Raw
East Rutherford, New Jersey
April 19, 2010
results thanks to wrestleview.com
Are you ready? Then stop
questioning your heart and join me, because it is time for Monday Night RAW!
**For those unaware tonight's RAW is being held under special circumstances.
Volcanic activity in Iceland has covered parts of Europe in an ash cloud and
closed a lot of air travel. As a direct result, the RAW talent which was touring
Europe this past week for their Wrestlemania tour is NOT back in the states.
Tonight's show will feature RAW talent not in Europe as well as available
Smackdown talent. I also expect to see RAW talent in Europe used for studio
interviews**
Keeping that in mind, it's time for the last RAW before the Extreme Rules PPV.
Hosted by MacGruber, it's going to be an interesting night.
The show kicks off with one of the rare RAW Superstars NOT stranded in Europe,
HHH, making his way out to the entrance ramp. It sounds like... yes it is!
Lillian Garcia is back on ring announcing duties for the night!
HHH makes his way down to the ring to a roaring ovation. He tells the fans not
to suck up to him just because he's the only one there tonight. HHH explains the
situation to the audience, while throwing in a bunch of jabs at guys who are
overseas and thus can't respond. HHH cuts a promo on Sheamus, and puts over
their match at Extreme Rules. He says he is going to beat him any color, other
than white.
The game says that the fans may be thinking that they'll "have to watch HHH
wrestle a two hour Iron Man match with Frank the Audio guy", but fortunately
that is not the case. The brass has made sure that the fans in attendance will
still receive a high caliber show.
CM Punk's music interrupts Triple H, and he makes way out to the ring,
accompanied by Serena and Luke Gallos. Punk says that he's got two words for the
fans... "Jersey Sucks". Punk notes that this time next week, he might not even
be on Smackdown. The WWE Draft is next week. Punk says that if he is drafted to
RAW he will bring the entire Straight Edge Society with him. HHH asks if by
"entire" SES he means... those two. Since they are the only ones in it. HHH also
questions why Punk doesn't have to cut his hair, but his followers do. Punk says
that it is because no foreign substances have ever touched his hair, his hair is
pure. HHH asks if by foreign substances he means shampoo and soap.
HHH says it doesn't matter anyway, because if Punk gets drafted to RAW, he will
probably be bald anyway as he has a hair match against Rey Mysterio at Extreme
Rules. CM Punk tells HHH that he could do well to adopt the straight edge
lifestyle. HHH says that they have already had this conversation, he believes in
freedom. He believes in making free choices, and doing what you want to do.
HHH goes out to the crowd and highlights some random fans in attendance. He
points out a college kid, and says he can go up and buy all the beer he wants.
He tells to older fans that they can go jump over to another state and formalize
their union as partners. Lillian Garcia can show up on RAW for the night just to
horse around. And HHH can fight Punk and the bald wonder twins, just because he
wants to. Punk back tracks and says that he doesn't even want to be here. He
just honestly thought that HHH would be open to the change. Apparently there is
a miscommunication. The miscommunication is not that Punk is asking him, but he
is telling him!
The SES start to attack HHH. At first it looks as though HHH is going to get the
upper hand, but the numbers games proves too great. CM Punk has HHH subdued and
Gallos holds him down in a chair. Serena grabs a razor, and it looks like the
end of a hair era for HHH. Rey Mysterio runs out to make the save! Rey clears
the ring, and then taunts Punk with the razor. Mysterio cuts off a clump of
Punks hair!! The SES make the save, and Punk retreats with what remains of his
hair.
It's going to be a crazy night!
****Commercial****
Drew McIntyre v. Matt Hardy
The match starts with both men brawling out to the floor. After a quick
exchange, McIntyre throws Matt skull first into the steel steps. They make their
way back into the ring. Hardy hits the Side Effect and goes for the pin,
McIntyre kicks out. Hardy then hits a neckbreaker and looks for the pin, but no
luck. Hardy and Drew charge at each other, with each colliding with equal force.
Matt climbs to the second rope looking for his ~EPIC~ elbow drop, but Drew
counters by knocking him off the rope and picking up the pinfall.
Winner via Pushing Him Down: Drew McIntyre
We head via satellite to Belfast, Ireland where John Cena is live in a studio.
He shouts out to all of the WWE families, and says that all of the Superstars
are save. Cole asks if the situation is throwing off his preparation for Extreme
Rules. Cena says that it has not, and he will be the Last Man Standing at
Extreme Rules.
****Commercial****
Kozlov is in the ring, and tells the audience that his name is Vladimir Kozlov.
