Raw is War
June 14, 1999
As RAW IS WAR kicked off, highlights were shown of Stone Cold Steve Austin's first day at the Titan Tower, the international headquarters of the World Wrestling Federation. After talking with some construction workers outside, the Rattlesnake walked in the building and told the receptionist that there's a new way to answer the phone. Instead of saying the customary, "World Wrestling Federation, how can I help you?" the new greeting, with Austin in charge, is "Who the hell is this? And what the hell do you want?"
At the arena, the Corporate Ministry marched to the ring. Vince and Shane McMahon said they were trying to think of the right stipulation for the match with Stone Cold Steve Austin at the King of the Ring. Since they had so many ideas, they figured they'd try a few out on RAW. In a "Dogg Pound Match," the Road Dogg would take on Mr. Ass, and the two superstars would be wearing dog collars and be connected with a chain. Since the McMahons were like Goliath and Austin was like David, Shane said they would try a special "David vs. Goliath Match" on RAW, with the Big Show taking on Shane's "old buddy" X-Pac! The Acolytes would face Kane in a Handicap Match, and Test would take on Big Bossman in a Blindfold Match! Of course, as punishment for Test asking Stephanie out last week, it would be only Test wearing a blindfold. Also, Ken Shamrock would be forced to put on a straitjacket for a match with Jeff Jarrett. Just as things appeared to be wrapping up in the ring, Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco came out and questioned Mr. McMahon's antics over the past few months-saying they couldn't believe what he put Stephanie through. Because the former stooges had the audacity to stand up to the boss, Mr. McMahon forced them into a tag team match with Mideon and Viscera on RAW!
The Road Dogg came out for his "Dogg Collar Match" with "Badd Ass" Billy Gunn, but Mr. Ass arrived wearing a neck brace. However, it was quickly revealed that Mr. Ass' neck was just fine, and the match got underway. Road Dogg used the chain to his advantage, wrapping it around his fist to pummel his former tag team partner and then placing it over Mr. Ass' face before dropping the knee. Just when it looked like Road Dogg would get the victory, Chyna appeared and broke up the count. Then the "Ninth Wonder of the World" used to chain to deliver an especially painful low blow to the Road Dogg. When the D-O-double G doubled over in pain, Mr. Ass dropped him with the Fame-Ass-Er and got the victory.
After the Undertaker Tombstoned The Rock on a steel chair last week on RAW, the "Great One" challenged the Federation Champion to a title match at King of the Ring! The Undertaker appeared and accepted, saying The Rock's "mouth is writing checks that your ass can't cash!" But Mr. McMahon quickly interrupted. He said if The Rock wanted a shot at the title, he would have to earn it by defeating the Undertaker on RAW! Shane added that there would be a special stipulation for the match-but The Rock wouldn't find out what it is until five minutes beforehand!
Ivory got her big chance at the Federation Women's Champion as she took on Debra! In a match that was anything but a scientific affair, the two ladies pulled hair and used Ivory's scarf as a weapon. When Jeff Jarrett distracted the referee, Nicole Bass - who had ambled down to ringside-climbed into the ring and choked out the Women's Champion! Ivory rolled up Debra and pinned her to win the title! After the match, the new champ walked outside and high-fived Nicole Bass. Apparently these two ladies have formed some sort of alliance!
Back at the Titan Tower, Stone Cold Steve Austin conducted his first board room meeting. He immediately fired a senior vice president, and promoted a mail room clerk to take over! Then he ordered all the executives into a beer-drinking contest, saying only those still standing when he returned would keep their jobs.
In a special "Blindfold Match" (or, as the McMahons called it, a "Blind Date Match"), Test was forced to put on a blindfold as he took on the Big Bossman. The match was obviously no contest, and the Bossman grabbed his nightstick and clobbered Test with it, earning himself a disqualification. When it looked like the Bossman wasn't finished, even though Test lay unconscious, Stephanie McMahon ran to the ring and stood between Bossman and Test until the Bossman left.
