May 13, 2013
results thanks to wrestleview.com
Jerry Lawler is in the ring as RAW will kick off tonight with a dance contest
between Chris Jericho and Fandango. Lawler puts over Jericho’s past on ‘Dancing
with the Stars’ and then welcomes out the competitors.
Chris Jericho is being accompanied by a dancer named Edyta Sliwinska.
Fandango says that he knows that he can beat Chris Jericho. There will always be a better man than Jericho, and his name is Fandango.
Lawler asks Jericho for a response. Jericho welcomes the fans to ‘RAW is Jericho’. He says that nothing was more impressive than when he beat four competitors, including Lawler, to become the first ever RAW Musical Chairs Champion in history. He also won on RAW’s version of ‘The Price is Right’. Chris knows that he will win this competition. Jericho says that at the PPV he is going to invent a new dance sensation that will hit number one on the charts. Jericho is going to kick his jack-ass all over the ring.
Fandango and Summer Rae are the first to dance, or they would have been, but Fandango never starts to dance. He asks for the music to be cut off. He grabs a microphone and tries to hush the crowd. He says that he is trying to create a masterpiece out here. Fandango needs silence. He needs to focus.
Fandango moves back to the center of the dance floor, oh yeah the ring mat is a legit dance floor at the moment. Summer Rae and Fandango start to dance but – oh no! Rae falls to the ground and apparently twists her ankle. Fandango is not being supportive and is annoyed at his partner’s collapse.
Jericho’s dancer goes over to check on her fellow female. Fandango is not pleased and is about to flip. Jericho walks over to step in between the two and make sure that there is no conflict. Fandango finally loses it and kicks Jericho. Fandango continues the attack outside the ring by tossing Jericho into the barricade. Fandango grabs a part of the dance floor and uses it to bash Jericho over the head.
Fandango reenters the ring and looks out upon the carnage. Summer Rae springs to her feet and leaps into Fandango’s warm embrace. They pose in the ring and it becomes quickly obvious that we’ve been hoodwinked. Fandango and Rae make their way up the ramp.
Ryback v. Zack Ryder
It’s bad news for Ryder from the start. Ryder tries to use his quickness to escape, but Ryback quickly drops him to the mat with an arm lariat. Ryback lifts Ryder up for Shell Shocked and stomps his way around the ring. Ryback fulfills the call to finish him and mercifully covers Ryder for the pin.
Tons of Funk vs. The Prime Time Players
Sweet T starts the match off against Darren Young. He is able to take the advantage and push Young down to the mat. Titus gets the tag and quickly flattens Sweet T. He yells to taunt the crowd. T is just able to get to the corner and tag in Brodus. It’s a straight charge into the ring as Clay hits a shoulder block. Clay grabs his opponent and tosses him over head with a T-Bone suplex. Clay looks to have control of the match until he finds himself shot towards the corner. Young stabs him in the upper chest with his hair pick which sends Clay reeling back towards Titus. The sneak attack process super effective as Clay is covered for the pin.
Winners: Prime Time Players
Teddy Long is brought out to announce what will happen as result of Ziggler being concussed and not able to compete at Extreme Rules. Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger are out to argue that Ziggler should be stripped of the title and have it given to Swagger since he is the one that knocked Dolph out.
AJ and Big E Langston appear out of nowhere to put to rest the suggestion that Dolph should be stripped. Everyone begins to argue.
Teddy Long says that Alberto Del Rio will face Jack Swagger in a #1 Contenders ‘I Quit’ Match at the PPV. Langston will be in action tonight against either Del Rio or Swagger. The WWE Universe will vote for who they wish to see in the match.
Kofi Kingston v. Damien Sandow
Sandow takes the time on the mic before the match to declare that he will vanquish Kofi. The match starts with a quick back and forth. Kofi is the first to take a solid advantage as he hits his chops and then The Boom Drop. Sandow escapes before a Trouble in Paradise can land and hits a swining neckbreaker. Kofi kicks out of the cover. Kofi counters and dodges before hitting a strong Trouble in Paradise to quickly put a stop to this match.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Kofi Kingston will defend his United States Championship against Dean Ambrose at Extreme Rules.
Josh Mathews is in the ring to interview a very angry Mark Henry. He rolls a clip of his Tractor Trailer pull from Smackdown. Josh asks how he will use that strength to win against Shamus at Extreme Rules in their strap match. Henry offers to show Josh. Mathews is hesitant but Henry is not really giving him a choice. Josh puts the strap around his wrist while JBL calls him an idiot for not running. Henry shoves Mathews down to the mat and then explains the rules. To win a competitor must consecutively touch all four corner of the ring to end the match. Henry demonstrates by pulling Josh around the ring. Henry walks over to Mathews and pulls the strap off and lets him escape. Henry calls Josh a rat as he scurries away. Henry says that he doesn’t want to wait till the PPV. He calls out Sheamus to finish what they started last week. Henry stands in the middle of the ring with a strap in his hand as he laughs about the fact that Sheamus did not show.
