on stage with the same
peculiar facial expression he's maintained the entire show. Miz came back on
Henry with a kick strike to the chops for a two count. Miz then tried a
springboard splash, but Henry caught Miz in mid-air with the World's Strongest
Slam for the easy pin and the win. Announcers said this puts Henry in the U.S.
Title chase. Post-match: Henry walked on stage and met with Troyer, who wanted
to bring the ladies out for a celebration. Out came the Bella Twins, Kelly
Kelly, and Eve for some highly awkward dancing. Henry then lifted Troyer on his
shoulders to complete the dance number.
WINNER: Henry at 2:01. Miz can get his heat back from the loss, but this did
absolutely nothing for him. It's one thing for the heel champion to be chased by
potential contenders and show weaknesses that make a potential title chase
intriguing, but it's completely different just to toss him aside with a basic
squash. It would be like exposing the villain, capturing the villain, and
throwing him behind bars in the opening scene of CSI and having nothing left to
intrigue the audience for the next 55 minutes. It simply defies logic. This
whole show has defied logic. I'm starting to think WWE has already packed up the
plane to Iraq because they're phoning this one. (n/a)
Backstage: They showed Chris Jericho walking down the hallway. Main event
against Triple H is up next.
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
Next week: Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban hosts Raw from Dallas. What a
horrible graphic they used, as it looked like they used Microsoft Paint. Even
the graphics department phoned it in tonight.
Backstage: DX was in their locker room talking about a horrible dream about them
supposed to be in Little People's Court this week. Suddenly, Hornswoggle barged
in and spoke jibberish with subtitles that explained Hornswoggle was upset with
them dodging his legal threats. Hunter told him he has "nothing, nothing" on
them. Suddenly, Troyer drove in on a motorized card and told Horny to sue DX for
all they have. Doesn't Troyer have unlimited power on the show to do just that?
Another sign of the writing team phoning this one in since they wrote off the
only thing they advertised for the show ahead of time with a virtual dream
sequence. Not that I'm complaining about them removing the b.s. comedy for a
serious approach to selling the PPV, but it creates a perception the writing
team doesn't know what it's doing from week to week.
In-ring: Chris Jericho came to the ring first for the main event. DX's music hit
and they went through their routine. "You gotta love DX," Lawler said with about
as much conviction as the writing team had writing this show. Shawn Michaels
then went to the announce table before the match began.
4 -- Unified tag champion CHRIS JERICHO vs. TRIPLE H (w/Shawn Michaels)
Less than a minute into the match, Big Show's music hit and he stomped out to
the ring still sporting a suit. Hunter was distracted, which allowed Jericho to
take control. Show knocked over the cameraman and the screen went blank
momentarily, then Show walked over to the announce table as they cut to break.
[Commercial Break]
Back from break, Jericho was in control as Show was now positioned ringside on
commentary. Line-up from left to right was Michaels, Lawler, Cole, and Show.
Michaels and Show debated their respective abilities to climb a ladder before
the top of the hour.
[Q9 -- over-run]
Hunter made his comeback at the top of the hour so everyone flipping channels
for the over-run could see him in control and looking strong. Hunter then missed
with a clothesline and Jericho grazed Hunter with an enziguiri kick for a two
count. Jericho tried to follow with a Lionsault, but Hunter got his knees up to
block. Hunter and Jericho then had a "boo, yay" punch exchange before Hunter
exploded on Jericho with a clothesline for a two count. After Hunter scored a
close nearfall, Show got up from his seat and KO Punched Hunter. Ref didn't see
it, but he booted him. In the confusion, Michaels landed a superkick on Jericho.
Ref turned around and saw Michaels involved, so he booted him. With the extra
participants cleared from ringside, the match resumed with Hunter and Jericho
KO'ed on the mat. Hunter stirred at eight, then Jericho at nine. Both men were
up at nine, then Jericho wanted the codebreaker, but Hunter blocked and rolled
up Jericho with a slight hook of the tights to put Jericho on the mat for the
pin and the win. Next week, it's Jericho vs. DX in a handicap match.
WINNER: Hunter at 11:13. Good, basic TV main event selling one of the PPV main
events at TLC. Good drama at the end with the extra involvement to build tension
for the finish. Easily the best segment on an otherwise bad episode of Raw with
WWE already halfway to Iraq on several fronts. (**1/4)
Post-match: Jericho was on his knees stunned from taking the sudden loss. After
a replay of the high spots in the match, Hunter and Michaels were shown standing
on stage. Michaels took the mic and reminded Jericho he's in a handicap match
next week. He sold it as Jericho's last night on Raw. Jericho sold anguish in
the ring while Hunter posed on stage and took a glance off camera looking for
his cue to go off the air. And so they went off the air to conclude the show.