Raw
Portland, Oregon
March 8, 2010
results thanks to wrestleview.com
Are you ready? Then stop
questioning your heart and join me, because it is time for Monday Night RAW!
This is a call to arms, gather soldiers
Time to go to war
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters
Time to go to war
-Vox Populi by 30 Seconds to Mars
Yes ladies and gentlemen we are 20 days away from Wrestlemania, but that’s not
all. Tonight marks the historic return of the Monday Night Wars as TNA
officially moves to the Monday night 9-11pm timeslot. This is war!
The show kicks off with The Undertaker making his way down to the ring to cut a
promo. He puts over his 17-0 streak at Wrestlemania and starts to put down Shawn
Michaels. He says that since Shawn became “Number 17”, a dark cloud has
overtaken him. Taker says that this obsession will cost Shawn the greatest
price, his career. Taker says that after Wrestlemania there will be no triumph
or celebration for Shawn, just darkness for the rest of his life. Taker says
that in 3 weeks, Shawn Michael’s career will REST IN ---
The Heartbreak Kid’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Shawn
says that while Taker may have expected that his life would be filled with
darkness and despair, that is not the case. Shawn says this is because of the
fact that for the first time, there is fear in the heart of The Undertaker.
Taker tells Shawn to choose his next words very carefully. HBK says “fear!
Because you are the only one who knows how close I came to breaking the streak
last year’. Shawn says that Taker has been trying to intimidate him in the hopes
that he would not request the match, and not risk having his streak broken.
---- Meanwhile in TNA: (I’ll be doing these if I see anything worth noting on
the show to give you a reference point of what both shows are doing at the same
time, as I’m watching TNA on mute) The lights are out in the iMPACT zone and
Sting appears in the ring to interrupt the Hogan/Abyss v. Flair/AJ Styles match,
and proceeds to attack Hogan with his signature black bat----
Shawn says that there is going to be no maybes or mistakes in this match up.
Which is why he is requesting that there be no count outs or disqualifications.
The match can only end by pinfall or submission. Taker says that Shawn may be
the best to ever enter the wrestling ring, but come ‘mania that won’t matter. He
will unleash the demons of hell to defeat HBK. Come Wrestlemania, Shawn’s career
is over. Shawn says that after Wrestlemania the dark cloud will return, but it
is going to be following a new target, The Undertaker. It will haunt Taker for
the rest of his life with the image of having his undefeated streak ended.
Matches to come tonight
Randy Orton v. Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase
Mr. McMahon v. John Cena
****Commercial****
Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres v. Alicia Fox, Katie Lea Burchill & Maryse
Gail starts off in the ring with Alicia Fox. Kim gets the advantage at the
start, heading to the second rope looking for a crossbody. Gail directs her
attention to knock Katie Lea off the apron, but this gives Alicia the opening to
tag in Maryse. Gail Kim tags in Eve Torres. Maryse comes after Eve with a strong
kick, but gets knocked to the mat. Eve does a somersault leg drop to Maryse and
goes for the cover. Maryse’s partners come in to break up the hold. All hell
breaks loose as Kelly & Gail enter the ring to take them out. Eve heads to the
second rope, and Maryse follows right after. The Divas Champion looks to knock
her off, but Eve counters and rolls down into the ring while maintaining a hold
on Maryse. In the center of the ring, Eve has the arm bar locked on and Maryse
taps!
Winners via Arm Bar: Eve Torres, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly
In the back Criss Angel is talking with Hornswoggle. The Bella Twins enter the
ring and say that they are big fans. They ask to be his assistants for the
night. Criss says that the problem is he does not use Twins as a rule. Criss
does however perform an illusion for the duo. I’m not going to try and do it
justice, but essentially he stuck half of a string in his mouth, and then pulled
it out of his eye socket.
Jillian Hall comes in the back and says that if anyone is going to be his
assistant it should be her. Jillian says that she will sing his entrance. She
starts to give a lively rendition of.. honestly who knows what she ever sings.