It was David against Goliath as X-Pac took on the Big Show. The 7 foot, 500 pounder said neither he nor X-Pac had anything to prove and he agreed to forfeit the match. But X-Pac, as usual, wouldn't back down, and he wanted to have the match, whether or not he got an ass whoopin'. Big Show tried to walk away, but X-Pac kicked him, and Big Show responded by tossing him out of the ring. Suddenly Kane emerged from the back and tried to take X-Pac's place, but the Minneapolis native wouldn't let him. X-Pac continued to get in Kane's face, and the Big Red Machine tossed him aside. X-Pac got right back up and delivered a spinning heel kick to Kane, and then another one to the Big Show. Big Show walked away, and Kane and X-Pac stood eye to eye in the ring.
Ken Shamrock was forced to wear a straitjacket when he took on archrival Jeff Jarrett. The Intercontinental Champion seemed a tad too overconfident-even though Shamrock could not use his arms, he still has two of the most educated feet in the business. The "World's Most Dangerous Man" used his legs to take down Jarrett and tie him up in various submission maneuvers. After a shoulderblock, Shamrock wrapped his legs around Jarrett's neck in a head scissors position. Before Jarrett was completely choked out, the Intercontinental Champion was forced to tap out! Shamrock was actually able to get the victory, albeit in a non-title match. However, Mr. McMahon stole the key to Shamrock's straitjacket from the referee and ran away!
The "real Americans" of the World Wrestling Federation, Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco, had apparently come up with a plan before their match with Viscera and Mideon. Mr. McMahon's former associated grabbed a couple of steel chairs and waited for their opponents. But the Mean Streets Posse attacked them from behind! It quickly became four on two, as Viscera and Mideon joined in and destroyed Patterson and Brisco!
At the Titan Tower, Stone Cold Steve Austin had an impromptu meeting with the Accounting Department. Austin ordered the accountant to "take a couple of zeros" off Vince McMahon's salary and give the money to Mick Foley to pay his medical bills. Also, he ordered that Shane McMahon's salary now be used for the beer budget!
In another match ordered by the McMahon boys, Kane took on the Acolytes in a Handicap Match. Kane absorbed a tremendous amount of punishment but just kept getting up. The Big Red Machine was closely to victory several times but constant interference from one of the Acolytes kept him from getting the pin. The end came when Bradshaw clobbered Kane with a chair and then both the Acolytes hit the Big Red Machine with a tandem belly-to-back suplex/neck breaker combination. X-Pac ran out after the match with a steel chair and ran off the Tag Team Champions.
Back at the Titan Tower, Stone Cold Steve Austin decided that Mr. McMahon's office was full of bull@#$%! With that in mind, Austin called in the construction workers from earlier. This time, the workers had filled their wheelbarrows with cow manure (bull@#$%)! Austin ordered them to dump the manure in McMahon's office, and then the new CEO dumped beer all over the pile!
After watching Austin's antics on a monitor, a couple of furious McMahons marched to the ring. Vince announced the stipulation for the Handicap Match at King of the Ring-a Ladder Match with 100 percent ownership in the company hanging above the ring. Shane was about to announce the stipulation for The Rock-Undertaker match on RAW, but Ken Shamrock, free from the straitjacket, sprinted to the ring, delivered a belly-to-belly suplex to Shane, and chased away Mr. McMahon.
If The Rock wanted a title shot at King of the Ring, he would have to defeat the Undertaker on RAW first. However, Triple H came out and announced that Shane's special stipulation was that The Rock would have to take on both he and the Undertaker! With Paul Bearer and Chyna at ringside, the odds were really stacked against The Rock. Undertaker threw The Rock toward the ropes, but The Rock reversed, and Chyna inadvertently tripped Undertaker! The champion went right after Chyna, grabbing her around the throat as if he were going to chokeslam her. Triple H came to Chyna's aid and the Undertaker ended up dropping his tag team partner's neck across the top rope. A dazed Triple H walked right into The Rock, who delivered the Rock Bottom and won the match to earn himself a title shot at King of the Ring! After the match, Triple H and Undertaker got into a slugfest and had to be separated by the other members of the Corporate Ministry!