Raw
Dallas, Texas
December 7, 2009
results thanks to pwtorch.com
After the usual WWE Raw intro, the show opened with a pyro intro inside the AAC
as Michael Cole plugged the "revolutionary" TLC PPV coming up on Sunday. No
obituary or "In Memory" for Umaga, of note. Cole and Jerry Lawler then plugged
U.S. champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry for the U.S. Title tonight. Also, Chris
Jericho vs. DX in a handicap match.
In-ring: Justin Roberts welcomed out Raw guest host Mark Cuban after a plug for
HDNet. Cuban emerged from the stands and saluted the NBA Mavericks fans in the
arena. He introduced himself and said he's excited to guest host the show. He
then asked where the Mavs fans are. Ugh. Sorry, Rockets fan here. Cuban said
fans see him get crazy ringside during Mavs games, but he'll get crazier hosting
Raw. He said he's got a showdown later on tonight between Sheamus (boos) and his
main man, the WWE champion John Cena (kids screaming). Cuban said he'll give
them a face-to-face verbal fight. But, he knows what people came here for and he
kicked off the show.
On cue, John Cena's music hit to a huge reaction. He's in a singles match to
start the show. Out as his opponent was Carlito to play up last week's deal with
Carlito representing the locker room against Cena. Ringside, the Bella Twins
were shown sitting next to Cuban in the front row.
1 -- WWE champion JOHN CENA vs. CARLITO -- non-title match
Carlito was aggressive early on with blows to the face as Lawler danced around
the topic of wrestlers in the locker room being jealous of Cena's spot. Carlito
scored an early nearfall that put Cena in jeopardy, but Cena shook off a busted
bottom lip and started to set up the Five Knuckle Shuffle routine, but Sheamus's
music interrupted. Sheamus came out on stage and Cuban hopped over the railing
to stand between Sheamus and Cuban. Cuban told Sheamus to stop in his tracks,
then local independent wrestlers dressed as security showed up to stand
in-between Sheamus and Cuban. Back in the ring, Cena was distracted, which
allowed Carlito to jump Cena from behind. Carlito wanted the backstabber, but
Cena transitioned in mid-air to the Attitude Adjustment for the pin and the win.
Afterward, Cena high-fived Cuban and Mavs players ringside including Shawn
Marion.
WINNER: Cena at 3:03. Seemed like a random match thrown out there, but with a
back-story involving Carlito. It was also odd to see Cena early on Raw, as WWE
usually saves him for the end of the show. The whole thing was odd without the
15-minute opening talking heads segment to start the show. (n/a)
Championship Showdown plug: Cena vs. Sheamus up later for a verbal chat.
[Commercial Break]
Next week plug: They plugged the three-hour Raw next week for the Slammys Award
show. The video package included Jim Ross's voice back on Raw calling Undertaker
vs. Shawn Michaels. WWE then plugged Dennis Miller guest-hosting the show.
[Q2]
In-ring: Randy Orton's music hit and out came Orton flanked by Legacy. Orton
addressed Cuban that the Championship Showdown tonight will end in complete and
utter chaos. He told Cuban to do what he wants him to do - lift the ban on his
WWE Title shot as long as John Cena is champion. Cuban shook his head no several
times. DiBiase then took mic and said he knows rich people have pride, but they
don't have to be stupid. He said they didn't want to do this, but they should
take a look at the footage from the last time Orton and Cuban were in a ring
together. Cue up footage from Survivor Series 2003 when Orton snuck up behind
Cuban to give him the RKO. Cuban was not happy looking at the footage again.
Cuban said he had a feeling it would go down this way, but here's the deal:
Orton is not fighting the winner of TLC. "No way," he said.
Cuban added that Orton got lucky last week against Kofi Kingston because the WWE
refs are worse than NBA refs and they didn't stop the match when Legacy attacked
Kingston. He said he knows Orton is a competitor, so here's the deal: Orton vs.