Criss says that she will lose her voice – NOW! He snaps his fingers and
Jillian’s voice is gone. Thanks Criss!!
****Commercial****
The Miz and Big Show make their way down to the ring. Miz has a mic and recaps
the fact that John Morrison and R-Truth earned the right to face ShoMiz at
Wrestlemania 26. Miz says that it is just a disrespect to the Tag Champs that
Morrison & Truth are the best available. Miz says he would rather face the
Bushwhackers, because they were at least a Team. Miz claims that he and Big Show
are the last truly great Tag Team in the WWE.
John Morrison’s music hits and he is followed out be the rap stylings of
R-Truth.
Non-Title Exhibition Match
The Miz & Big Show v. John Morrison & R-Truth
Truth and Miz are the first to square off in the ring. Morrison wastes no time
by entering the ring and running to the apron to knock Big Show off. Morrison
and Truth then connect with a duet of baseball slides to Miz’s face. All the
competitors are on the outside and Big Show makes his way over to Morrison. The
referee calls for the bell, and it looks like this match is over.
NO CONTEST
Morrison says that Miz claims Morrison & Truth aren’t a real team, but they just
proved there validity. In the words of a famous philosopher (or R-Truth),
“that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”
---- Meanwhile in TNA: Shannon Moore makes his return to the ring by attacking
Doug Williams following his X Division Title defense. Bischoff announces Doug
Williams v. Shannon Moore at Destination X for the belt----
****Commercial****
Josh Mathews is in the back and welcomes his guest, John Cena. Mathews asks
about Cena being left speechless in the ring last week. Cena admits it was
because what Batista said was true. Everything he said was correct, he has not
been able to defeat Batista. The only way to change that, is to go out and beat
him. Oh, and Cena counts on Batista getting involved in his match against
McMahon tonight.
In the back Evan Bourne is with Criss Angel. He thanks Criss for making a Money
in the Bank Qualifying Match between him and William Regal for later tonight.
Skip Sheffield (NXT Rookie) enters the office and is followed by Regal (His Pro
Mentor). Skip is a fan of Criss’s and wants him to do a mind trick. Regal scoffs
and says that it will take two seconds to get in Skip’s head. Angel instead does
the trick on Regal. William picks a number and writes it on a piece of paper
(56). Through the usage of mind freakiness, he guesses it correctly.
Handicap Match
Randy Orton v. Ted Dibiase & Cody Rhodes
While Legacy is making their way to the ring, Randy Orton runs up from behinds
and starts to attack them.
****Commercial****
We are back and the referee rings the bell to start the match. It will be Rhodes
and Orton squaring off first. Cody is backed into the corner and met with a slew
of forearms to the face. Randy throws him to the mat and Ted Dibiase gets the
tag. Randy and Ted look to lock up, but Ted catches his former mentor with a
punch. Ted goes bouncing off the ropes, and gets caught with a huge clothesline.
Dibiase and Rhodes are talking in the corner. Dibiase tags in his partner.
Rhodes is in the ring and starts to go after Orton with punches. Orton throws
Cody hard to the outside. Dibiase enters the ring and looks to sneak up from
behind, but Orton senses his presence and turns around. Ted exits the ring as we
head for the second commercial of this match.
****Commercial****
---- Meanwhile in TNA: Sting’s Mystery Opponent for his match: Mr. Monday Night
ROB VAN DAM!
Back on RAW it is Cody Rhodes in the ring with Randy Orton. Cody hits a jaw
breaker and throws Randy to the outside. Orton at first looks to get back in the
ring, but Cody knocks him off the apron, which allows Ted to get in a cheap shot
before the referee becomes privy to the strategy. Rhodes heads to the outside of
the ring and throws Orton’s head into the steel post. Legacy rolls Randy back
into the ring.
