Raw
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
March 1, 2010
results thanks to wrestleview.com
Are you ready? Then stop
questioning your heart and join me, because it is time for Monday Night RAW!
The show kicks off with the one and only “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels making
his way down to the ring. He puts over the fact that despite a certain level of
intimidation which comes from The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak,
he is up to the challenge. Don’t forget, he is “Mr. Wrestlemania” after all.
Michaels says that there are those in the back who do not believe that he can
achieve this seemingly impossible task. Shawn calls for anyone who thinks he
cannot end the streak to come down to the ring and tell him to his face.
Triple H’s music hits! Shawn asks how his good friend can have the gall to come
out to the ring. Hunter says that he doesn’t “think” Shawn can’t beat the
Undertaker, he “knows” Shawn CAN! HHH says that he has wrestled uncountable
stars during his WWE career, but Shawn is the most talented star he has ever
worked with in the ring. He says that Shawn has no peers in the back, because he
is simply that great. HHH notes that he and Shawn always seem to go down
different paths on the road to Wrestlemania, but DX will never die. That being
said, it will be a long time until the WWE Universe sees them in the ring
together again. In his next breath, Hunter says that he does not want the last
image of the two of them in the ring together to be of them losing the Unified
Tag Team Championship match. So, he is invoking their rematch clause for a match
tonight!
HHH points out that a Champion does not need to defend the belt for 30 days,
technically, so their first Title defense does not have to be until 28 days from
now when Monday Night RAW is on the air the day after Wrestlemania. Hunter is so
confident in Shawn beating the Undertaker, that he has no qualms about winning
the Title tonight. HHH says that he believes in Shawn, and asks Shawn what it is
that he believes. HBK says that he believes they have some Tag Team Titles to
win tonight!
In the back we see Cheech & Chong examining their office. The Bella Twins come
into the office to flirt with them. They ask for tickets to one of the Cheech &
Chong tour shows, and offer to give them a tour around the building. Cheech
leaves with the Bella’s and Chong stays in the back. Hornswoggle enters with a
box of Lucky Charms. Chong takes a handful of the cereal and the room begins to
spin, as apparently ‘swoggle has psychedelic Lucky Charms. Sure, why not?
****Commercial****
Video package airs highlighting Randy Orton turning on Legacy last week.
Randy Orton v. Ted Dibiase
Randy and Ted lock up with Orton being backed into the corner. Ted connects with
a knee to the gut, forearm to the face, and shoulder to the gut. Ted then tries
to set Randy up on the turnbuckle, but Orton knocks him off. Ted gets to his
feet and connects with a dropkick. Dibiase throws Orton to the outside and
follows him out. Randy grabs Ted’s head and throws it into the steel post. Orton
the attempts to roll Ted back into the ring, but Dibiase continues to roll and
heads to the outside on the other side of the ring.
****Commercial****
We come back and Orton and Ted are still fighting each other in the ring. Ted
Dibiase gets Orton trapped into a headlock. Orton begins to fight back as Cody
Rhodes runs down to the ring to make the save. Orton is pretty pissed off as he
starts to go after both members of Legacy. The young stars retreat up the ramp.
No Contest
****Commercial****
We are taken to a live shot of the parking lot where Bret Hart emerges from his
limo, wearing a cast on his left leg.
In the back, Chong is now in his psychedelic Lucky Charm state while petting
Eve. Cheech comes in, and asks Chong what the hell is going on. He sees the box
of cereal, and yells at Chong. Cheech says that Chong is not allowed to have
sugar, it gives him a sugar high! Chong says he is fine, Cheech asks if that’s
the case, then why is he stroking William Regal’s hair? The camera shot changes
and Regal is in the position which Eve was just moments ago. Chong apologizes
and asks if he can still hang out with Kelly Kelly. The camera shows Kelly (aka
Chris Masters). Chris says (in Kelly’s voice), now can you please stop staring
at my chest? He does a couple chest flexes for good measure. After he leaves,
Hornswoggle makes his way back into the office. He offers the cereal to Cheech
this time. After a few moments, Cheech also enters the Lucky Charm Trip.
A video package airs highlighting the feud between John Cena and Batista.
****Commercial****
Video package airs highlighting Christian defeating Carlito last week to qualify
for the Money in the Bank Ladder Match at Wrestlemania.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
Jack Swagger v. Santino Marella
The match starts off with Santino doing a split to dodge a clothesline from Jack
Swagger. This momentary upper hand does not last for long, as Swagger hits his
Gut Wrench Powerbomb and ends this one early.