Sheamus’ music hits and he decides to walk out onto the entrance ramp. He has a mic and says that Henry may be the strongest but he is not the smartest. Sheamus says that if Henry thought he had discouraged Sheamus after last week’s attack than he is quite wrong. Henry yells for Sheamus to come down to the ring right now.
Sheamus says that he is not scared and he has never backed down from a fight. Sheamus says that Henry has talked him into it. Sheamus walks down to the ring and up the stairs but won’t get inn until Henry backs up so he can get in the ring. Sheamus says that he forgot that he was down at ringside earlier on and left a present for Henry under the ring. Sheamus grabs a strap and slides into the ring. They begin to slug at each other with the straps. Henry decides he has had enough and slides out of the ring. Sheamus laughs as RAW goes to commercial.
Randy Orton vs. Antonio Cesaro
Real quick match. Cesaro avoids the DDT through the ropes early on. Orton with an RKO.
Winner: Randy Orton
The Miz v. Heath Slater w/ 3MB
Miz is all sorts of fired up as he knocks Slater down to the mat. Miz attempts a couple of cover to no avail. Miz hits a neckbreaker and goes for another cover. Slater once again kicks out. The band leader attempts to get in a bit of offense tonight. Slater gets to the side of Miz for a headlock.
Miz is able to escape and fights with Slater towards the corner. Slater is up on the turnbuckle and starts to punch Miz. Miz looks for a suplex but the other band members come up to distract. Miz tosses Slater out of the ring and onto his allies. Slater makes his way back into the ring only to be twisted into a Figure Four Lock.
Winner: The Miz
Six-Man Elimination Match
John Cena, Daniel Bryan & Kane v. The Shield
Kane and Ambrose start the match. After a back and forth Dane tags in Bryan. Ambrose is grounded but is able to make it to the corner and tags in Rollins. Kane brings in Cena and the Champion charges into the ring.
Back from the break, Bryan has Ambrose in a surfboard stretch. Kane tags himself in and falls on Ambrose. Cover, but Ambrose kicks out. Bryan gets the quick tag.
Ambrose is hit with a few uppercuts but pushes Bryan towards the Shield corner. Rollins tags himself in and unloads with a flurry of kicks. Reigns and Ambrose take their cheap shots as they can find them. Reigns gets the tag and tosses Bryan face first down to the mat. Bryan is hit with a shoulder block that flattens him. Reigns strikes another block and a cover. Bryan kicks out.
Rollins flies into the ring off the tag and attempts to roll up Bryan. Daniel kicks out but is immediately trapped in a rear headlock. Ambrose gets the tag as The Shield starts to take advantage via the numbers game. Ambrose stomps on the chest of Bryan before flipping him over and applying a chin lock.
Bryan is finally able to gather enough strength to escape and tag in Kane. Kane takes down Ambrose and then knocks the rest of The Shield members off of the apron. Kane turns his attention back to Ambrose and hits a Big Boot. Cover, but Ambrose kicks out. Kane climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps for the rolling arm lariat. Kane connects with the move. Kane grabs Ambrose by the neck and is looking for a chokeslam. Rollins jumps into the ring but Kane catches him by the neck as well. Kane pushes them both backwards until they are sent over the top rope and go crashing out of the ring. Kane follows after and continues the attack. Kane rips the top off of the announce booth and uses it to take out Ambrose. Kane is unrelenting with his attack. The referee eventually calls for Kane’s elimination as the Big Red Machine is out of control.
Back from the break Ambrose is on top of John Cena. He continues the attack until Reigns gets the tag. He does a bit of DragonBall Z style powering up before charging at Cena. Reigns hits a suplex and then tags in Rollins. Seth leaps from the top turnbuckle and attempts to keep Cena grounded. Rollins clings to the back of Cena as long as possible. He looks for the choke out but Cena is able to tag in Bryan. Daniel is lying all over the ring and uses his speed to take down Rollins. He runs the ropes and lies straight out onto Reigns outside the ring. Bryan climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits a huge missile dropkick. Bryan goes for the cover but Seth kicks out. Bryan attempts a no lock but Ambrose gets the tag as Rollins is whipped into the ropes. Bryan knocks down Ambrose, but Rollins catches him off guard with a kick to the skull. Ambrose hits a Russian Leg Sweep variant and covers Bryan. Daniel Bryan is eliminated.
John Cena is now alone against The Shield. He rushes towards Ambrose but finds himself in the corner of The Shield. There are a couple of rapid tags before Cena is able to move towards the center of the ring and isolate Rollins. Cena sets in for the Five Moves of Doom. The 5 Knuckle Shuffle connects on Rollins. Cena covers him for the pin. Ambrose runs in to be the legal man. Cena lifts him up onto his shoulder. Reigns runs into the ring but the referee looks to hold him back. Reigns pushes the referee out of the way and hits a spear. The referee eliminates Reigns.
Ambrose crawls towards Cena and attempts a cover. Cena kicks out. Cena gets behind Ambrose and locks on the STF. Before Ambrose can be forced to tap, the other members of The Shield run back to the ring. They leap into the ring and attack Cena.
Winner via DQ: John Cena
After the match the three on one attack continues. Cena is left sprawled out in the middle of the ring with his Title by his side.