Both members of Legacy are in the ring and connect with a kick on Orton. Ted,
who is now the legal man, puts a headlock on Orton. Randy is close to escaping,
but Ted bounces off the ropes and hits a clothesline. Ted tags in Cody. Rhodes
comes into the ring and hits a dropkick. He goes for the cover, but Randy kicks
out. Cody takes his time to hit a couple more kicks on Orton. Randy is on the
mat and writhing in pain. Cody picks him up and backs him into the corner while
tagging in Ted.
Ted distracts the referee while Cody gets in a cheap choke on Randy. Ted then
tags Cody back into the ring. Legacy tries to whip each other into Orton, but
Randy counters and hits clotheslines on both men! Randy has regained control and
the referee has to pull him off of Ted. Dibiase runs at Orton, but gets caught
with a backbreaker. Randy turns his attention to Cody and looks to go for the
RKO. Rhodes slides out of the ring to counter the move. From behind, Ted runs up
and connects with Dream Street!
Winners via Dream Street: Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes
After the match Cody hits his finisher on Orton. Both members of Legacy mock
Orton with his own taunt as their music hits.
----Meanwhile in TNA: Sting is going crazy and attacking everyone with his bat
including RVD, Hulk Hogan, and an absurd amount of referees----
In the back, Batista is watching the happenings on his TV. Mathews enters and
asks him his thoughts on the John Cena situation, and Cena’s certainty that
Batista would get involved. Batista insinuates that Cena is crazy. He promises
on his word as Champion that he won’t get involved in the match.
****Commercial****
HHH’s music hits as he makes his way down to the ring with water bottle in hand.
Video package airs recapping the confrontation between HHH and Sheamus as RAW
went off the air last week.
Trips says that he respects what Sheamus did last week. He says that if the
roles were reversed, he would have done the very same thing. Before he can
continue, Sheamus’ music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Sheamus
says that he wants to make a statement, against HHH at Wrestlemania. He asks HHH
if he has the guts. HHH says that Sheamus has had quite a first year, maybe the
best first year in the history of the business. The thing is, Sheamus has never
been to Wrestlemania. HHH says that until he makes a name for himself at
Wrestlemania, none of his other accomplishments matter. HHH says that there are
a lot of people have made names for themselves at ‘mania, but even greater is
the number of guys that failed. HHH says that he has the guts, but Sheamus is
going to have to risk it all. Sheamus has to put it all on the line to either be
the best at Wrestlemania, or be a failure. Before he takes that gamble, Trips
warns him that he better be sure.
----Meanwhile in TNA: An absurd amount of security guards are breaking up
Waltman, Eric Young, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash----
Sheamus looks to walk to the back, but instead he turns around and slugs a punch
to HHH’s face. Both guys are going after each other with everything that they
have. HHH charges at Sheamus on the outside, and the crash over the barrier.
Both men get back into the field of play, and Sheamus rolls Hunter into the
ring. That was probably a bad idea as HHH hits a Spinebuster. Sheamus rolls out
of the ring and heads up the ramp.
In the back, Santino is talking to Criss Angel. He says that he comes from a
long line of magicians. Santino says that this includes Harry Houdini. Criss
quickly corrects him and says that Houdini is from Hungary. Santino says “that
is what the liberal media wants you to believe”. Santino says he has a trick,
and does the old splitting your thumb and moving it gag.
Criss is unimpressed, so Santino tells him to do a trick. Criss does a trick
which involves four cups, and Santino hiding an object under one of them. By
analyzes Santino’s muscles he correctly eliminates all of the cups until he gets
to the one that Santino hid his object under. Nice.
****Commercial****
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
Evan Bourne v. William Regal w/ Skip Sheffield
Christian joins in on commentary for the match as he has already qualified for
Money in the Bank. He is flanked by his NXT rookie Heath Slater. Evan uses his
speed to try and move around Regal at the offset. Regal is able to catch him
with a fist to the face. Regal then hits a beautiful Butterfly Suplex, he goes
for the cover, but Bourne kicks out. Regal follows up with a fall away back
slam. Evan heads to the corner to catch his breath. He hits Regal square in the
face with his knee which sends the acclaimed British wrestler to the mat. Bourne
then connects with his Shooting Star Press and picks up the win.
