Friday Night Smackdown!
Albany, New York
December 5, 2008
results thanks to pwtorch.com
[Q1]
-Extended clips aired of last week's Beat the Clock matches, ending with Vickie
Guerrero's announcement that Edge would defend against Triple H and Jeff Hardy
at Armageddon.
-The Smackdown opening aired. Then Jim Ross and Tazz introduced the show as the
camera panned the crowd. They don't announce the city they're in now because
they're taping two Smackdowns at a time and don't want to give away that they're
in the same city two weeks in a row. It does feel strange not having the city
they're in acknowledged, though.
1 -- EDGE vs. FUNANKI
Edge walked to the ring with Vickie Guerrero. Ross said "WWE higher ups"
intervened and put both Hardy and Triple into the title match at Armageddon.
Funaki jump-started the match and even hit a big DDT off the second rope for an
early pin attempt. He scored two more two counts with leverage pins before Edge
was able to gain his composure. Funaki hit a crane kick and scored another two
count. Edge had enough and nailed Funaki with a boot to the face, then finished
him with a spear. Ross said regarding Edge: "The eyes of that man tell a very
dangerous, complex story."
WINNER: Edge in 2:00.
-Vickie got into the ring and asked everyone to join her in another round of
applause for "their" WWE Champion, Edge. She said he looks so great and it's so
good to have him back on Smackdown. She said it's only fair that since he had to
compete tonight, his opponents at Armageddon also wrestle. She announced that
Triple H and Jeff Hardy will team together in a tag team gauntlet match. She let
out a big "Excuse me! Excuse me!" (I can't believe they don't have t-shirts for
that yet. Seriously, I think it'd be the best selling heel t-shirt in WWE for a
while.) She said the only way the match will end is when Hardy and Hunter
finally lose. She cackled with self-pleasure at her own evil scheme. Of course,
Hardy and Hunter should just lose on purpose right away.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
2 -- MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. MARIA
Maria took a bump by doing the splits mid-ring. Ross said, "That hurt me just
looking at it." McCool applied a bodyscissors and sleeper mid-ring at 2:00.
Maria fought out of it within 20 seconds and delivered a jaw-jacker. She elbowed
McCool as she charged her, then clotheslined her twice. Her clotheslines do not
look good. Maria ducked a McCool round kick and schoolgirled her for the win.
WINNER: Maria in 3:00.
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage Maria excitedly asked the other Divas backstage if they saw her win.
McCool walked up to her and kicked her in the gut. The other Divas just watched.
Carlito and Primo just stood there and watched, also.
-Tazz told Ross that two divas who used to be friends sure are going at it. Tazz
has a lot of grey in his goatee now. I remember back when he was an indy
wrestler walking around a bar with a lot of hair on his head, and now he's
almost professorial! Ross threw to the video package on Mr. Kennedy's first
movie, "Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia." Can't wait! Lots of things blowing up,
just like in Dukes of Hazard. Remember when Spike TV was The National Network,
they had "Pop," and they built their network around Raw and Dukes of Hazard?
-Big Show looked into the camera and said he had a big reminder of what he's
capable of. A video package aired on Undertaker taking the KO punch to the chin
against Big Show. After the video, he said it'll be just the two of them in a
cage with his fist, without any other tables or caskets or other gimmicks. He
said they're both going to hell and only one of them is coming back. Good promo,
but that blue screen has to go. It looked like it was just dying for a You Tube
spoof image to be added to the background.
[Commercial Break]
[Q3]
-WWE Fact: WWE is no. 2 in Yahoo searches for 2008! WWE beat Barack Omaba,
American Idol, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan, and Angelina Jolie.
-MVP addressed the crowd from mid-ring. He said that everyone knows he's been on
"an extraordinarily bad run of luck" lately. He said if it weren't for bad luck,
he'd have no luck at all. He said he wasn't able to secure the victory he needed
before Survivor Series, and as a result he lost his incentive clause. He said he
was going to take that money and buy some great gifts for his family, but now he
can't. (First O.J. earlier today and now a sob story from MVP.) He said WWE took
away his all-star entrance tunnel and his spectacular pryo display. He said what
they can't take away is everything that made him MVP. He said the man who pops
up and spouts off is about to popped in the mouth right now.
2 -- MVP vs. HURRICANE HELMS
Helms has a new entrance song. He's grown his hair out. Ross said it's been a
year since we've seen him in the ring. He said he had serious neck surgery. His
new look includes a much less cut physique. Tazz observed that MVP seemed a lot
less confident and cocky than before. The crowd chanted, "I'm just saying."
Well, I should say about five or six fans near a ring mic. It didn't catch on.
Helms hit a deep armdrag and then applied a cross armbreaker. MVP grabbed the
top rope right away to force a break. MVP came back with a big boot to the head.