He starts to continue, but the fans start a "what" chant. For once, it makes
sense because no one can understand a word he is saying. Vlad calls King into
the ring to read his statement. In a nutshell it states that Kozlov is
boycotting the RAW Guest Host concept, and he deserves higher caliber treatment.
He calls the audience all spoiled Americans, and physically inferior. Worst of
all, they are from a state devoid of integrity. New Jersey is the worst place to
live in the world. He can't wait for his Russian friend to by the nets and move
them to a more deserving state. Kozlov is back on the mic, and demands proper
competition.
The "MacGruber" music hits, and the cast heads out to the ring. MacGruber is
carrying an American flag. Vicky, not Guerrero, the MacGruber character,
announces the main event of the evening. MacGruber calls Kozlov a giant pile of
suck. Kozlov says that if he says one more word about him, he will end him.
MacGruber agrees, but says his mom on the other hand is a different story. Vicky
tries to stop him. MacGruber says that New Jersey is not the most depressing
place on earth, that place is clearly the uterus of Kozlov's mother. Vicky
disagrees and says that she is sure Kozlov's mother's uterus is a fantastic
place.
Kozlov says that he is going to destroy him later tonight. MacGruber says that
Kozlov can't because he already has a match. And it is against R-Truth! Truth
comes out and starts his song. MacGruber tells Kozlov that he can't escape
because he has rigged the entire building with explosives. He says that's the
truth, and asks R-Truth, "what's up?". They go back and forth a couple of times
before an explosion goes off! All that is left of poor R-Truth is his shoes. So
much for that. Kozlov stars him down, and reiterates that they will be having a
match tonight. MacGruber sheepishly agrees.
****Commercial****
In the back, MacGruber is trying to head out of the building. HHH sees him, and
stops him in the act. HHH asks him if he had an accident, and points to the wet
front of his pants. MacGruber says that it is not pee, but water. Well, actually
it is pee, but MacGruber's friend is the one who wet him, and then he put them
on to be a good friend. MacGruber points and says, oh there is my friend now.
Kane walks into the shot.
HHH explains to Kane that MacGruber is claiming that Kane wet his pants and then
gave them to him. Kane asks what he is even talking about. MacGruber high tails
it and leaves us with a, "go USA" for good measure. Kane exclaims to HHH, "I
don't think that's the only thing he did in those pants".
Randy Orton is live via satellite from Belfast, Ireland and cuts a promo for his
match against Jack Swagger at Extreme Rules for the World Heavyweight
Championship
****Commercial****
It is worth noting that it is now 10 o'clock and we have only had five minutes
of wrestling so far this evening.
**Meanwhile in TNA... Rob Van Dam has just defeated AJ Styles to become the NEW
TNA World Heavyweight Champion!! Well done RVD!**
Jack Swagger grabs a mic and says that talk is cheap when Orton is 3,000 miles
away. He calls for a referee, and says that he is issuing an open challenge to
anyone in the back. The lights go out, the gong sounds, and yes! The Undertaker
has accepted!
Jack Swagger v. The Undertaker
The match starts with a couple quick exchanges of blows. The Undertaker quickly
gets the upper hand and grabs Swagger's arm. He heads up the turnbuckle and
connects with the Old School. Swagger kicks out of the pin attempt. Swagger then
hits a scoop slam and tries for a cover. Undertaker kicks out.
Swagger unloads with a series of kicks and punches, and sends Undertaker to the
outside of the ring. Swagger follows after, but it proves to be a poor decision
as Undertaker punches him in the head, and then throws him skull first into the
steel steps. Undertaker looks to whip him into the steps once again, but Swagger
counters and whips Taker knee first into the steps!
Swagger heads into the ring to stop the count, and then slides Taker back into
the ring. He is now targeting the knee with a series of kicks. He sets Taker up
in the corner and wrenches the knee around the second rope. Taker finds a moment
of reprieve by sending Swagger to the outside of the ring. He sets Jack's neck
up on the apron, and then hits his Vintage Leg Drop! (copyright Michael Cole)
Back inside the ring once again, Taker hits a snap suplex and goes for the
cover. Swagger kicks out.
Undertaker locks in a neck joke on the World Heavyweight Champion. Taker
releases and connects with an elbow drop. He then locks in a front headlock as
we go to commercial.
****Commercial****
We come back as Swagger has Undertaker in a leg hold. Taker kicks him away. Jack
comes back, so Taker catches him in a leg scissors hold. Swagger counters back
into a leg hold. Swagger slides to the outside, and then slams Taker's leg
against the steel post.