Winner via Blue Thunder Bomb: Jack Swagger
In the back we see Batista emerging from his locker room. He is flanked by a
posse of security guards.
****Commercial****
John Cena makes his way out to the ring and picks up the mic. He addresses the
fact that a lot of people are saying that Batista stole the Title from him. Cena
says that it was not about being screwed, it was about business. Batista made
the intelligent decision to scratch Mr. McMahon’s back in order to win the
Title. Cena counter though, that last week it got personal. Batista not only
ambushed him, but continued to beat him up until he could not fight back. Cena
says that still there is a silver lining, he is going to Wrestlemania. John says
that after last week he needs to pay Mr. Batista back, and that should go down
right now!
Batista’s music hits, and he makes his way out to the entrance ramp still
flanked by his security guards. Cena makes fun of Batista for having all of the
security guards. Batista says that they aren’t there for his protection, they
are there for Cena’s. John asks Batista to come into the ring so that he can
“thank” him for the consideration. Cena calls Batista a 6’6” pansy.
Batista stays on the ramp, and says that the reason he did what he did last week
was because he wants to face John at Wrestlemania. Batista says that he and Cena
are the two biggest stars since the Attitude Era. They both won Championships at
Wrestlemania 21, and never looked back. But for some reason, the company has
decided to name Cena as the face of the company. They give him Championships,
magazine covers, commercials, movies, you name it. Somehow the torch was passed
from Stone Cold to Cena, when it should have gone to Batista. Dave says that HE
should be the biggest star in the company. ‘Tista did what he did last week for
two reasons. First, so that he can kick the hell out of Cena at Wrestlemania.
The second, is because he just can’t stand John.
Cena says that Batista needs to focus up, because he is going to beat him at
Wrestlemania. John says that the reason he has become the face of the company is
because he works his butt off. Everyone knows that he has given his life for the
business. Dave on the other hand, expects the business to be handed to him. Cena
calls him selfish. Says that Batista has been, and always will be selfish.
Batista agrees and says that he does not care about the fans. He is not here for
cheers or boos, he is here to win the Title. Batista tells Cena to continue
kissing babies and hugging fat girls, because he is going to be in the gym
training for Wrestlemania. Batista says that it is a fact that whenever the two
of them are in the ring together, bad things happen to Cena. It wasn’t too long
ago that he broke Cena’s neck.
Before Cena can retort, Batista cuts him off. He tells John that he can bark all
he wants, but it doesn’t matter. He tells Cena to use one of his cute
catchphrases, because everyone wants to hear what John has to say. Batista says
that Cena can’t beat him, and deep down, John knows that to be true. The segment
ends without Cena responding. Batista shows the Title off at the top of the ramp
as we go to commercial.
****Commercial****
In the back the heavily Lucky Charm influenced Cheech & Chong are sitting with
Chavo Guerrero. They made him dress up with a mustache and sombrero. Chavo is
not too pleased. Cheech then invites in his other Mexican amigos, Primo &
Carlito. Primo says that they aren’t Mexican and don’t even like each other.
Cheech says “forget you”. The camera cuts to Katie Lea, also in a mustache who
says that she is “bloody British”. Then Yoshi Tatsu is in the office with a
mustache and says something in Japanese. Finally, a chicken in the cage enters
and has Santino’s voice as it says that a Divas Pajama Match is coming up soon.
WTF just happened?
Zack Ryder w/ Rosa Mendes v. MVP
In a match far too similar to the Swagger/Santino one from earlier, this is over
before it even starts. A couple of lock ups before MVP hits his finisher to end
it.
Winner via Play Maker: MVP
****Commercial****
Justin Roberts is in the ring and introduces tonight’s guest hosts, Cheech &
Chong. They come out to “Slow Rider”. Chong welcomes everyone to Monday Night
RAW. Cheech points out that the show has been on for an hour and a half already,
or a day and a half, he’s not really sure.
Divas Pajama Pillow Fight
Gail Kim, Eve & Kelly Kelly v. Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall & Maryse
Cheech and Chong join in on commentary. This is apparently a free for all as
everyone goes after Maryse. Then Jillian attacks Alicia Fox. Jillian attempts to
sing, so Kelly gets to her feet and a shoves a pillow in her mouth. Apparently
pin falls are the way to win. Alicia Fox is really taking it to Gail Kim, but
Kim counters with her finisher. Eve then kicks Gail to the outside of the ring.
Eve heads over Alicia Fox and does a front flip leg drop a la Kevin Steen (ROH).