Winner via Shooting Star Press: Evan Bourne
----Meanwhile in TNA: The National Guard is beating up Mr. Anderson (Mr.
Kennedy). Sure, why not?----
****Commercial****
Next Week’s Guest Host for RAW: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Video Package airs highlighting the feud between Mr. McMahon and Bret Hart
Up Next: Mr. McMahon v. John Cena!
****Commercial****
Match announced for next week: John Cena v. Big Show; Shawn Michaels v. Jericho;
Randy Orton v. HHH; and a contract signing between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon
Criss Angel comes out to the ramp with some massive pyro as he heads to the ring
to act as the special guest ring announcer for our main event. Criss is thrilled
to be live on Monday Night RAW. He first introduces” the gentleman fighting for
the Title at Wrestlemania”, John Cena. Angel then introduces, “love him or hate
him”, Vince McMahon.
Before the match starts, Vince grabs the mic to tell Bret to make sure he is
watching back home in Canada. Vince then proceeds to taunt Cena, before laying
out a stipulation. This is a gauntlet match, and a handicapped one at that.
Handicap Gauntlet Match
John Cena v. McMahon & Cronies
Kozlov enters the ring and after shaking off a couple of shots from John, hits
him squarely with a head butt. He then slams Cena to the mat. Vince then calls
for the tag, and enters the ring. He tries to get the cover, but Cena kicks out.
Vince then calls for his next partner, and Drew McIntyre runs down from the
ramp. He hits his finisher, and Vince goes for another pin. Cena kicks out.
----Meanwhile in TNA: Hogan is back in the ring doing… you know what? I don’t
even care anymore----
Vince calls for his next crony as Swagger runs down to the ring. The action
continues after the break!
****Commercial****
We are back and John Cena is set up for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle on Jack Swagger.
He connects all whilst staring down Mr. McMahon. Swagger uses his speed to slide
out of the way and then lifts Cena up. He charges to the corner to hit Cena’s
back against the turnbuckle. Swagger goes for his second rope splash bounce, and
actually connects. He is about to tag in McMahon, but Vince tells him to do it
again. Swagger does, and then tags in McMahon. Vince goes for the cover, but
Cena kicks out!
Vince’s temper may have gotten the best of him, as he goes for another futile
cover attempt. Vince frustratingly calls for his next crony. Mark Henry comes
out, and does not look pleased to be put in this situation, unfortunately he has
been instructed to obey the boss’ orders. He hits the World’s Strongest Slam and
then begrudgingly tags in McMahon. Vince goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out.
Vince is furious and exits the ring. He heads over to the announcers table to
grab a mic and announces that this is a no disqualification match as of this
moment. Vince grabs the bell and re-enters the ring. Mark Henry is there, and he
is trying to talk him out of using the bell. Vince then throws a curve ball by
handing the ring bell to Henry. Mark throws the bell out of the ring and shakes
his head “no”.
Out of nowhere, Batista runs in and spears Mark Henry. Kofi Kingston’s music
hits and he tries to stop the Animal. Kofi is able to connect with a couple of
punches, but then gets thrown to the mat by Batista. Cena finally gets to his
feet, and it is Batista, Cena and McMahon in the ring. Cena is able to charge at
Batista and knock him into the corner. John turns his attention to Vince. Vince
drops the ring bell he was holding, and looks nervously at Cena. John goes to
lift McMahon up for the Attitude Adjustment, but instead gets caught by a spear!
Batista follows up with a Power Bomb which allows McMahon to get the cover.
Winner via the Magic of Cronies: Vince McMahon
Batista stands over Cena’s fallen body as RAW heads off the air with just one
more broadcast before Wrestlemania!