Kofi again tonight. But. But. He will be the referee. Cuban said he's in charge
and he's the guest host, so deal with it. Cody Rhodes interrupted and said Orton
isn't Kenyon Martin or his mother because this man - Orton - can and actually
will hurt him. Cody called out the Mavs for being all-talk. He asked them if
they want to do something memorable in this arena other than losing in the
Playoffs. Cuban told Cuban to take up his challenge from the Dallas Morning-News
and fight him tonight. If Cody wins, Cuban lifts Orton's ban. Cody left the ring
and got right up to Mark to see what he has to say. Cuban proposed something to
Cody that they take this up in June after the Mavericks win the NBA Title. Cuban
told them to get lost, then there was a not-so-smooth transition to Evan
Bourne's music and out came Bourne and Primo to apparently face Legacy. PYB (3)
talk time: 6:25. They were going for the cheap local heat dropping bombs on the
Mavs and it worked pretty well to get the live crowd riled up.
[Commercial Break]
[Q3]
2 -- LEGACY (TED DIBIASE & CODY RHODES) vs. PRIMO & EVAN BOURNE
They joined the action in progress and Cole said Cuban was watching Superstars
on Thursday to book this re-match. C'mon, Cole. Legacy cut off Primo throughout
the early going as Cuban clapped and encouraged Primo from ringside. Cody and
Primo then butted heads in the corner and Primo went to the usual babyface
corner, but they switched up the corners and Bourne was in the usual heel
corner. Bourne took a hot tag and started flying on folks before going up top.
DiBiase cut him off, though, and teased a superplex, but Bourne shoved DiBiase
down and landed his double knee smash. Cody broke up a pin attempt, though, and
Primo yanked him to the ground. Bourne wanted a kick strike back in the ring,
but DiBiase hit Dream Street from behind for the win.
Post-match: Cuban got in Justin Roberts's ear to give him an announcement.
Roberts announced that Cuban is having Cody and Ted ejected from the AAC. Legacy
threw a fit, but out came the indy security to escort Legacy away from ringside.
So, they're removed from the Orton vs. Kofi situation for later on.
WINNERS: Legacy at 3:33. Short tag match to give Legacy a win, but then have
them get immediate comeuppance to cover for another Bourne loss. Fine angle to
build up Orton vs. Kofi later on. (3/4*)
Announcers: Cole cited the day Sheamus came over to Raw to set up his path of
destruction leading to a title match against John Cena. They rolled footage of
Sheamus "making an impression" on Raw, including the storyline of putting Jamie
Noble out of WWE. After the video aired, Lawler plugged Cena-Sheamus in the
verbal showdown later on.
[Commercial Break]
TLC promo: They ran the video promo on wrestlers turned into crash dummies
brutalizing their bodies with chair shots, falling off ladders, etc.
In-ring: Kelly Kelly was in the ring as special guest ring announcer for a divas
match. Out came Maryse and they rolled footage of Maryse pinning Melina in a
divas tag match last week. After Maryse completed her not-PG ring entrance, Gail
Kim came out to face her.
3 -- MARYSE vs. GAIL KIM
Well, that was quick. Maryse picked up a quick win in less than two minutes to
continue building her up to face Melina for the Divas Title. Post-match, Maryse
stomped out of the ring and approached Kelly Kelly "Mean Girls" style. She cut a
promo on Kelly, who then shoved her and a cat fight was on ringside. Suddenly,
Melina stormed out to ringside and cleared away Maryse, who smiled her heel
smile from the opposite side of the ring. Melina checked on Kelly ringside to
close the segment.
WINNER: Maryse at 1:43. Basic, short divas match where the post-match angle took
precedent. (n/a)
Tonight: Kofi vs. Orton with Cuban in zebra stripes.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: DX skit time. There was a Hulk Hogan DVD poster. Triple H then turned
around and said it's time to spread some holiday cheer. Hunter slapped Shawn
Michaels on the back to get him to turn around. Michaels with the
tongue-in-cheek plugs for merchandise before the camera panned down to show them
wearing green DX shoes. Wow. Michaels, playing the Uncle Eddie character,
decided they should play the Smackdown vs. Raw video game. Hunter accused
Michaels of being a re-gifter, then Hunter pulled out a big present. He said he
talked to a nice Pakastani lady on the phone who promised years of enjoyment.