Then he applied a cool mat hold where he wrapped up Hurrican'es arms with his
legs and then applied a headlock. The back and forth action continued for a
minute with Helms hitting MVP on the back with his spin round kick. Tazz pointed
out he wasn't even sure where he caught him because it didn't look good. Helms
pointed to the sky afterward, surely a signal to his mom and step-mom, both of
whom died in the last year. He seemed to get a bit choked out. In all honesty,
not an impressive return for him. His timing didn't seem right and the flabby
belly is something that doesn't go over well with Vince McMahon.
WINNER: Helms in 4:00.
-In a back hall, Triple H confronted Jeff Hardy. He told him if he gets in his
way tonight, he won't make it to Armageddon. Hardy said he's sick of him and
he'll see him in the ring. Hunter said if he wants to hit him in the head with a
chair again, "try it, try it." Hardy stared him down briefly, then walked away
without further word. Good way to add tension to their match right before it
begins.
-A commercial aired hyping Armageddon's Chris Jericho vs. John Cena match.
[Commercial Break]
[Q4]
3a -- TRIPLE H & JEFF HARDY vs. ZACH RYDER & CURT HAWKINS
Ryder and Hawkins are still with the promotion? Man, did they drop off the face
of the promotion. Ross noted again that WWE higher-ups intervened in last week's
controversy and forced the three-way match at Armageddon. Triple H tagged
himself in. Hardy didn't like that. Ryder jumped Triple H right away, but Triple
H gave him a spinebuster seconds later. He then gave him a Pedigree for the
apparent win. Hardy, though, dove off the top rope with a Swanton. Triple H had
to move. Hardy landed on Ryder. Hardy got up and had a brief staredown with
Triple H. Hawkins ran into the ring, so Hardy cut him off as Triple H went for
the pin. They shoved each other, but the music of Miz & John Morrison began.
WINNERS: Triple H & Hardy in 2:00.
[Commercial Break]
3b -- TRIPLE H & JEFF HARDY vs. MIZ & JOHN MORRISON
The match was joined in progress with Hardy beating up Miz. The fact that
wrestlers trust each other to just lie there as their opponent drops a knee
toward their forehead is one of the most amazing aspects of being a pro
wrestler. It cost Bret Hart against Goldberg, and Steve Austin against Owen
Hart, and Droz against D-Lo Brown among other screw-ups, but it's relatively
rare. After a couple minutes without disputes between Triple H and Hardy, Ross
said we shouldn't get a false sense of security about their ability to continue
to coexist peacefully. Miz and Morrison were able to double-team Triple H for
several minutes, tagging in and out while isolating Hunter. Hardy didn't seem
bothered by Hunter being on defense for so long.
[Q5]
At 8:00 Hunter hot-tagged Hardy. He cleaned house on both heels. Ross wondered
aloud how things would have gone at Survivor Series had Hardy participated as
scheduled. Four-way action broke out. Hardy launched himself onto all three
others on the floor, taking both opponents and his partner down to the floor
hard. Hunter recovered and attacked Hardy. He threw him into the steel steps and
then the ringside barrier. Several referees came out from the back to try to
restore order. Hardy reversed Hunter into the steps. The referees pulled them
apart. Several security members joined in.
WINNERS: Miz & Morrison via countout at 10:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Solid action. The heels were just extras as the real
purpose of this match was to build tension between Hunter and Hardy - which it
did with success. Well done segment, and it's nice to see Miz & Morrison not
sacrificed for Triple H. When Triple H is given a chance to plow through several
tag teams, he usually seizes the opportunity.
[Commercial Break]
-They replayed the brawl between Triple H and Hardy at ringside.
-Edge and Vickie gloated backstage after watching their plan play out. Edge said
those two can't see eye to eye. He laughed. Vickie said her plan was brilliant.
She said she's matching Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy one-on-one next week. Edge said
they'll tear each other apart and that's why she's brilliant. Vickie said she's
so glad he appreciates her. Hardy barged in and broke up their special moment.
Hardy said, "So you wanted to see me?" Edge said he wanted to set the record
straight because he's tired of him blaming them for taking him out of the
Survivor Series. He told him to think about who had the most to gain and the
least to lose - Triple H. Triple H walked in and said, "You wanted to see me?"
Hardy immediately pounced on Hunter. They had another pullapart brawl. Tazz
exclaimed: "Bedlam!" Security got everyone out of the room so Edge and Vickie
could make out. The camera thankfully zoomed in so we could really feel their
love.