Back in the ring, Swagger sends Taker bouncing off the ropes, but finds himself
caught with a surprise DDT! He barely kicks out at two. Taker throws Swagger
head first into the top turnbuckle for snake eyes, then connects with a leg
drop. Another near fall. The Undertaker is looking for the chokeslam. Swagger
manages to fight out, but gets caught with another vicious boot.
Taker whips Swagger into the ropes, but this time it is Swagger that connects
with a DDT. Close count, but Taker kicks out. Swagger takes it to the ribs of
the Undertaker with some kicks. He then charges across the ring for his second
rope splash, but Taker catches him and hits a chokeslam!! Taker follows up with
the Tombstone Piledriver, and this match is over.
Winner via Tombstone Piledriver: The Undertaker
****Commercial****
Video trailer airs for MacGruber
In the back, Chris Jericho is talking to CM Punk and the Straight Society. Punk
has a towel wrapped around his head. Jericho tells them to listen to what he has
to say, and they will be fine. MacGruber bumps into Jericho. He says that it is
good to run into him again, as he hasn't seen him since shooting for the film
wrapped (Jericho is in the movie). Chris says that there are rumors of an early
Oscar nomination. In fact, they are talking about making a sequel with Jericho
in the Title role. Jericho sings the MacGruber theme, with his own name in its
place. Jericho suggests that he throw of Khali by starting the match by offering
his hand for a shake, and then slapping him in the face!
Kozlov v. MacGruber
The match starts with MacGruber taking Jericho's advice and offering his hand
for Kozlov to shake. When he doesn't, he slaps Kozlov in the face! Kozlov grabs
him by the neck and this is going to end quickly... but wait!
MacGruber's co-star hits the ramp, and says that he just got off the phone with
the WWE office, and was able to make this a handicap match. He introduces
MacGruber's half-brother, KhalGruber! (Yes it is the Great Khali, don't try to
justify it, just laugh and roll with the booking).
So Khali – I mean, KhalGruber, gets in the ring and takes it right to Kozlov.
The Russian can't bring him to his knees. KhalGruber heads to the outside, and
Kozlov follows after. This results in a count out, and apparently MacGruber was
the legal man, which means... oh wow, they win.
Winners via Count out: MacGruber and KhalGruber
MacGruber grabs the mic and says this proves that America is the best country in
the world. They have the best food, sports, and movies. Like Shrek 4 opening May
21st in theatres everywhere, his co-hosts interrupt and he quickly changes his
plug to MacGruber , which opens that same day. Another explosion hits the ramp
as we head to commercial.
****Commercial****
HHH is making his way out to the ring for tonight's main event. We head to a
live feed from Belfast were Sheamus cuts a promo regarding their match at
Extreme Rules this Sunday. He takes out his aggression on a production member.
Trips just stares at the screen with a nonchalant look as if to say, "hey, I'm
on another continent, wtf can I do about that anyway?".
****Commercial****
HHH, Edge & Rey Mysterio v. CM Punk, Luke Gallos & Chris Jericho w/ Serena
The match starts off with a ton of quick action. CM Punk's team finds themselves
all on the outside. Triple H and Edge pick up Mysterio and help launch him to
the outside to take out the entire team!
****Commercial****
We come back as Luke Gallos is tagged into the ring, and then Chris Jericho
takes the tag. Jericho has the upper hand with a couple of punches, but Mysterio
springboards off the second rope to take out Jericho. Both men retreat to their
corners and Luke Gallos and Edge are tagged into the ring. Edge lays out Gallos,
and looks to be going for the spear. Serena jumps up to the apron to cause a
distraction which allows Jericho to pull Edge out of the ring. Jericho slides
Edge back into the ring and Gallos has him on the mat.
Jericho is tagged into the match, and taunts the audience. Jericho looks to work
on the Achilles' heel of Edge. Jericho drags him to his corner and tags in CM
Punk. Punk grabs him by the heel and falls to the mat by wrenching on a leg
lock. Punk breaks free and tags in Luke Gallos. Edge somehow finds the fortitude
to escape to his corner and tags in HHH! Trips connects with a knee to the face
of the Straight Edge Superstar, who has been tagged in by his disciple. Punk
blocks a splash, but gets caught with a Spinebuster. HHH looks for the Pedigree,
but Gallos runs in to make the save. Rey Rey springboards into the ring with a
Senton to take out Gallos. Punk is knocked onto the second rope, and Rey
Mysterio connects with the 619! HHH follows up with the Pedigree, and this match
is over!
Winners via Pedigree: HHH, Rey Mysterio & Edge