Out came Hornswoggle sporting a new DX t-shirt with Hornswoggle in the middle of
Michaels and Hunter. Hornswoggle grunted and grunted. Michaels translated that
Hornswoggle has invented a new DX t-shirt and it's illegal, but he's doing it
anyways. Michaels then talked Star Wars, prompting a debate between Michaels and
Hunter on Star Wars. Suddenly, Hunter and Michaels pulled out scripts from their
pockets and asked who wrote this crap. A stagehand ran away, then Hornswoggle
was shown trying to get Michaels's Cowboy hat that was hanging atop their
Christmas tree. Hornswoggle then fell on top of DX and the tree crashed down on
them. DX fell on the ground and Horny did crotch chops to close out five
waste-of-time minutes of TV.
Announcers: Cole and Lawler plugged WWE's renewed contract with British Sky
Broadcasting. Lawler was produced to waste 30 seconds reading the press release.
Cole transitioned into plugging Sheamus and Sheamus attacking Lawler at MSG last
month with a video package to emphasize the point.
Up later: Cena vs. Sheamus verbal showdown.
Backstage: Kofi Kingston was shown confidently walking backstage. To recap this
commercial-to-commercial segment: a waste-of-time DX skit, a press release
reading, another video package, and another plug for Cena-Sheamus later on.
[Commercial Break]
ECW plug: Will the Ruthless Roundtable come apart at the seams? Three-hour Raw
plug: Dennis Miller hosts the Slammys next week.
In-ring: Mark Cuban was shown wearing a referee shirt in-ring before Randy Orton
came out for the top-of-the-hour main event. Out next was Kofi Kingston to be
part of the match WWE hopes will get on ESPN.
4 -- RANDY ORTON vs. KOFI KINGSTON
Kofi and Orton locked up and Kofi drove Orton to the corner before clotheslining
Orton over the top rope to the floor. Kofi then bounced off the opposite ropes
and nailed a suicide dive through the ropes on the floor. Kofi rolled Orton back
into the ring, but missed with a corner splash back in the ring. Orton then hit
a knock-down clothesline to slow down Kofi and begin a methodical attack.
[Q5 -- second hour]
Orton slowly paced the ring to draw boos as Cuban stood back in the corner
observing the proceedings. Orton landed a knee drop, then settled into a good
old fashioned Orton reverse chinlock to wear down Kingston. Crowd rallied behind
Kofi, then Orton started jawing with Cuban, who pointed to his referee t-shirt
to remind Orton what's up. Kofi made a comeback, then fired off a bunch of right
hands and Cuban interjected to break up before a five count. Kofi then followed
up with more right hands and European Uppercut. Kofi followed with the Boom Drop
before beginning his hand clap motion to set up his finisher. Orton ducked
Trouble in Paradise, then dropped Kofi with his fallaway backbreaker move. Orton
shot Cuban a glare, then he pounded his fists on the mat to stalk Kofi for the
RKO. Kofi blocked, though, and put Orton in the backslide pin where Cuban made
the fastest three count ever to give Kofi the win.
Post-match: The crowd popped and Orton was seething in the ring after getting
screwed by Cuban. Cuban told Orton he waited six years for payback and now he
got him. Cuban then booked Orton vs. Kofi in the rubber match at TLC. Cole liked
the sound of that and said each one has a win "albeit...under weird
circumstances." It was just funny how Cole emphasized "weird." Cuban then
celebrated with Kofi to close the segment.
WINNER: Kingston at 5:23. Fine, albeit short match between these two. WWE isn't
expecting the match-up to sell the PPV, so they're obviously not too concerned
about protecting the match-up for PPV. The chemistry between Kofi and Orton was
good for five minutes. (**)
Video package: Another look at Sheamus "on the war path" with the victory in the
Breakthrough Battle Royal two weeks ago to get the shot at Cena. A brief sound
byte from Jesse Ventura in the video package, but mainly Vince McMahon calling
the match. Back to the announcers. Lawler said they'll have the showdown between
Sheamus and "John Sheamus" later in the show. It is a tongue-twister,
admittedly. Also up later: DX vs. Chris Jericho.