[Commercial Break]
[Q6]
4 -- CHAVO GUERRERO vs. MATT HARDY
Ross said regarding Hardy, "Of course, we see him on Tuesday nights." That's
about as far as WWE goes these days in acknowledging the soft brand split that
sorta still exists but barely. They ought to just have ten exclusives with each
brand and then let everyone else float from brand-to-brand. It'd at least
explain why some wrestlers appear on multiple shows despite "belonging" to a
single specific brand. Hardy hit an early bulldog for a one count. One counts
are nice because they make two counts more dramatic. Ross began talking about
Randy Orton vs. Batista. He said he can't wait to see that match, years in the
making. Too bad it's a supporting match when it finally happens rather than the
centerpiece main event for a world title. At 3:00 the reason for this oddly
pointless match existing became clear as Vladimir Kozlov charged into the ring
and gave Hardy a boot to the face. He knocked Chavo out of the ring, then tied
Hardy's arms in the ropes. He headbutted him viciously and then trash-talked him
in Russian. Several zebras entered the ring and magically talked Kozlov into
leaving in peace. Kozlov returned to the back. They showed Hardy pointing at his
chest and gasping for breath as medics tended to him.
WINNER: No contest in 3:00.
-Backstage they showed The Great Khali gargling backstage. Ross said it was time
to lighten the mood a little with another Khali Kiss Cam. In a hilarious scene,
Ranjin Singh patted him on the back and Khali swallowed the mouthwash. He rubbed
his stomach and smiled.
[Commercial Break]
-The DX toy elimination chamber commercial aired.
-The Great Khali walked to the ring with Singh. He wore a big Santa hat. They
showed women jumping up and down in excitement at his arrival. They showed a lot
of WWE fans kissing. There were a lot of "How did he/she end up with her/him?"
mismatches this week. Singh then asked who wanted to kiss Khali. Khali continued
to act bashful. The camera showed various woman, including a sixtysomething
woman who didn't know she was on camera until someone nudged her. She laughed
when she saw she was on the big screen. Singh said he wanted to offer some help.
He called out "Santa's little helper." Chrismas Eve walked out (get it, it's
Eve). Ross said he'd rather give than receive. Singh told Khali to hold
mistletoe above her head. He did, and then Eve kissed him. It was a good solid
four second basic lip lock, for those wanting play-by-play. Sing said, "As Great
Khali says, make love, not war." Tazz said it must be great to be the Great
Khali.
[Commercial Break]
5 -- THE BIG SHOW vs. UNDERTAKER -- Cage Match
This was the least hyped mega-match ever on Smackdown. They just didn't do a
good job providing the proper sense of this being a big deal during the show.
Other than that Show soundbite earlier, you'd hardly know it was scheduled. When
Taker entered the ring after his elaborate ring entrance, Show smiled and looked
as eager to play as Kevin Garnett just before tipoff. Show powered Taker into
the corner as soon as the bell rang and pounded him with headbutts and body
blows. This started with 18 minutes left in the show, plenty of time for a
memorable TV main event if they're up for it and booked for it. Show set up
Taker for a corner swing splash. Taker moved, although Show's legs still caught
Taker. Show struggled to get up. Taker recovered and got to his feet at the same
time. Taker punched Show against the cage. Then he tested the strength of the
cage walls by taking running starts with a body check and a big boot. On the
third charge, Show caught him with an elbow. Show threw Taker into the side of
the cage.
[Q8]
[Commercial Break]
Show remained on offense after the break, throwing Taker into the cage. At 6:00
Taker showed signs of a comeback. At 8:00 Taker went to the top rope for his
walk-the-rope spot, but Show punched out of it and hit a superplex. By 9:00 they
both climbed to the top rope and exchanged punches. Taker eventually hit Show
with a barrage of short jabs to Show's face. Show was unsteady and teetered for
a dramatic few seconds before collapsing to the mat. Taker climbed to the top of
the cage, did the cut-throat gesture, and then rolled his eyes backward. Then
rather than climb to the floor to win, he went for a top rope legdrop. Show
moved. Taker landed with a thud. Show made the cover, but Taker rolled his left
shoulder up just before three. A minute later Taker countered a chokeslam
attempt with a DDT. He made the cover. Show kicked out just before three. At
13:00 Show went for a chokeslam. Show powered out and chokeslammed Taker. Show
fell backward afterward, but then crawled over for the cover. Taker powered out
just before three. Taker blocked a right hand megapunch by Show. When e charged
at Show seconds later, Show KO'd him with his megapunch. Just as Tazz declared
Taker knocked out unconscious, Taker sat up. Show grabbed him by the throat.
Taker slipped on his Heaven's Gate submission. Show struggled to escape, but
eventually tapped out. Ross called it an amazing confrontation between two
rivals. The show ended as Taker celebrated the win.
WINNER: Undertaker in 15:00.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Some big spots and good near fall drama, but pretty
plodding and slow paced most of the time, so it's neither a must see classic nor
a total bomb.