This is enough for the victory.
Winner via Front Flip Leg Drop: Eve
After the match Hornswoggle appears from under the ring with three boxes of
Lucky Charms. This somehow turns into a Lucky Charm fight between Hornswoggle
and the guest hosts. Michael Cole and King get caught in the mix as Lucky Charms
are flying everywhere. Cole protests and begs Jerry not to indulge in the
psychedelics, because they still have to call the main event.
Seriously, WTF did I just spend the past 15 minutes recapping?
Michael Cole calls it “Vintage Hornswoggle” as we head to a video package to
discover the next 2010 Hall of Fame inductee.
Hall of Fame Inductee
“Mad Dog” Vachon inducted by Pat Patterson
Up next: Bret “Hitman” Hart
****Commercial****
Justin Roberts is in the ring and begins to introduce Bret Hart. Before he can
finish, McMahon’s music hits. Vince gets in the ring and cuts an introduction
very similar to the one he cut when Hart first returned to the WWE. Hart comes
out onto the ramp with a crutch so that he can walk.
Video package airs highlighting the events that have gone down between Hart and
McMahon
Vince apologizes for what has happened over the past couple of weeks. Hart says
that he does not know if McMahon is being sincere. If Vince is going to give him
a final farewell, then he needs to get the hell out of the ring. Vince says that
Bret once called him a “world class liar”. McMahon says that if you are going to
be a liar, you might as well be a world class liar! Vince says that of course he
lied, he is here to screw Bret once again.
Vince asks Bret if he remembers challenging him to a match at Wrestlemania. Bret
says that he remembers, but he is a currently incapacitated. McMahon says that
even an old fossil such as Hart can heal in six weeks. (The accident was two
weeks ago, plus the four remaining weeks to Wrestlemania). Vince starts to goad
Hart by saying that Bret came back to RAW to fight McMahon, and that is the real
underlying reason. Vince goes over literally every bad thing that he has done to
Bret over the years. Vince says if Bret won’t do it for himself, then he needs
to do it for all of the fans around the world. They want to see Hart back in the
ring one more time. Surely, he won’t let the fans down?
Hart says that he knows what Vince is trying to do, but it doesn’t matter. Hart
says that he “has a broken leg, idiot”. Vince says that Bret has no heart any
longer. He is letting everyone down. McMahon calls Hart a coward. Vince kicks
the crutch away from Hart, which sends the Hitman to the canvas. Vince exits the
ring, as Hart struggles to get to his feet. McMahon calls him a coward over and
over again as he heads up the ramp. Finally Hart grabs the microphone and says
that if McMahon wants a match at Wrestlemania, then he’s got it! Vince says that
while Bret may be injured he is not. To show off his physical prowess, next week
on RAW Vince is going to take on JOHN CENA!
****Commercial****
Next Week’s Guest Host: Criss Angel
Unified Tag Team Championship
HHH & Shawn Michaels (DX) v. Big Show & The Miz (ShoMiz)
The match starts with Big Show and Michaels in the ring. Show whips HBK into the
corner and then tags in Miz. Miz kicks him in the face and goes for a cover, but
Shawn kicks out. Miz locks him up and tags in his partner. Show enters the ring
and punches Shawn in the kidney. Show lifts Shawn up in the air for a bear hug.
Michaels punches and chops his way to freedom. Show goes for a chokeslam, but
HBK counters to run out of the way and tag in HHH.
The Game enters and hits a knee to the jaw of Show. He follows this up with a
Spinebuster! He goes for the Pedigree, but Miz enters the ring. HHH hits Miz
with a Spinebuster. This gives Show enough time to get to his feet and connect
with a Chokeslam. Michaels enters the ring and hits Sweet Chin Music on Show!
Both HHH and Show are on the mat and aren’t able to get up until the count of 9.
Both men tag in their respective partners. HBK hits an inverted Atomic Drop on
Miz and then heads to the top rope. HBK connects with the Elbow Drop! Michaels
is tuning up the band, when The Undertaker’s face appears on the Titantron.
Undertaker rolls his eyes up into his head. Miz sneaks up on Shawn and gets a
roll-up victory.
Winners via The Power of Undertaker’s Eyes: ShoMiz
After the match, HHH tries to help HBK to his feet, but Shawn walks away in
disgust. Moments later, Sheamus appears out of nowhere to attack HHH! He
connects with a big boot and sends HHH to the outside. He kicks HHH one more
time which sends him over the announce booth as the show heads off the air.