Backstage: They showed Mark Henry walking down the hallway with MVP. Henry has a
U.S. Tile shot up next five hours away from his hometown of Silsbee, Texas.
[Commercial Break]
In-ring: The Miz came to the ring first for the U.S. Title match. Mark Henry
then came out and they rolled footage of the horribly awkward dancing by "Mini
Me" Verne Troyer on last week's show.
[Q6]
5 -- U.S. champion THE MIZ vs. MARK HENRY -- U.S. Title match
They had an early spot to get the crowd involved where Henry teased sitting on
Miz's face after blocking a sunset flip, but Miz moved and went on the attack.
Henry came back, though, and went for a gorilla press, only to have Miz gouge
Henry in the eyes to avoid the attack. Miz then dropkicked Henry to the floor
before dropkicking Henry head-first into the ring steps. Henry then re-entered
the ring and Miz wanted a top rope splash, but Henry caught him in mid-air.
Henry wanted the World's Strongest Slam, but Miz countered in mid-air with a
swinging DDT. Miz then made the pin for the win. Whoa. Lawler built up Miz for
"turning it up a notch" with the title on the line.
WINNER: Miz at 2:37. Miz with a clean pin on Henry. And now we're Even-Steven
after last week, but Miz's win was pretty strong this week. It sure looked like
they were going to have retain via count-out, so the finish exceed expectations
for building up Miz as a credible threat in the ring. (*)
Backstage: Chris Jericho talked strategy with Big Show, who stood motionless
with his chest puffed out.
Jeff Hardy DVD: They plugged the Jeff Hardy DVD while he's still faced with the
charges. I hope he's receiving royalties to pay the legal fees. Check out Sean
Radican's DVD review in this week's Torch Newsletter.
[Commercial Break]
Ringside: They showed Chris Masters in a dress shirt trying to talk to Mark
Cuban. "Hey, bro, can you give me a job where I don't have to flex my pecs to
get a paycheck?"
In-ring: Hornswoggle came to the ring with Eve randomly. They're in a mixed tag
match against Chavo Guerrero and Jillian. Oh great, we're back to Hornswoggle
vs. Chavo.
6 -- HORNSWOGGLE & EVE vs. CHAVO GUERRERO & JILLIAN
WWE didn't give the audience any indication why this match was taking place.
Anyways, the match started with Hornswoggle vs. Chavo, then Eve and Jillian
battled for a bit. Jillian tried a handspring smash, but Eve got her knees up.
Eve then hit a handspring splash and scored the pin for the win. Post-match:
Chavo teased taking out Hornswoggle again, but Eve stood up to Chavo. Chavo then
chucked Horny down, Suddenly, Chris Masters entered the ring and took off his
dress shirt. He confronted Chavo and sold he wanted a piece of Chavo. Chavo then
pounded on Masters's money-making pecs a few too many times, prompting Masters
to begin flexing his left pec. Chavo checked down at his pecs to see he didn't
have that kind of power. Eve was kind of grossed out. Chavo then tried a
clothesline, but Masters ducked and put him in the Masterlock before delivering
a full-nelson slam. Masters then checked on Eve to make sure she was okay before
flexing his pecs some more and Eve smiled and giggled. Masters left with Eve,
then Horny tried to flex his pecs, but he realized he didn't have that power
either. So, he just delivered some crotch chops in Chavo's direction.
WINNERS: Horny & Eve at 2:20. Don't ask for an explanation. We're just going to
move along. (n/a)
Video package: More Sheamus destruction, this time on Santino Marella. So,
what's going to happen later with Cena-Sheamus?
[Q7]
[Commercial Break - Smackdown plug for tomorrow night's Smackdown TV taping in
Houston. C.M. Punk, Chris Jericho, and Rey Mysterio have been advertised for
three months. I'll be covering the taping tomorrow night, so check for my SD/ECW
taping report on Tuesday night.]