Ryback’s music hits after The Shield has left the ring. He walks down and slides into the ring. He looks to attack Cena, but decides to walk back out of the ring. Ryback then heads back towards the ring and grabs a steel chair. He stands over Cena and slams the chair into the injured heel of Cena.
The vote is revealed for Big E. Langston’s opponent tonight: Jack Swagger.
Big E. Langston w/ AJ Lee v. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter
They lock up at the start. Swagger wants to set up for the Patriot Lock but Langston still has enough power to push him away. Langston is caught in a spinning slam and gets covered. Langston kicks out.
Back from the break, Langston drops Swagger to the mat and goes for the cover. Swagger kicks out. Swagger tries to fight back but Langston keeps him grounded. Langston flies at Swagger with a thundering shoulder block. The crowd has all but died during this match. Swagger heads up towards the corner. Jackson uses his strength to suplex Swagger back into the ring. Cover, but Swagger kicks out. Swagger responds from the attack with a Patriot Lock. Langston looks ready to tap, but is able to pull himself towards the bottom rope. Both men end up outside the ring. Langston slams Swagger into the barricade. Langston backs up and looks to charge with a follow up attack. Langston crashes into the barricade and Swagger rolls back into the ring.
Winner via Count Out: Jack Swagger
After the match Alberto Del Rio runs down to attack Swagger. Swagger is having none of this and knocks down Alberto and applies the Patriot Lock. Alberto escapes via the aid of Ricardo and steel bucket. Del Rio holds Swagger in the Cross Arm Breaker. Swagger tries to tap but this is not a match. Langston runs back into the ring to continue the attack on Swagger.
After the brawl Alberto Del Rio stands tall in the ring with Ricardo.
AJ Lee v. Natalya
The Bella Twins and also Kaitlyn are on commentary for this match. The Great Khali and Hornswoggle are also standing at ringside. Apparently they are playing detective to figure out the identity of Kaitlyn’s secret admirer. Cause, why not. There is a lot going on at ringside in this match as the commentators start to talk about The View and are paying no attention to this match. AJ wins, though thanks to a neglected sense of commentary I’ll leave it at that.
Matt Striker is interviewing Chris Jericho in the back. Jericho is in the back and he is fired up. He says that he is done with the joking and the games. He is a six time Champion. Jericho vows to teach Fandango how to dance Chris Jericho style.
HHH is in the ring as RAW returns from its final break. The steel cage is down over the ring. HHH has clearly put a lot of thought in the promo that he starts to deliver. He puts over his past as a fierce competitor. H explains that the steel cage can break the flesh and shatter your bones. HHH says that fans, cage and ring are here. He calls Lesnar down to the ring.
Paul Heyman begins to speak, but HHH cuts him off. He tells Lesnar to come down to the ring right now and fight. Heyman holds back Lesnar and says that it is interesting that HHH is using the word ‘hate’. Heyman nudges at the fact that hate is one of the words on the list of words that aren’t supposed to be used in the globally branded WWE corporation. Heyman says that Lesnar is a beast in a cage and will destroy HHH. Trips is nothing but a slab of meat. Heyman claims that HHH will hate facing his family and father in law. HHH is going to hate the fact that he will go down in history as a loser. Lesnar’s music hits and they look to leave.
HHH calls for the music to stop. He asks why it is that Lesnar refuses to face him like a man. Why is that that Lesnar won’t be a man. HHH says that the reason comes down to the fact that Heyman can’t afford to let Lesnar face him. HHH puts over the fact that he knocked Lesnar out at Wrestlemania and beat him. Heyman knows that if Lesnar comes down to the ring and HHH kicks his ass again it won’t e good for Heyman’s vision. Or, if HHH beats Lesnar again on Sunday than the sound that Heyman hears won’t just be the crowd but also the mystique of Lesnar and Heyman’s meal ticket flying out the window. HHH says that he knows Lesnar still believes that he is the toughest man standing in the ring. Heyman doesn’t believe that anymore. Heyman reassures Lesnar with a glance that HHH is lying. HHH speaks directly to Lesnar and invites him to comes down to the ring ad fight him right now. HHH calls Lesnar a bitch.
Lesnar has had enough and walks down towards the ring. There is a contingency of referees that try to stand between Lesnar and the ring but they are quickly deterred. Lesnar stands at the stairs and looks to walk into the steel cage as Heyman pleads for him to back off. Lesnar climbs each step slowly. Lesnar finally climbs into the steel cage and ring.
Lesnar and HHH start to unload on each other as Lesnar backs him into the corner. HHH quickly springs back and punches Lesnar. Pure strength prevails as Lesnar connects with a German Suplex which tosses HHH across the ring. HHH dodges a splash from Lesnar that sends him crashing into the steel post. HHH tosses Lesnar at the door and he knocks it open and wipes out Heyman and a few referees in the process.
HHH is calling from the ring for Lesnar to reenter and continue the fight. Lesnar decides to postpone the encounter until their match on Sunday. HHH climbs to the top of the cage and sits aloft as he waits to finish the encounter exclusively on PPV.