In-ring: Michael Cole was in the ring with Jerry Lawler to break down the TLC
PPV featuring "some of the most dangerous matches the WWE Universe has ever
witnessed." Cole almost jumped out of his suit trying to give the final hard
sell for the PPV from San Antonio.
In-ring: Chris Jericho came to the ring for the TV main event sporting a beard
from the Iraq trip. No Big Show. After a recap of last week's main event where
Hunter beat Jericho, they cut to a shot of Jericho standing in the ring. There
were about 10-15 "Jericho Sucks" signs being held by fans behind the announce
table. Lawler told him not to turn around. Jericho then took the mic and vowed
to win every 2009 WWE award at the Slammy's next week. Jericho said DX has
created a lie that he'll lose at TLC and be off Raw. He said he's omnipotent
because he does what he wants when he wants. Jericho said he'll break DX using
tables at the TLC PPV, then he paused for a "You Suck" chant. He said he's never
been vanquished from WWE and he never will. He then called the fans troglodytes
and said they will never forget him. Troglodytes (noun): a member of any of
various peoples (as in antiquity) who lived or were reputed to live chiefly in
cave; a person characterized by reclusive habits or outmoded or reactionary
attitudes. Nice.
[Commercial Break]
Smackdown plug: Rey Mysterio vs. Batista in a street fight.
In-ring: Chris Jericho was still in the ring waiting out his theme music. DX
then came to the ring for the handicap match main event as Cole summed up
Jericho's promo: "DX is going to lose, and that's a fact." That would have saved
some time. DX did their pyro intro as Cole gave DX the "Hulkamania" build-up and
verbiage on commentary.
7 -- DX (SHAWN MICHAELS & TRIPLE H) vs. Unified tag champion CHRIS JERICHO --
handicap match
Jericho and Michaels started things off, then Hunter tagged in and worked over
Jericho. DX began exchanging tags before Michaels blasted Jericho with a chop
across the chest. Lawler said many people in the "WWE Universe" were enjoying
this beating on Jericho, who had nowhere to go to avoid punishment. Suddenly,
Jericho shoved the ref into Hunter. With the ref down, Big Show lightly jogged
to ringside and palmed Shawn Michaels by the head to give him a headbutt. Show
started landing clubbing blows, but Hunter had a chair. He put it across Show's
back, then Show turned around and was not happy. Show then punched the chair and
the chair kinda sorta deflected into Hunter's face. Michaels tried to pull out a
ladder, but Jericho dropkicked it into Michaels's stomach. Show then rammed the
ladder into Hunter and Michaels's stomachs before Jericho and Show placed DX
inside the ladder like a sandwich. Show held the top rung down for Jericho to
crack the chair over the ladder, with the object for DX to feel the
reverberations. Jericho then grabbed the tag belts and yelled "never, never,
never" down at DX. Jericho then climbed the ladder and stood atop the ladder
while DX sold pain on the mat. Show's music played as the tag champs were in
control.
WINNER: No decision or announcement around 3:35. The obvious conclusion is that
DX gets the belts on Sunday, but WWE could just find another way for JeriShow to
get their comeuppance without DX winning the belts. DX doesn't need the belts,
so WWE probably went this route to get folks worked up to order the PPV to see
JeriShow just take a beating for 15 minutes in the TLC match before Jericho
grabs the belts by the skin of his teeth to win. (*)
Backstage: They showed John Cena and Sheamus on a split-screen walking down the
hallway for the confrontation.
Tribute plug: Cue up the heart-string-pulling images for WWE's "Tribute to the
Troops" show on NBC in two Saturdays.
[Commercial Break]
Ringside: Dallas Cowboys Hall of Famer Michael Irvin was shown sitting ringside.
In-ring: Mark Cuban was at the podium to set up the Championship Showdown for
the final segment on Raw to sell the PPV. Sheamus came out first, followed by
WWE champion John Cena to sit at the opposite end of a long table with Cuban in
the middle.
[Q9 -- over-run]
Cuban gave the guidelines: three questions with each participant have time to
answer with nothing off limits. Sheamus was asked why he'll win on Sunday.
Sheamus stood up, took his mic, and took us back to June 2002 when Cena made his
debut. He said it took Cena three years to win his first title, but he'll win
his first in a matter of weeks. Sheamus said the reality is Cena's body crashing
through a table on Sunday. Cena had his stern mad face. "No Comment," he said
without looking up. Cuban asked Sheamus if he's concerned about competing in a
tables match. He said Cena obviously isn't concerned enough. Sheamus told Cena
if he's going to be in any condition to face him again after TLC, he's even
dumber than he thought. Sheamus said he might even put Cena through a table a
few extra times after he wins the title. He said Cena has never faced anyone
like him. "Your title, your health, your state of mind - this Sunday, your'e
going to lose everything." Cena took the mic and teased talking with his serious
facial expression on. "Cena, Cena" was the chant. He stared at Sheamus, put the
mic back, and said, "No comment."
Cuban sighed, then went to question three as Cena sold dejection. You could see
where this is going. Cuban then asked Sheamus or Cena for one final comment.
Cena finally sprung to life and said he notices Sheamus talks a lot, but he
hopes Sheamus believes what he's saying. Cena said he's been here for seven
years. He paused for the crowd to cheer with a few mixed boos. Cena said he's
wrestled one-hit wonders, up-stars, future Hall of Famers, everyone from Shawn
Michaels to Kevin Federeline. He said they've always come looking for him and
he's never gone looking for a fight. Cena said some people have wanted to beat
him just to wipe the smile off his face. He said he's bean beaten, battered,
hospitalized, operated on, hit with chairs, been in arenas where thousands stand
behind him (cheers), and in arenas where thousands of people can't stand him
(males interjected with boos). Cena said he believes in what he talks about.
And, most of all, he believes in being able to say, "The champ is here." Cena
turned to Sheamus and said he better believe that one cheap shot and a table
smash isn't going to affect him. He told Sheamus to back up what he says or
he'll make him a footnote in WWE history. Cena told Sheamus to let this sink in:
"You impress me, but not for one second do you intimidate me." Sheamus
over-turned his end of the table, then Cena chucked his office chair out of the
ring and over-turned his table. Cena threw down the podium, then Sheamus shoved
Cuban to the mat and kicked Cena square in the face. Sheamus cleared the ring as
they replayed Sheamus knocked down Cuban and Cena. Crowd was hot for Cena as
they replayed Sheamus giving Cena the bicycle kick. Sheamus set up the table in
the corner, then he stalked Cena and kicked him in the head again. Cuban slowly
got up and Sheamus looked at him like he's nuts. Cuabn slowly walked up to
Sheamus, who stared back at him until Cuban shoved Sheamus down. Sheamus slowly
got back up to his feet and stared down Cuban, who stood tall. Sheamus then
kneed Cuban in the gut and stood over him. Sheamus picked up Cuban and teased
putting him through the table, then he turned around and ran Cuban through the
table to put an emphatic end to the action.
After Sheamus got his shine standing tall while Cena was out cold, some Mavs
hopped over the guardrail and teased coming into the ring. They were smiling a
bit too much being part of the show, so WWE cut away from the Mavs players as
Sheamus pounded his chest and walked away up the entrance ramp. Sheamus stood
tall, medics checked on Cuban, and Cena finally stood up in the ring. At 15
minutes past the top of the hour, Cena took off his t-shirt and stared a hole
through Sheamus as if to say he's a dead man on Sunday. PYB (3) talk time:
16:05.
JC: Heck of a segment to sell the PPV on Sunday. Sheamus is a star. They walked
a fine line with Cuban looking tough standing up to Sheamus, but Sheamus putting
Cuban through the table was an exclamation point on three weeks of major
build-up for Sheamus as a top-flight heel. WWE certainly put together some great
TV in this segment trying to get folks to buy the PPV on Sunday.